


Disrupting the Delicate Balance

by trixwitch



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian Sex, Magic, Multi, Open Marriage, Poly Relationship, Poly Relationships, Polyamory, Post-Season/Series 06, Sex Magic, Sharing a Bed, Smut, lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2018-12-13 23:43:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixwitch/pseuds/trixwitch
Summary: After they defeat the Black Fairy's curse, things in Storybrooke settle down for a long time. Regina starts to have feelings for Emma, which she denies because Emma and Hook are married. But when the barrier spell around the town begins to weaken, and Regina's delicate balance of dark and light magic goes haywire, Emma offers the only solution she can think of - a sex magic spell to tether Regina's light magic to her body.





	1. Magical Disruption

Regina sighed and put down the book she’d been paging through. She half-heartedly shuffled through a box of vials before putting it down too and sinking to sit on the steps of her vault. She didn’t know why she bothered anymore. Since defeating the Black Fairy last year, nothing magical had bothered anyone in Storybrooke. Other than Mr. Gold of course, but honestly even he had been more of a nuisance than an actual threat.

And yet she couldn’t help feeling like she needed to stay sharp, just in case. So she did what she was best at; she set a goal and pursued it with mechanized regularity. Every Tuesday she came down here to work out something new. It didn’t matter what, as long as it pushed the limits of her magic. But today she’d hit a wall almost immediately and couldn’t concentrate well enough to get through it. She sighed again. She used to be able to focus on this work for hours, days even. Lately she was as bad as Emma, who seemed unable to sit still for more than five minutes.

Regina spared a moment to wonder what Emma was doing with herself today. Then she shook her head as entirely inappropriate thoughts started to wind themselves through her mind. Clearly she needed to satisfy certain … cravings if she was fantasizing about her best friend that way.

She stood up and willed her thoughts to quiet. She tapped into her emotions and pulled at her core to bring her magic to the surface. Regina was proud of the magic she wielded these days. It wasn’t pure light magic, could never be. But it was sourced from a place of love and acceptance, and made stronger by the grit and resolve she’d cultivated in keeping her darker impulses in check. She was strong now in such a different way than she’d been as The Evil Queen. Her strength was more malleable and resilient, and it felt good. That was probably why she came down here once a week, to be honest; it grounded her to feel this new kind of power, and to practice drawing it into her body. And maybe she’d actually need one of these spells someday, too.

She set her resolve and opened the book. Just a few more tries.

 

**********

 

Later that night Regina and Henry were eating dinner, Regina listening with bemusement at her son’s retelling of the petty dramas at school. As she finished eating, though, something began to unsettle her. She focused in on the feeling, but as soon as she’d traced it to her magic, the feeling vanished. Not ten seconds later her phone rang from the kitchen. Normally she’d let it go during dinner, but something told her the timing wasn’t an accident. She knew she was right when she saw it was Emma calling.

“Did you feel that?” Emma burst out as soon as Regina answered.

“Yes, I did,” Regina replied, ignoring Emma’s lack of greeting. “But by the time I’d figured out what was bothering me it was gone.”

“Me too. Any ideas what it was?”

“Not yet. I need to think on it.”

“Are you home? I’ll come over and we can talk through it together.”

Regina hadn’t realized how tense she was until her shoulders relaxed just a bit. It was so nice to have someone else to help with these kinds of things, someone who she actually trusted, unlike Rumplestiltskin.

“Yes, Henry and I are just finishing dinner. Have you eaten?”

“I have, but thank you. See you in a few.”

Regina hung up and returned to the table.

“Emma’s coming over,” she explained in response to Henry’s questioning look. “We both felt some magical disruption and we need to talk about it.”

Henry looked at her blankly. “Magical disruption? When?”

“Just now. It happened right before she called.”

He shrugged. “That’s gotta be so weird to be able to feel things like that. Is everything OK?”

“I think so. It was very brief, but we should still find out what caused it.”

Emma showed up as they were clearing their plates. Henry answered the door and brought her back to the kitchen where Regina stood at the sink. Emma came over and squeezed her shoulder amicably.

“You OK?” she said by way of greeting.

Regina nodded. “It really was just that one little, I don’t know what to call it.”

“Blip?” Emma supplied. “To me it felt like the air suddenly went cold and stale. And then it was gone.”

Regina leaned back on the counter as she considered this. “Interesting. It was exactly the opposite for me. I felt like my insides were on fire for a moment.”

Emma put her arms down on the counter, resting her chin on her hands and looking at her. “But it happened at the same time, so clearly it was the same thing. Or at least related to the same thing. I suppose we should ask Gold if he felt it, too.”

Regina nodded. “Probably. But let’s do a little investigating first. I’d rather come to him with a theory than just a question.”

Emma laughed at this. “You and me both. I hate feeling like an idiot around him. Nothing else seems to have happened, so let’s see if we can come up with something and then we’ll go talk to him.”

Henry took this as his cue to head upstairs to start his homework. The two women turned to the task at hand, going through every detail of what they’d noticed. After about twenty minutes of this, though, it was clear that their original assessment of a momentary blip that left Emma cold and Regina hot was about all they had. Emma called in to the Sherriff station to make sure everything was OK. The officer on duty assured her nothing out of the ordinary had happened, so the only thing left was to talk to Gold.

Regina hesitated. “I know everything seems fine, but I don’t want Henry to be alone in case something happens. Why don’t you go, and I’ll stay here?”

“I’d rather we both go, to be honest. Would you be OK if I asked Hook to stay with Henry?”

Regina nodded.

“Let me call him.” She walked into the hallway to make the call. Regina busied herself tidying the kitchen, trying not to eavesdrop, but also noting the ease in Emma’s voice as she talked to her husband, as well as her own reaction to it; something like jealousy, and something like longing. She took a deep breath. Now was not the time to feel sorry for herself or covet what she couldn’t have.

Emma came back and hovered in the doorway. “Regina, thank you for being so great about Killian, and encouraging his relationship with Henry. It means a lot to me.”

Regina was caught totally off guard by this, and didn’t respond for a moment. Her emotions welled up and she turned away, taking a breath to steady herself. But when she turned back around, the expression on Emma’s face was so kind, she dropped her guard again and let herself answer honestly.

“Thank you, Emma. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy at first to let him into our lives, but now I’m glad that Henry has a man that he trusts around. As he gets older, I think that’ll be really important for him. And really, I’m just happy that you’re happy.”

Emma stepped forward and pulled Regina into a hug. Despite it being the last thing she was expecting, it felt good, and she pulled Emma in tight before releasing her. Whatever their relationship was, she was incredibly grateful for it at this moment.

Hook showed up soon afterwards, and Emma and Regina headed out to talk to Mr. Gold.

 

**********

“I did indeed feel something odd about an hour ago.”

Regina was frankly shocked at this admission, sure that Rumple would take this opportunity to play some kind of game with them. She decided to press her luck.

“And what did it feel like to you?”

“To me?” He repeated, and she realized she should have phrased the question differently.

“It felt different to the two of you?”

Emma, seemingly oblivious to his sidestep of the question, answered simply “It felt like a cold wind to me, and Regina said it felt like a fire in her gut.”

“Fascinating.”

His tone of voice set Regina on edge. He wasn’t going to answer the question, she could feel it.

“What did it feel like to you?” Emma repeated her question from before.

“Well it wasn’t a problem with temperature regulation, I can tell you that much.” Regina groaned inwardly. She was wrong. He was going to answer, and he was going to do it in a way that made him seem like the superior wielder of magic. This was getting old.

She glanced over at Emma, who now wore a similar expression of annoyance. Emma caught her eye and raised her eyebrows as if to ask who wanted to engage. Regina nodded and took one for the team.

“Well then, by all means, enlighten us,” she said reluctantly.

Rumple either didn’t notice or chose to ignore her sarcastic tone and launched right in. “What you experienced as a fire or a cold wind, I felt more properly for what it was, a change in the quality of the background magic around us.”

Regina furrowed her brow. “And what changed about it?”

“Well I’m not sure as of yet. We all felt the moment it changed, but the new baseline integrated in so quickly it’s hard to tell what’s different about it.”

“OK,” said Emma slowly. “How do we figure that out?”

“We don’t,” replied Rumple. “This wasn’t an outside magical force that we can trace, it was something internal to the magic that we brought here to this realm. So really, we just have to wait to see if happens again.”

“Oh come on, Rumple. I know you have a theory.” Regina wasn’t about to let him brush them off so easily.

He grinned. “Perhaps. But I’m telling you the truth that there really isn’t enough to go on right now. If it happens again, then maybe I’ll have a theory.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead turned to leave. Emma hung back for a moment, though, so Regina waited at the door for her.

“Do you think something’s wrong?” she heard her friend ask. Regina listened for the answer, once again grateful to not be doing this on her own.

“Time will tell. So far nothing seems to have changed significantly, though.”

“A very reassuring answer,” Regina snorted. Rumple just gazed at her coolly. Emma turned and followed Regina out of the shop.

They stayed silent until they got into Regina’s car and headed back towards her house.

Emma spoke first: “Well, what do you think? Is he right? Did something in the, what did he call it? Background magic?”

Regina nodded.

“Did something just shift of its own accord? Is that something that happens?”

Regina thought about it. “I honestly don’t know. It’s definitely possible. We don’t really know what magic does in the long run here. Magic behaves differently in every realm, and Storybrooke is kind of a realm unto itself. So really anything’s possible.”

They were quiet for a few more minutes. Eventually Regina gave voice to her thoughts. “Unfortunately I can’t think of anything else to do, so I think he’s also right that we need to just wait to see if it happens again.”

They returned home to Henry and Hook, and the four of them stood chatting for a few minutes before Emma and Hook went home. Regina was left with an oddly empty feeling when she shut the door, and went to bed early to sort out the events of the day.


	2. Getting Closer

Regina was wary of the invitation, but she made herself go anyway. She definitely enjoyed Emma and Hook’s company, although it was usually with Henry in tow. The four of them fell into an easy family dynamic, which surprised everybody except Henry, who seemed to understand a lot more about his parents’ relationships than even they did. Maybe it was because it had taken so long for all of them to warm up to each other (or, you know, stop trying to kill one another), but now they got along like the old friends they were.

Emma and Regina no longer had to even talk about their shared custody of Henry – they just went with the routine they’d established and adjusted accordingly. Adding Hook to the picture had meant that Emma was more likely to ask Regina to take Henry overnight sometimes, and Regina didn’t want or need to ask why they wanted the house to themselves. Honestly, though, she was happy for both of them. Life after the Black Fairy’s curse had for once settled down to just the usual dull roar of challenges in a small town. Regina was content with her bizarre little family, and new friendships she’d been able to cultivate since finally ridding anyone of “Evil Queen” ideas. If she felt a little lonely late at night, alone in her bed, well, that was a loneliness she could handle.

When Emma invited her to join them for dinner while Henry was out camping with his grandparents, she’d said yes because the loneliness threatened to grow when her family anchors were far away. And now she was headed to dinner aboard the Jolly Roger, because apparently it was beautiful in Storybrooke harbor at sunset. And apparently Hook knew how to cook, as she’d been instructed not to bring anything except her appetite.

So here she was, not entirely sure what to expect as she walked up the gangplank to the Jolly Roger.

“Regina, hi! I’m so glad you could come.” Emma bounded towards her and wrapped her in a quick hug before stepping around her to lean over the side of the ship. She waved her hands and the gangplank flew onto the dock while the ropes coiled themselves neatly on deck. The ship began to move, and Regina went to sit on the steps. She watched with a small glimmer of pride as Emma expertly plied her magic to unfurl the sails and weigh anchor. She appreciated that Emma didn’t just push the ship out with magic, but instead showed off her knowledge of actual sailing, just without sailors to do the work. It was beautiful to watch, and Regina caught herself smiling at her friend, who fixed her with a wide grin before turning back to her work.

“She’s really taken to sailing.”

Regina turned to see Hook emerging from below decks, and she smiled at him warmly. “Yes, it looks like she has. Did you teach her?”

Hook came to lean on the rail next to her. “Aye. But she’s the one that decided she could sail with magic. I’d call myself a lazy ass for sitting on deck while she does all the work, but she always has me cooking when we come out here. Says I make better seafood in the galley than at home.”

Regina laughed. “I didn’t know you could cook at all.”

“I’m full of surprises, love.” He gave her a wink. Regina smiled despite herself. Hook had regained a lot of his flirtatious self once things had settled down in town. She tried not to take it seriously, and sometimes gave as good as she got, enjoying their banter. That was something the three of them did well – banter.

Hook pushed off the railing and sauntered over to a little table they’d set up on deck. “Can I get you a drink? We’ve got wine or rum.”

Regina gave him a withering look.

“Wine it is, then.”

“What is it with pirates and rum, anyway? It’s not like you sailed anywhere near where they actually made the stuff. Just trying to fulfill the stereotype?”

“What can I say? I like a strong drink with just enough sweetness that’ll really get the blood pumping.” His tone made it clear this was supposed to be an innuendo, but it was so strained Regina just laughed. Hook laughed along with her, though, and she relaxed through the last bit of tension she’d held.

Emma came up as they were laughing, slipping her hand into Hook’s and kissing him on the cheek. He turned to kiss her briefly on the lips, and Regina felt that same combination of jealousy and longing overtake her. She looked away, trying to focus on the sparkle of the setting sun on the water instead of the ache in her chest. She’d come to realize, deep down, that it wasn’t just loneliness, but she refused to let her feelings for Emma get in the way of the incredible friendship they’d cultivated.

Emma stepped away and pushed Hook towards the hatch. “Time to get cooking, Captain,” she called after him. Hook grinned as he disappeared below.

She turned to Regina. “Come on, let’s climb up to the top of the mast. It’s such a beautiful view from up there.”

Regina took one look at the rigging and turned her dubious gaze on her friend. “There’s no way I’m climbing up there.” She glanced down at Emma’s sundress. “And neither are you – you’re wearing a dress.”

Emma smirked and hoisted herself up onto the side of the ship. “Well if you’re worried about it, don’t look.” She winked at Regina and started climbing.

Regina’s breath caught. She was used to a little flirtation from Hook, but not from Emma. She drew on every available ounce of will power to keep from looking up as Emma climbed above her.

She heard Emma’s voice from above, shouting “Are you coming or not?”

Regina just shook her head. “Not!”

“Fine. Stay down there all by yourself, then.”

Regina rolled her eyes, but gave in and allowed herself a quick glance up, where she was treated to the sight of Emma’s powerful body swinging with ease around the rigging. She closed her eyes to bring herself back to reality, and used her magic to arrive at the top just as Emma was clambering up onto the platform. She sat down and let her feet dangle over the edge, making sure to keep one hand on a rope. The gentle swaying of the sea was magnified up here, and while it was still pleasant, she didn’t feel totally at ease.

Emma seemed to be perfectly comfortable, or maybe even happier up here, and Regina commented on this.

“I guess when I fell in love with Hook I figured I’d have to get to know his ship, too. And it turns out I fell in love with both of them.” Regina smirked at her, but Emma just laughed and continued, “There’s something so freeing about being out on the water, or up here above it. And Killian really does love this ship. So I guess I like that we both get to love her now.”

Regina looked at her curiously. Emma wasn’t usually so open about her feelings. Maybe being 70 feet in the air made her feel more forthcoming. Whatever it was, it made Regina’s heart warm. “That’s beautiful, Emma,” she said. “I’m delighted to see you so happy.”

“And I’m delighted to get to share this with you,” Emma replied. She scooted closer to Regina and leaned across her to point back towards the shore.

“Look, you can see Archie walking on the beach over there. And that little white blur in front of him is Pongo.”

Regina dutifully looked but was entirely distracted by the way Emma’s arm leaning on the platform brought their bodies into contact. She looked at Emma, who turned towards her and dropped her arm into her lap, where it lay just grazing the edge of Regina’s thigh. Their faces were now inches from each other, and Regina held her breath as she watched green eyes begin to burn with an intensity that at once terrified and attracted her. Emma hadn’t ever looked at her like that before, and Regina tried hard not to reach anything into it. Then Emma reached out to brush the hair out of Regina’s face, and she released the breath she’d been holding all at once, only to gasp another one in and hold it. Her eyes closed momentarily as her body strained towards the tender touch. But she held as still as she could, wanting to savor this moment and also knowing that she absolutely should not want that. Whatever Emma was feeling or doing, it had nothing to do with the desire Regina felt coursing through her veins at the moment.

Just then she heard Hook shouting up from below “dinner’s ready!” That seemed to break the spell, and Emma smiled sweetly at her.

“Dinner’s ready,” she repeated, and stood up with a hand on the ropes above her. She reached down and offered a hand to Regina. Regina took it without thinking and was immediately whisked down to the deck in Emma’s magic. She took a deep breath as they landed to try to clear her head. She was frustrated with herself for getting caught up in the moment, and tried to push her emotions down. Maybe whatever made Emma talk so openly about Hook and the ship made her act like that towards her. Regina shook her head a little and picked up her abandoned wine glass, reminding herself that while alcohol always seemed like a good idea, she should be cautious given how on edge she was feeling right now. So she sipped at the wine and walked a pace or two behind Emma, just to get her head cleared of the intimacy of that moment above.

 

The table, Regina had to admit, was beautiful. A steaming platter of pan-fried fish sat amidst dishes of vegetables and roasted potatoes, and there were even candles burning merrily in ornate silver candlesticks. Silver forks and knives were set to match, and red linen napkins. The whole thing was incredibly romantic, and Regina wondered what the hell she was doing here.

But before she could get lost in her thoughts, Hook was pulling out a chair for her to sit, and Emma was pouring her more wine. Emma sat to her right, Hook directly across. He raised a glass and proposed a toast.

“To good food, good wine, and good company.”

Regina raised her glass and then quickly buried her nose in it so she didn’t have to look at either of them. Once they started eating, though, things settled back into something more normal. Talk turned to Henry, of course, and his latest crush at school. And then they wandered through the town gossip, and a whole host of mundane topics that nevertheless made the time pass quite enjoyably. By the time they’d finished eating, Regina had managed to settle back into enjoying the company of friends, leaving her feelings about Emma solidly in their place.

The sun had set and the orange twilight reflected off the water, giving everything a warm and welcoming glow. She saw the appeal of getting away from town and out into this beauty. While Emma helped Hook take the dishes below to the galley, Regina wandered out to the prow of the ship, leaning on the gunwales and staring out to sea. How funny that this little town that she’d created in anger and hurt could hold so much beauty now. She supposed it had always been beautiful, but now she could see it and appreciate it. Despite everything that had happened over the past seven years, she was grateful to be where she was at this moment.

“That’s my second favorite place to hang out.” Regina turned towards Emma’s voice as she walked up to join her.

“I think I prefer it down here,” said Regina, turning back towards the water. “I’ll leave the monkey climbing to you and Hook.”

Emma laughed but didn’t respond. Instead she leaned next to Regina, mirroring her movements. They gazed out at the horizon together until Hook came up from below to join them as well.

“Ladies,” he said, slipping an arm around Emma’s waist. She folded into him and kissed him on the cheek. Regina looked back out at the water.

Emma pulled herself a little away from him. “Killian, why don’t we set up the cushions on the deck like we did last week? We can all relax and watch the stars come out.”

He agreed and went off to do the setting up. Regina couldn’t resist a snarky comment on this. “You? Sit still and watch the stars come out? Clearly he has you under some kind of spell, dear.”

“Oh, ha ha,” Emma replied. “I sit still sometimes. You’re just not around to see it.”

Regina raised her eyebrows. “We’ll see how long you last.”

 

They settled themselves on the deck amidst the cushions and blankets that were actually quite comfortable, and opened another bottle of wine. Emma sat between Regina and Hook, then lay down with her head on his shoulder, feet angled towards Regina. Regina watched her out of the corner of her eye, but soon surrendered to the peace of the evening. She hadn’t noticed when conversation broke off, but when she did she felt no need to break the companionable silence.

Emma was the first to speak after a long while.

“What do you do when you go to your vault every week, Regina?”

Startled, Regina looked at her. “How do you know I do that?” she said, a little more sharply than she’d intended.

“Relax, Regina. I’m not keeping tabs on you or anything. Henry told me, and he wondered what you were doing, too.”

Regina bristled for a moment but shook it off. Of course Henry was curious, and of course he talked about her to Emma. That’s just how he was. He talked about Emma to her, too.

“I’m just practicing magic,” she replied, more calmly. She looked up into the sky and without really deciding to, said honestly “I like to feel the combination of light and dark magic that I can use now. I worked hard to find that balance, and it helps me feel confident in it to test it on new skills.”

Emma reached out and squeezed her hand as she replied, “I get that. We’re all really proud of you for finding that balance.”

Regina just nodded and pulled her hand back, picking up her wine glass as an excuse to get away from the touch she craved but couldn’t let herself enjoy.

Instead, Regina gazed up into the darkened sky and let her senses drown out her thoughts. The air was cool and tinged with the scent of salt water as it blew across her face. She could hear the gentle lapping of the waves on the hull of the ship, and the buoys clanging farther away. The wine as she sipped at it warmed her from the inside out, and she could feel the faint heat radiating from Emma’s body, just inches from her.

Regina sank into the peace of the moment, and let her mind wander easily. A question popped into her head and she voiced it without a second thought.

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t cast the curse in the first place?”

Neither answered for a moment, and then Hook spoke up. “I’ve found it best not to ask that kind of question. I regret a lot of choices I’ve made, but it doesn’t change the fact that I made them.”

“Yeah,” said Emma. “I’m sure that some things would have been better and some would have been worse. Like that wish world the Queen sent us to.”

“I know,” said Regina. “And really I wouldn’t do anything to take away getting to raise our son, or the family I have now. But I still can’t help wondering what my life would look like if I’d never turned to dark magic.”

Emma reached for her hand again, and this time Regina let her hold it. Something about the quiet of the night made it feel like they were in a time outside of time, where she didn’t have to be guarded and stop herself from seeking comfort. And right now that physical contact felt like a better answer than anything Emma could have said.

Regina shuffled herself around so she could lie down, not letting go of Emma’s hand in case she decided to take it back. As she looked up at the stars, she felt a calm wash over her. She knew she’d always have this struggle to accept herself and the things she’d done. But in this moment, she would gratefully accept a respite from that struggle, and could simply be thankful for the life she had now.

They lay there, lost in their own thoughts for longer than Regina cared to calculate. She must have drifted off, because all of a sudden she woke to the feeling of magic surrounding her. She tried not to panic as she looked around. Emma had deposited all three of them on a bed in what must be the captain’s quarters below decks. She let go of Regina’s hand to sit up and pull blankets around them.

“What are you doing?” asked Regina warily.

“It got cold on deck,” Emma replied simply. Killian handed her his hook to put on the shelf at the foot of the bed, then lay back down and turned onto his side, clearly still half asleep and perfectly at ease here.

“But…” Regina didn’t know what to say. She wanted to ask what she was doing here, and whether she was invited to stay, but couldn’t find the words to say any of it. She desperately wanted to stay, not wanting the closeness of this night to end, but couldn’t think why they would let her.

Emma saw the question coming, though, and answered it without needing to hear the words. “You’re welcome to sleep here if you want to, Regina.” She left it at that, but it was enough.

Regina locked eyes with her for a moment, trying to decide if she should ask why. In the end she gave in to her body, which was cold and tired above anything else, and just said “I hope you don’t snore.” Humor was the best way to deflect the torrent of emotions in her chest right now.

Emma laughed. “No promises.” She crawled into bed next to Killian and held the covers up for Regina. Regina kicked her shoes off and lay down, quickly turning so she was facing away from Emma. She closed her eyes and let the warmth at her back lull her back to sleep.


	3. Another Magical Disruption

Sometime early in the morning, Regina’s eyes flew open and she gasped at the fire coursing through her veins.

“Emma!” she cried, sitting up and reaching for the other woman in the darkened cabin. She felt Emma’s hands grasp at her back as she sat up too.

“Regina,” she whispered. “It’s so much stronger this time.” She shivered violently, and Regina realized that if the magical disruption was making her system feel like it was on fire, Emma must be freezing from the inside out. Without thinking, she pulled Emma close to her. She was indeed cold to the touch, but Regina felt the burning heat in her body lessen at every place their bodies touched. Emma must have felt it too, and she turned to press herself into Regina’s arms.

As they clung to each other, Emma whimpered softly and Regina fought to keep her composure as she felt like she was going to literally crawl out of her skin. And then suddenly it was gone. Their bodies returned to normal, and both women took deep breaths to settle themselves. Emma sat back on the bed beside Regina, but kept her hands on her arms. “What the hell is going on?” she muttered.

“I don’t know,” said Regina as she pulled herself out of bed and hunted for her shoes. “But we should probably go try to figure it out.”

Emma nodded. “Let me get Hook up and I’ll bring us back to shore.”

Regina watched out of the corner of her eye as Emma knelt next to Killian to wake him and give him the run-down of what was happening. He nodded and sat up, shaking the sleep out of his eyes. Regina turned away. She shouldn’t have access to these intimate moments between them. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t want to be here. She forced her mind to focus back on her magic. That’s what she should be thinking about, not the lingering touch of Emma’s fingers on Killian’s cheek, or the memory of those fingers caressing her own face earlier. Emma got them all safely back to shore, and they decided the best places to start were the town line and the wishing well. If this had to do with the background magic they’d brought to Storybrooke all those years ago, then those seemed like likely candidates for investigation.

 

**********

 

Regina suggested they split up, as much so they could cover more ground as to give her a few minutes to clear her head. As soon as she was alone, she felt her emotions creep up to the surface once again. She concentrated hard to get them in check. What she didn’t tell Emma was how horribly familiar that fiery feeling had been – as the Evil Queen, that was her baseline, and it only got worse from there. She had worked too hard to find a balance in her life to be thrown back into that particular fire again.

She stalked up to the wishing well and felt around for anything unusual. Nothing was immediately apparent, so she wandered away to pace and let her thoughts begin to sift through the events of the past 24 hours. Her heart was in turmoil from the intimacy of the evening followed closely by the intensity of this magical … whatever it was. And she still had no idea what to do with Emma’s behavior, touching her and inviting her to sleep with them.

Her phone rang as she was pondering this. It was Emma.

“Regina? I need you to come here to the town line.”

“Did you find something?”

“Yes. And it’s … just come here please.”

Emma sounded worried, so Regina poofed right to where she was. Emma beckoned her over as soon as she appeared. “Touch it,” she said, indicating the line.

“What is it?” Regina asked.

“Just touch the barrier.”

Regina put out a hand and tentatively reached towards the space over the line. She was immediately overcome with that same fire, but magnified many times over. She yanked her hand back and turned to Emma sharply.

“What did you feel?” she demanded, although part of her already knew the answer.

“It was like I was the Dark One again – cold, empty. But all of it concentrated into one moment and filled with the darkest magic.”

Regina nodded.

“You felt like the Evil Queen again, didn’t you?” Emma asked, her voice softening.

Regina nodded again and looked away.

Emma took her hand. “Try something for me. Touch it again, but with our hands joined.”

Regina stared at her. “Are you kidding me? What if it magnifies that darkness even more and something … bad happens?” She didn’t need to specify what she meant.

“No hear me out, Regina. Earlier it got better when we were touching, like the heat and the cold cancelled each other out. I just want to see what happens if we do that here.”

Regina sighed but she agreed. If nothing else they needed to be scientific about this.

They joined hands and reached out to touch the barrier. Regina felt heat erupt through her right hand, which was on the barrier, and a cool, calm energy flow through her left hand, which was joined with Emma’s. Where they met in the middle, near her heart, a confused tempest grew and threatened to knock her off her feet. She gasped and jumped back, pulling her hand off the barrier. Emma gripped her left hand hard as they both stood for a moment catching their breath.

It was in this position that Mr. Gold found them as he appeared in a cloud of dark red smoke. He looked at them and raised an eyebrow at their joined hands, which they quickly dropped. Regina tried to look composed as she turned to face him.

“Well? Any idea what caused this latest disruption?”

“Like you I’m here to investigate. I stand by my observation that it has to do with the background magic of Storybrooke, and we had the same thought to try testing the barrier.”

He walked over and placed both hands calmly on the barrier, his face betraying no reaction. If it was affecting him like it did her, Regina could see no sign of it.

“Fascinating,” he said finally, lowering his hands.

After a beat, Emma prompted, “What is?”

“The barrier field appears to be weakening.”

Regina caught Emma’s worried look.

“What does that mean?”

“It means we could soon be wide open to the outside world.” This time even Gold sounded worried.

“Oh my God,” breathed Emma. “That would be a disaster. I thought we made sure this couldn’t happen?”

“So did I, Miss Swan. Something must have changed.”

“What the hell could have done that?”

“Well I’m not entirely sure as of yet, but I do sense an imbalance of dark magic.”

Regina nodded. “I noticed that, too.” A thought occurred to her. As it did she felt her stomach drop and all the color drained from her face.

“Regina?” Emma placed a hand on her arm.

“I … might have an idea of what’s going on.” She unconsciously leaned towards Emma as she spoke, drawing strength from the physical connection. “I think we, collectively, have so greatly reduced the concentration of dark magic here that the curse itself is coming untethered.”

Emma gaped at her. “But, Gold is still the Dark One. And a powerful Dark One at that.”

“Yes,” said Gold. “But in killing my mother and choosing to save Giddeon I weakened the very darkness that my power is tied to. To be perfectly honest I had noticed that happen, but never thought it would affect the town’s magic. You might just be right about this.”

“So what do we do?” Emma asked in that voice Regina had grown to appreciate, indicating she was ready for action and just waiting to be pointed in the direction of something to fight.

“I need to think about that,” replied Gold. “If the curse itself is running out of dark magic, we may need to find a way to supply it with some.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” said Emma warily.

“I don’t imagine you would,” sneered Gold. “Nevertheless, it may be the only option. Let’s meet back at my shop in a few hours. I’ll have an answer for you then.” And without waiting for them to respond he disappeared.

Regina stood there quietly, fighting the urge to disappear herself.

Emma took charge of the situation, saying “Come on, let’s go do some research ourselves. But first let’s stop at Granny’s for coffee. As cozy as we all were last night, I don’t think we got a lot of sleep.”

She didn’t wait for Regina’s reply, which was a mercy since Regina had no idea what to say. She was consumed by guilt over this revelation about dark magic. Once again, her choices, her past were putting them in danger. Now even her choice to reject the darkness was coming back to bite her. She couldn’t win, and the reminder of the ease and peace of last night only threw the current reality into stark contrast. So she let Emma whisk her around town, getting coffee, stopping at her house to grab some books, and finally ending up in Regina’s vault to being pouring through books and notes, looking for a clue as to what they could do.

 

**********

 

Everything in Regina’s vault was a dead end, and she could feel the frustration creeping up. She tossed a book down on the table and started pacing.

“Hey! It’s OK, we’ll figure it out.” Emma crossed the room to stand next to her, looking like she was about to reach out to her. Before she could, though, Regina turned away. She didn’t think she could handle that right now.

“I know, Emma! I’m just … on edge.” She sighed and sat down. “I hate feeling like this again.”

Emma took the hint that Regina needed some space and sat down across the room from her. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I hate feeling like I can’t trust my own instincts. I was just saying last night that I’m happy with the balance I’ve come to, and now this dark magic imbalance is threatening all of that.”

“But you’re stronger this time, Regina. It won’t be like before. Besides, we’re in this together.”

Regina shrugged, not entirely convinced. Just then her phone rang. It was Mr. Gold – he’d come up with something.

 

**********

 

They entered the shop to find Gold standing there with the dagger in his hand. Emma stopped so abruptly, Regina nearly ran her down.

“What are you doing with that thing?” Emma demanded, clearly gearing up for a fight.

“Relax, Miss Swan. It’s simply the tool I need to perform the spell I have in mind.”

Emma looked like she didn’t buy it, so Regina brushed her arm softly and said, “Come on, Emma, let’s hear what he’s come up with.”

This broke Emma out of her fighting stance, and she shook her head. “Sorry. I guess I’m a little on edge today, too.”

They followed Gold to the back of the shop, where he’d gathered a collection of candles of different shapes and sizes on a small table.

“What we need to do,” he explained, positioning the three of them in a rough circle around the table, “is ensure the curse’s barrier spell has a constant supply of dark magic, so it doesn’t keep trying to pull it out of the background magic of the town. And the best way to do that is to tether it to the dark magic each of us wields. That way _we_ will be in control of _it_ , instead of the other way around.”

Emma raised her eyebrows at him. “Why do I get the feeling this is a terrible idea?”

Gold flashed a predatory smile at her. “It’s not a terrible idea, Miss Swan, but it certainly won’t be easy for the two of you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Regina asked icily.

“It means, dearie, that for this to work you have to keep your dark magic just as strong as your light, something I know you’ve been trying not to do ever since you … reformed. I know how much you like to think you’ve given up the darkness, Your Majesty, but from now on, you’ll have to let it stay with you.”

Regina glared at him. “You know nothing of me, Imp.”

“OK,” Emma broke in. “Let’s keep focused on what needs to be done. Why does it need all three of us? No offense, but don’t you have enough dark magic on your own to keep it going?”

“Believe me, I tried. But the barrier spell is quite powerful, and I believe it will be more effective to share the load, as it were.”

Emma turned to look questioningly at Regina, asking silently if she thought Gold’s theory was sound.

“It makes sense. And despite certain people’s assumptions” she looked pointedly at Gold, who just smiled at her, “I’m well aware of the dark magic within me, and you, too, Emma. Tethering the spell to us will just require some re-thinking of how we access our magic.” She spoke with much more confidence than she felt, but she also sensed that Gold was right, and this was their best option. “I think we should do it.”

Emma thought for a moment and then agreed. They turned to Gold for directions.

“We’ll start by lighting the candles. Each of us should light the section in front of the person to our left.” Regina called up her dark magic, cringing at how readily it came, and lit the candles in front of Emma. When they were all lit, Gold raised the dagger, coaxing the flames higher until they connected in a point a few feet above their heads. He drew a line of fire slowly down from the point, and instructed them to put out their hands. As they did, the fire wound around their wrists, connecting into a circle that quickly tightened around their arms, and then suddenly broke in a shower of sparks.

Regina gasped as she felt the power flow through her. It was strong, and clearly dark, but nowhere near as intense as the jolts she’d felt in contact with the barrier spell, or the heat that threatened to overtake her earlier that day.

Gold stashed the dagger in his jacket. “Well? Everyone still in control of their faculties?”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Perfectly. I’d be happy to give you a demonstration if that would put your mind at ease.”

He laughed. “No need, Your Majesty. Just make sure the Savior here doesn’t convince you to let any of that dark magic fade away, or we’ll be right back where we started.”

Regina smirked and turned to go, Emma following closely behind her. When they got outside she turned to her. “You’re awfully quiet. Are you OK?”

Emma nodded. “I’m fine. Or, I will be. I kind of forgot how dark magic feels. It’s…”

“Intoxicating,” Regina supplied.

“Exactly,” Emma looked relieved. “I just need to get used to keeping a lid on it again.”

“We both will. But for right now, I could use a nap. Can you get yourself home OK?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, really.” Emma pulled her into a quick hug. “Call me if you need anything.”

Regina walked away, feeling a little off-balance but relatively hopeful. If there was one thing she knew how to do, it was keep her own darkness in check.


	4. Sex Magic

Two weeks later, Regina was a wreck. She’d been arrogant that first day, more worried about Emma than herself. But it had become clear that this was much harder than she’d expected. The swirl of dark and light magic inside her was maddening, and she was quite honestly hurtling towards her breaking point. She’d felt like this before, a few years ago right after she lost Robin. And she’d given up then – taking the magical way out by splitting the Evil Queen from herself. And ultimately that hadn’t even worked.

But actually, no, this time was different. Then it had been about keeping the darkness at bay. Now it was about maintaining a balance. She couldn’t simply cast the darkness away. She had to hold it, but hold it in check. And that was infinitely more difficult.

She was currently pacing the floor of her office, not daring to go home in her current state and risk lashing out at Henry. She had to do something about this, or she might not make it through the night. Maybe she should go someplace secluded and blow off steam. It seemed like as good an idea as any, so she grabbed her keys and jumped in the car, not trusting herself to use magic at the moment.

When she’d gotten far enough into the woods, she pulled over and made her way into the forest. It was just before twilight; the light was fading fast under the trees. She walked a little ways off the path and looked around her. In the stillness she felt the darkness bubble up inside of her.

Without a second thought she let it come and launched a fireball at the nearest tree. The crackle as it caught was satisfying, but nowhere near enough, so she launched another and another, until there was a wall of fire in front of her. The anger inside her seemed to build, so she took hold of a nearby branch and ripped at it with her hands. She tore shrubs from the ground, snapped twigs in two, flinging whatever she could get her hand on into the fire.

And then suddenly she felt her magic shift. It was subtle, but she could tell the darkness had started to gain the upper hand. She froze, realizing she’d made a huge mistake in letting it come to the surface like that. She quickly waved a hand to put out the fire in front of her, and walked back to the car as fast as she could. She tamped down her magic as far inside her as it would go, taking deep breaths to try to clear her head.

She arrived at Emma’s house without really having decided to go there. But she didn’t think twice before running up the stairs to knock on the door.

Hook answered, and from the expression of worry on his face, she knew she must look as bad as she felt. “Regina! Come in. Are you alright?”

He ushered her in to sit on the couch and called upstairs for Emma. At the sight of her, Emma came rushing over to sit down next to her. She took her hand and asked “what happened?”

Regina was suddenly embarrassed at how she’d gotten to this state, but knew there was no point in trying to lie to Emma. She managed to explain, “I went to the woods to try to let off some steam. And it made it worse.”

Without warning her body began to tremble, the effort of keeping her magic in check starting to wear on her nerves. Emma immediately pulled her into a tight embrace. Regina blinked back tears and heard herself say into Emma’s shoulder, “I don’t know if I can do this. I thought I was done with this fight, and I don’t know if I can do it again.”

Emma squeezed her closer for a moment, then leaned back to look at her. “You _can_ do this, Regina. But maybe you need help to do it. I’ve been thinking; if we can strengthen your light magic, maybe you won’t have to work so hard to keep the balance right. And I have an idea about that.” She hesitated for a moment, then brushed Regina’s tears away with her thumb as she asked softly, “Do you trust me?”

Regina swallowed hard and tried to breathe normally. “Yes,” she whispered.

Emma got up and crossed the room to Hook, who was hovering in the doorway. Regina sat as still as possible, trying to regain her composure. Yes, she trusted Emma, but that didn’t mean she was fine with coming apart like she just had in front of her. And Hook! She needed to clear her head if they were going to do something with magic. She focused inwards, willing her system to settle.

She heard Emma and Hook speaking quietly to each other, but didn’t bother trying to listen until she heard Emma say her name. She looked up.

“Is Henry at your place?”

“Yes,” said Regina, her voice finally steadier. “I left him there to go out into the woods, and he should still be there.”

Emma turned back to Hook, who nodded and headed out of the room and up the stairs.

“Killian’s going to stay with Henry for the night,” Emma explained as she walked back to the couch.

“The night?” Regina asked, suddenly wary of what Emma thought they needed to do.

“Uh, yeah. I think we need some time for this. And um, well, we also need to be alone.”

Emma’s hesitation made Regina even more suspicious. “Just what do you have in mind, Miss Swan?” she asked carefully.

Emma took a moment to compose herself, and just as she looked about to speak, Hook came back in to say goodbye. Regina watched as Emma leaned into his chest, noticing once again the way both of them seemed to relax as they got closer to each other. When they shared a sweet kiss, Regina didn’t even both trying to pretend she wasn’t watching. Her heart ached at the tenderness, something she hadn’t felt in quite a while and missed all the time.

As Hook looked up and caught her eye, he smiled at her warmly. She returned the smile, and felt something inside her unwind just the tiniest bit. She may not have true love, but she did have people she cared about in her life, even loved in her own way.

Hook left with a final “good luck,” and Emma returned to the couch. Regina felt considerably more at ease than she had for the last 24 hours. The battle still raged inside her, but trusting that she was not alone to face it helped a lot.

“Now then. You were about to tell me about your idea to help strengthen my light magic,” she prompted.

Emma immediately started to fidget, and she looked away as she started talking.

“So, I decided to take a page out of your book and do some research. Because, well, I didn’t know what else to do. And I came across actually a lot of information on this one particular way of anchoring light magic. The idea is that magic coming from an emotional place can be strengthened by tying it to the physical body. Something about associating that emotional experience with a physical feeling makes it way stronger.”

Regina held her breath. She had a horrible feeling she knew where this was going. There were only so many books of magic in town, and she was pretty sure she knew what Emma was about to suggest. Her mind raced ahead, trying to decide how to react when Emma finally said it.

“So here’s where things get … interesting,” Emma continued. For one moment, Regina considered saving her from saying it, but she really didn’t want to be wrong and make things even worse. So she let Emma continue stumbling through her point.

“The branch of magic this comes from is, well, let’s just call it sex magic. Which sounds like some kind of creepy pick-up line, but is actually a totally legit and very old form of magic.”

Here, Regina took pity on her, and cut in. “Yes, Emma, I know about it. I’ve read that same book you probably did. Transcendent Physicality?”

Emma’s eyes lit up and Regina couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes! Oh my God, I’m so glad I don’t have to convince you that this is a real thing.”

“Did you have a plan on how you were going to do that?” Regina just couldn’t let this one slide. And she was still deciding if she was going to agree to this or not, and wanted to stall for time.

Emma grinned sheepishly. “Not really. I figured at some point I could just go get the book.”

“That’s true.” They smiled at each other for a moment before returning to the matter at hand.

“But Emma, while I do know about the existence of such magic, I’ve never tried it, and don’t know any of the spells.”

“That’s OK! Obviously I’ve never done it before either, but I looked through this one spell and it seems totally doable. You just are going to have to trust me, and … let me touch you.”

Regina hesitated. A part of her cried out to be touched by this woman, no matter what the context. Another part of her shied away, not wanting to endanger the incredible friendship they’d developed. And another, louder part of her argued that there’s no way this would work, and could leave her incapacitated to maintain the delicate balance of magic she was barely keeping in check already. But the loudest voice in this cacophony was the one that said plainly and evenly that she had no other options in sight. That her choice was keep fighting with herself day in and day out, or try this.

She looked at Emma, trying to see all the things about her that made her the person she’d come to for help. Emma was strong and tough, and much worse at hiding her emotions than she thought. She’d been through heartbreak and abandonment, and had worked hard at learning to reach out and trust people. They understood each other this way. Emma pushed her to be better, and always followed it up with support and kindness, and well, love. She loved Emma in many complicated and varied ways. And if anyone could reach the heart of her light magic and make it strong enough to balance the influx of dark, it was her.

Regina took Emma’s hand and whispered, “I trust you, Emma. Tell me what we need to do.”

Emma clasped her hand in both of hers and looked Regina in the eye. “I know this will work, Regina. And it’s pretty simple. We’re going to activate your light magic and infuse your whole body with it while I bring you to orgasm. That should anchor it and keep the dark magic balanced without you constantly having to work at it.”

Regina nodded, not trusting herself to speak at the moment.

“Why don’t you take some time before we get started. You can take a shower if you want, or just hang out here. You know where my bedroom is upstairs?” Regina nodded once again. “Just come up there when you’re ready.”

Emma leaned in for a moment and brushed Regina’s hair out of her face. As she leaned away, Regina caught her wrist. “Promise me we will still be friends after this. That this won’t ruin what we have, as a family.”

Emma’s face softened, and she took Regina’s hand gently. “I promise. Nothing has ever been simple between us, and we’ve still managed to get to such a good place. We’ll make it work no matter what happens tonight. I promise.”

“Thank you, Emma,” Regina said quietly. Emma squeezed her hand and got up, stopping in the kitchen briefly before heading upstairs.

Regina sat for a while, going over everything in her head. She quickly came to the same conclusion, though, that this was her only option, and quietly dismissed the part of her that eagerly awaited the feel of Emma’s fingers on her skin. This was about magic, and so she would approach it like another spell to master.

She walked upstairs before she could talk herself out of it, and knocked on the door before entering. Emma was sitting on the bed with the spell book open in front of her. She smiled brightly as Regina came in and closed the door, gesturing for her to come sit next to her.

Regina sat rigidly. “What do I need to do?”

Emma took a deep breath. “I want this to feel easy for you, because your job is to hold your light magic as strongly as you can. So let’s just start by getting comfortable with each other first?”

She reached across Regina to put the book on the nightstand, and then scooted closer to her. She brought one hand up to caress her face, and took one of Regina’s hands with the other, intertwining their fingers. She leaned in to kiss Regina’s cheek softly. Regina felt herself melt at the touch. Who was she kidding? She wanted this, and not just to help her get a hold of her magic. Emma kissed her way down her neck, softly nuzzling her as she went, and Regina let her hands come up to caress Emma’s silky hair. Emma brought her lips back up to nibble on Regina’s ear. She murmured into it, “I know this will work. You and I already have such a strong connection. Trust me, Regina. Let me in.”

Regina didn’t want to think about the implication of her words. Instead she focused on the magic they needed to do. She’d read that book – she knew she had to be as open as possible for this to work. So she took a deep breath, and brought Emma’s lips to her own. She felt her whole body respond the minute they connected, and she deepened the kiss, opening her mouth and inviting Emma to enter in. And enter she did, swiping her tongue across Regina’s lips before pushing into her mouth. Regina couldn’t help herself. She moaned into Emma’s lips and slid her hands down to pull her closer. Emma responded by leaning them back on the bed and sliding her hands under Regina’s shirt. Regina responded in kind, and pretty soon they’d gotten each other stripped to the waist. Emma ran her hands along Regina’s torso, caressing every part of her she could reach. Regina shivered pleasantly, and when Emma began to undo the button of her trousers, she let her, helping kick them off swiftly, along with her panties. Emma stood to get her jeans off, then climbed back into bed and wrapped herself around Regina in a full body embrace.

Regina held tight to the arms around her, kissing Emma’s shoulder, and then murmured “I think I’m ready.”

Emma sat up and kissed her once more, gently. She then positioned herself between Regina’s legs on the bed. She cupped her face gently with one hand, and found Regina’s hand with the other. “OK. I’m going to start by getting our magic going. Get in touch with your light magic. Bring it up to the surface, and start pushing it into my hand.”

Regina closed her eyes and tried to do just that. After a moment, she could feel her hand warm, and she opened her eyes to see it glowing faintly.

“Good,” said Emma. “Now, let my magic in at the same time as continuing to push yours out. That should link us pretty strongly.” She took a deep breath in, and on the out breath, Regina felt a tingling in her whole arm as a white light emerged from Emma’s hand. She tensed for a moment before letting it travel into her system, feeling it mingle with her own magic before going back up her arm and into Emma’s. It was an incredible feeling, to be honest, and Regina settled into it gratefully.

Emma sighed and looked at Regina with unbelievable tenderness in her eyes. “Now keep that going, and kiss me.”

Regina immediately tensed, suddenly uncertain. She tried to shake it off as she leaned up and shyly placed a kiss on Emma’s lips. Emma looked at her more sternly this time.

“Kiss me like you mean it, Regina.” Emma bent down over her, shifting their joined hand so she could bring her other hand down to Regina’s collarbone, gently caressing the sensitive skin there. Regina shivered and tried again, easing back into the passion they’d sparked before. Emma bent down, and Regina moaned as their breasts brushed together.

Emma kept her head down near Regina’s neck as she shifted her weight, rolling to the side so her free hand had full access to the rest of her body. She touched Regina’s face and then brought up her magic into that hand as well. Regina gasped at the warmth that spread through her skin.

“I want you to try to follow my hand with your magic,” she murmured. “Let it intertwine like we just did.”

Regina nodded, trying to keep herself together. Her senses were overloaded already, and she knew she needed to stay present for this to work. She concentrated hard on the point of contact where Emma’s hand rested on her cheek, dragging a thin line of magic up to meet it. She heard a sharp intake of breath, and knew Emma felt the connection spark as well.

“Good,” Emma whispered. She slowly dragged her hand down the side of Regina’s neck. Regina closed her eyes to focus on following the trail from the inside. As Emma’s hand moved, it left in its wake a soft glowing light where their magic had intermingled. When her hand got to Regina’s breasts, she paused, resting her palm simply over one hardening nipple, letting Regina get used to the sensation. The spark of magic on such a sensitive part of her body made it doubly hard to keep focused. Her heart rate sped up, and she felt the ache between her legs start to pulse.

She breathed out Emma’s name and reached her other hand around to tangle in blonde hair. Emma responded by moving her hand to the other breast, this time squeezing gently and nuzzling her rib cage with her nose. This gesture, at once sweet and provocative, had Regina arching her back off the bed in an attempt to press more of her body into Emma’s.

Emma pulled her head up and said gently “Relax, Regina. Keep focusing on your magic, and let me take care of the rest.”

Regina groaned, but she nodded and let her body sink back into the bed. Emma returned her hand to Regina’s breasts, this time pinching and squeezing her nipples. Regina moaned and gasped and then remembered to concentrate on her magic. This happened in cycles as Emma moved her hand over her entire body. Eventually, every part of her glowed with trails of their intertwined light magic.

Emma stopped and raised herself up on her knees again, tugging their joined hands down to rest next to Regina’s shoulder. “Are you ready?” she didn’t need to specify for what. Regina nodded. Her body was more than ready, and she thought she could handle her magic, too.

Emma kissed her deeply as she brought her fingers to the soaking wet folds between Regina’s legs. As she dragged her fingers through them, Regina moaned into Emma’s mouth. She pushed her magic towards her center, trying desperately to hold on to her concentration. Emma rubbed her hand around in gentle circles a few more times, and then pushed two fingers into her with ease. Regina’s brain tried to tell her it was too much, and she fought her reflexes, willing her body to relax into it. She grabbed at Emma with her free hand.

Emma kissed her. “Let it happen, Regina. Don’t think about it. Your body is infused with light magic, just let yourself feel it. Let yourself come.” With a final push of will power, Regina dropped her rigid focus and lost herself to the sensations of her body. She wrapped her legs around Emma’s back and pulled her in closer as Emma sped up the thrusting of her hand.

She felt her orgasm build closer and closer, and just before she tipped over into ecstasy, the flow of magic into and out of her body suddenly locked into place. And then she was coming hard, the rush of sensation coalescing into a spiral of pure, powerful magic that swirled through her body and Emma’s. She forced her eyes open as she shuddered, and saw a bright light emanating from the places their bodies touched. She shivered with the aftershocks of her orgasm, the glow of light magic winding its way into her heart.

Her limbs collapsed back down onto the bed, and she felt Emma drape her weight across her hips as she tried to catch her breath. After a few minutes, Emma sat up. Regina opened her eyes.

“Last thing. You need to pull all of your magic back into your body, while I do the same. OK?”

Regina nodded. She tapped into her center and pulled her magic in, surprised at how easily it came. She barely missed Emma’s as it traveled back up through her arm and out of her body, that was how strong her own felt right now.

“I’m going to let go of your hand now. Ready?” Emma looked at her intently, as if to make sure she wasn’t going to explode as soon as she let go.

Regina finally found her voice to answer “I’m ready.” Emma slowly pulled her hand away. Regina sat up, repositioning her legs so Emma was once again sitting between them.

“How do you feel?” asked Emma tentatively.

Regina smiled. “Like I’m in control again. Emma, it worked!” She sat up and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you,” she murmured into her hair.

“I’m so glad it worked,” Emma replied, gently stroking Regina’s back and nuzzling into her shoulder.

Regina breathed in the scent of her, tasting the lingering magic in the air with it. Relief spread through her body as she felt the balance of dark and light settle deep inside her core. She ran her hands lightly over Emma’s hair, continuing down her bare back. When Emma shivered under her touch, she paid closer attention to what her body was doing. Emma’s chest was pressed up again her own, and Regina could feel how hard her nipples were. And as she ran her hands over Emma’s back, she noticed that Emma’s breath hitched when her hands got to certain places.

Solidly not thinking twice, Regina let her hands linger in those places, eliciting breathy sighs from the other woman. Since this was likely the only time this was going to happen, Regina decided on the spot to see if there was an opportunity for more. Her magic may have balanced out, but her body was quite frankly still wound up to a fever pitch.

She brought her hands to scratch lightly at Emma’s head, then bent to feather kisses on her neck.

“Would you let me reciprocate?” she whispered into Emma’s ear. “Without magic, of course.”

Emma groaned out, “yes. Please,” and pulled Regina closer to her. Their lips found each other and they lost themselves in exploring each other’s contours once again. Regina’s body vibrated with the energy coursing through it, her magic still close to the surface, even if it wasn’t active. She felt Emma’s, too, barely contained under her invitingly hot skin.

Regina pulled their lips apart, kissing her way down Emma’s neck, and finally coming to rest on alert nipples. Regina wrapped her mouth around one and sucked, the moan escaping Emma’s lips spurring her to suck harder and then nip gently with her teeth. Oh, Regina had missed this. It had been quite a while since she’d had sex, and even longer since she’d had sex with a woman. She’d forgotten how much she loved tracing curves with her tongue, exploring with fingers and lips.

She lay Emma down on the bed, climbing on top of her. She kissed her passionately, then trailed her mouth down once again, this time continuing down to suck on her hip bones. She glanced up and saw Emma watching her with ravenous eyes. She kissed her way farther down, until she was hovering between Emma’s thighs, the scent of her arousal making Regina positively giddy with desire. But she stopped for a moment and raised her head. “May I?” she asked.

Emma nodded vigorously, but caught the side of her chin before she could lean back down. “Thank you for asking,” she whispered, and Regina felt her heart glow with something like love, or light magic. At the moment she couldn’t quite tell the difference. But as she had given herself permission not to think about implications just now, she went with her physical instincts, which were to turn and kiss each of Emma’s fingers in turn.

Then she bent her head and, spreading Emma wide with her hands, finally dragged her tongue through glistening wet folds. They both groaned at the contact, so Regina did it again, slowly, savoring the incredible feel and taste on her tongue. Soon she was mapping the places that made Emma twitch and her breath catch. Regina’s focus narrowed in to the sensations on her mouth and the feedback from Emma’s body, and she very quickly brought the other woman up to her peak. Emma’s hips started to thrust forward, and Regina wrapped her arms around her thighs to keep her in place while she sucked hard on her clit, adding little swirls with her tongue. She slid a finger slowly inside her, gauging how Emma would react. When she grabbed her hair and moaned, Regina quickly replaced it with two fingers, pushing in firmly but slowly. She took her mouth away to glance up, but one look at the passion on Emma’s face had her returning to suck on her again. It didn’t take long before Emma came loudly, shuddering and twitching in the most incredible ways.

Emma batted at her, incoherently muttering something like “come here.” Regina briefly wiped her chin off before capturing Emma’s lips. Emma wrapped her arms and legs around her as they kissed, and Regina drank in the feeling of being so thoroughly enveloped by her. She pulled away from the kiss to lay her head down on the bed next to Emma’s shoulder, perfectly content to just lie there while Emma caught her breath. Regina focused her attention on the details of every place their body touched. There were still little stirs of magic at those places, which helped her keep her mind there, instead of the million other places it threatened to go. But not yet. There would be time enough for all of the fear and anxiety to have its say. For now, she was just going enjoy the moment.

Regina felt Emma’s legs relax, and her arms slowly trace down her back. She expected her to say something, and was surprised when instead those hands continued down and grasped her ass firmly. She gasped and looked up. Emma’s eyes were once again filled with lust, and Regina felt her own desire spike in answer.

“I want to taste you, too,” said Emma. She pulled on Regina’s ass again. “Will you come up here and let me do that?”

When she understood what Emma meant, Regina didn’t bother answering, but clambered up so she was on all fours, straddling Emma’s face. Emma groaned and pulled at her thighs. It was intoxicating, really, the way Emma wanted her. Regina gladly complied and lowered herself down. Emma licked her once, slowly, and they both once again moaned at this first contact. When Emma began sucking on her in earnest, Regina couldn’t stop the string of breathy noises that poured out of her lips. Her body sang with pleasure, and the memory of the powerful magic she’d anchored with her last orgasm filled her with a warmth beyond the heat of her desire. This was everything good in the world, right at this moment.

She came quickly, but really didn’t want the sensation to end, so she stayed where she was. Emma got the hint and slowly caressed her until she was ready to get worked back up again. When she came a second time, she fell to the side, finally spent.

Emma sat up long enough to pull a sheet up over them from the floor where it had fallen, then came back and molded herself into Regina’s back, pulling her close. She kissed her neck and lay her head back down. Regina thought about saying something, but before she could decide what to say, her energy seemed to disappear, and she gratefully closed her eyes and went to sleep.


	5. I Want You Both

Regina awoke the next morning and for a moment didn’t know where she was. She looked at the unfamiliar surroundings until catching sight of Emma’s arm, still draped over her belly. She went rigid and held her breath. The golden haze of the night before had vanished, leaving her sick with worry. What had they done? Emma had effectively just cheated on her husband with her. Despite earlier promises, there was no way they’d be able to go back to the easy relationship they’d cultivated.

She felt Emma stir, and stayed as still as possible, not ready to confront reality with her just yet.

“Regina?” Emma brushed at her hair tenderly, leaving Regina’s stomach in knots as she fought her instinct to lean into the gentle touch.

Emma tried again. “Regina? We should get up soon. Are you awake?”

Regina answered “yes,” but still didn’t move.

“Hey.” Emma sat up and tried to roll her towards her. “Are you OK? Talk to me.”

Regina stayed where she was, but decided to answer. “No, I’m not OK. I just wanted help with my magic, and now we’ve gone and ruined everything.” She blinked back tears as Emma put a hand gently on her back. The touch was reassuring in its simplicity, but that only made it worse.

“We haven’t ruined everything, Regina,” said Emma, much too calmly in Regina’s opinion. “Regina, look at me.”

Regina gave in and rolled over, careful to cover herself with the sheet.

“You don’t have to be ashamed of what we did. And it worked, didn’t it?”

Regina stared at her. “Well, yes, it worked. But we didn’t stop there, did we?! We kept going and…” she trailed off, unsure why Emma was so calm about all of this, and therefore unable to explain why she wasn’t.

“Regina’s it’s OK. I know that things will shift between us for a while, but I meant what I said last night – we’ve never had a simple relationship, but we’ve always made it work. And we’ll continue to do that going forward.”

Regina sat up. “But I… you cheated on Hook. With me! That’s not the kind of thing you just move on from.”

“Is that what’s bothering you? Regina, Killian knew exactly what I had planned for last night. We talked about it days ago when I first came across the idea.”

“But after, Emma! Did he agree to let me fuck you a few more times, too?” Regina couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice. She was too hurt, too scared of what she had to lose.

But she was completely unprepared for Emma’s answer: “Well, he kind of did, actually.”

“What?” Regina spluttered, shocked and still angry.

Emma took her hand and rubbed her fingers over the inside of her wrist. “A few months after we got married, Killian and I took a weekend to just … tell each other everything. Air all the secrets, you know? After almost losing each other over both of our tendencies to keep things hidden, we decided we needed to do things differently. And one of the things we talked about was you.”

Regina stared at her and tried to quiet her mind to be able to really listen to this.

Emma continued, “You and I have been through some shit together, Regina, and eventually that brought us really close. And when I started telling Killian about the relationship you and I have, he recognized that it’s much more than friendship.”

Regina’s eyes widened. Where the hell was this going?

“I mean, we got really good at co-parenting, and then we became friends, and now, well, you’re really important to me, Regina.”

Regina looked at her. Her words felt like balm to her aching heart, but she couldn’t bring herself to trust them. “What are you saying, Emma?” she asked quietly.

“I’m saying … Look, here’s the thing. I ran from love and real connection for a really long time, and now that I’ve learned to trust people and let them in, I want all of that I can get. So when Killian and I talked about you, we came to a kind of understanding, that you have a real and deep place in my life, and it’s different from what I have with him, but no less important. And he gets that, and is happy to see me have that. Really he’s been the one encouraging me to explore the connection we have. It’s why we invited you to dinner last week, and why we were totally happy to have you sleep over.

“So when this sex magic thing came up, he and I agreed that it would be OK if that became part of our relationship as well. So it’s not like I planned it, but I guess I wasn’t totally surprised that we kept going after the spell last night.”

Emma stopped talking and looked at her hopefully. Regina couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. Her mind went blank for a moment, and then a million questions rushed in at once. She thought for a minute, and one question quickly rose to the top of the list.

“Why the hell didn’t you say something earlier?”

Emma looked down as Regina continued, her voice getting stronger as she talked. “I’ve been tearing myself to pieces for months over my feelings for you, and you’re telling me not only that you feel the same way, but that you cleared a path for us to act on it?!”

Regina could feel the hysteria build, and she made no effort to stop it. “You didn’t think to explain any of this to me before we had sex last night? Even though it was for a spell, you didn’t think that maybe I was worried about you cheating on your husband to help me with my magic? I expended so much energy last night trying to get my brain to stop thinking so I could actually be present in my body so the spell would work. And you’re telling me I didn’t have to worry about it?!”

She stopped to catch her breath, trembling a little. Emma looked up at her with those big green eyes full of remorse, and Regina felt her heart lurch.

“I’m sorry,” Emma whispered. “You’re right, I should have told you. I guess I just … got caught up in things yesterday.”

Regina huffed and sat back against the headboard, suddenly keenly aware that they were having this conversation, this fight, naked in Emma and Hook’s bed.

“And what about before, Emma? When we had those moments together on the ship? I was so confused by that, because it felt like I was on a date with the two of you, and then you kept touching me. And it was so good, and everything I wanted, and I felt like I shouldn’t be enjoying it, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.”

She sighed, the anger dying back after she’d said her piece. “You should have said something, Emma,” she finished quietly.

Emma’s shoulders slumped forward. “I’m sorry. I guess that was pretty unfair to start acting on things before I talked to you.”

They sat silently for a minute, and then both jumped when Emma’s phone rang. She glanced at it, then up at Regina apologetically, and answered.

“Hey, babe.”

Great, it was Hook calling.

“Yes, it went well. It worked.”

She looked at Regina. “Can we meet up with you guys later? … No, we’re both fine, just need some time to process. … OK I’ll call you then. Love you.”

She hung up and tossed the phone onto the bedside table before returning to sit next to Regina, careful not to touch her. She took a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry, Regina. I just wanted to get closer to you, and I guess I didn’t think about how it would seem to you. Can you forgive me?”

Regina looked at her. “You know I don’t forgive easily,” she said stonily.

Emma nodded curtly. “I know.”

They sat in silence for a minute before Emma spoke up again. “I know I’ll need to earn your forgiveness, but please let me. I … you mean a lot to me, Regina.”

Regina thought back to all the times Emma had felt like more than a friend, all the times she’d brushed her hair out of her face or held her arm longer than necessary. All the times they’d come to each other for advice or solace. It certainly was a relief to know that she wasn’t making it up, that Emma really did all the things she’d noticed. And it hurt, that Emma had talked it out with Hook but not thought to talk it out with her.

So she said so: “we are more than friends, Emma. Have been for quite a while. And it hurts that you talked about all of this with Hook and not with me. If you really want us to have a close and connected relationship, you have to include me in it.”

Emma nodded. “I see that now,” she whispered.

After a beat she seemed to internalize what Regina had said and added, “That sounds like you want this to continue.”

Regina turned away for a moment. Of course she wanted this to continue. She was happiest when Emma was around, and her body cried out to be touched and held by her again. But it was so much, so scary. And then she thought of the spell they’d enacted the night before. The way that Emma’s magic had run through her veins, supporting her own without taking over. You can’t make something like that work unless there’s total trust between the two people. And yes, this revelation felt like a betrayal, but it was also an admission that Emma cared for her more than she’d known. And wasn’t she trying to do things differently now? Before the barrier spell messed things up she’d enjoyed a hard-won balance of dark and light, and with it the ability to forgive herself and others for their wrongs. She believed that, didn’t she? That forgiveness was a part of being in relationship?

She reached out and took Emma’s hand. “Yes, I want this continue. I want it more than you know. And I’m still hurt and I’m still angry about how you went about it. So give me some time.” She caressed Emma’s fingers lightly. “I’ll let it go. But I need some time.”

“Of course! And Regina?” Emma brought her hand to Regina’s cheek and looked into her eyes. “I hear you. I’m sorry I left you so confused these past few weeks. I won’t do that again.”

Regina nodded.

“Can I kiss you?” Emma asked.

Regina hesitated.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Emma started to turn away, but Regina stopped her and pulled her into a kiss. She brought her hands up to Emma’s face, and when they pulled their lips apart, she whispered, “Thank you for asking. I want this. I want you. I’m going to come back. I just need some time alone to think.”

“Take all the time you want,” said Emma, and kissed her again.

They got up and got dressed, and Emma walked Regina to the door. Emma kissed her one more time at the door, and Regina knew that while she did need time to think, she’d be back soon.


	6. Connection

Regina stepped out of the shower, stopping in the middle of the bathroom and just standing, lost in thought. It had been three days since the spell with Emma, and her revelation about … Regina didn’t even know what to call it. Actually she didn’t want to call it anything, because giving it a name would make it more real.

She grabbed her towel and dried herself off, the sense memories of that night bubbling up again unbidden. It had been an incredible night, and frankly everything she’d been daydreaming about for months. And if Hook and Emma were happy to let their relationship take this direction, then really, who was she to argue?

She sighed. Yes, but. What would this look like to Henry? To Snow and Charming? The town was too small to keep something like this a secret forever. And there’s no way people would understand. Hell, at this moment she didn’t even understand it. This was a really bad idea. She should end it before it got started – make Emma see reason.

As she got dressed, though, she thought about how it felt to have her magic mingling with Emma’s, and what Emma had said– they had a real connection already. And she was right when she’d said they had been more than “just friends” for quite some time. She didn’t know what they were, but she also knew this relationship wasn’t something she was prepared to just walk away from. So didn’t she owe it to herself to give this a try? Didn’t she deserve this kind of happiness?

She sat roughly on the edge of the bed, tossing her hair brush aside. That was the root of the problem, really. A part of her still believed that she would never be allowed to have the things, the people that made her happy. And this … opportunity with Emma? Well, as much as she wanted it, she could count a hundred ways it could go terribly wrong, and given her track record, it probably would. Was it worth the risk? Well, maybe, she thought, picking up the brush again.

Before she got any farther in her thought process, though, she was suddenly hit with an overwhelming surge of unstable dark magic. It tugged at her core as she gasped and tried to rein it in. But as she probed at it, she couldn’t feel it in the usual places. It felt like she was being drained of warmth, and she felt oddly empty and … cold. “Emma!” she said aloud.

Regina scrambled for her phone, her pulse racing as the line rang and rang and finally went to Emma’s voicemail. With a frustrated groan she hung up and called Hook, who answered on the second ring.

“Regina! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

She cut in: “Hook! I think Emma’s in trouble, and she’s not answering her phone. Do you know where she is?”

“Aye, she went out to the woods to practice magic. What happened? Is she alright?”

“I don’t know yet. I felt something go wrong with her magic, but I can’t tell what. Do you know where in the woods?”

“No I don’t. Dammit, I shouldn’t have let her go off alone with all the trouble you two have been having with magic lately. Can you find her?”

“I think so. We’ll do a locator spell. Meet me at the toll bridge with something of hers. We’ll start there.”

Regina hung up and was halfway out the door before she realized that they hadn’t questioned that they would work together. Even a year ago, each would probably have jumped into action alone, and now she didn’t even consider going without him. She filed that thought away and concentrated on the task at hand.

 

Hook showed up two minutes after Regina, with Emma’s favorite sweater in hand. Regina knew where Emma kept her supply of locator potions at the Sherriff station, and had been able to poof in to grab one and get out before anyone noticed or asked questions. Teaming up with Hook was one thing. Calling the whole family before they knew what was happening was quite another.

Regina greeted Hook with a nod, and held out her hand for the sweater. She poured the potion on it, and they both watched as it hovered above their heads before taking off down the path. They raced after it, Regina looking down at the uneven to keep from stumbling, trusting Hook to keep an eye on their guide.

“Emma!” he shouted, as the enchanted sweater slowed its progress.

“Killian?! I’m over here!” Emma’s response was muffled. When they reached the top of the hill and looked down the ridge, they saw why. She was sprawled face down on the ground amidst a pile of rubble, her right leg trapped under a boulder. They both shouted her name and ran down to her.

Hook ran to grab the hand she reached out, reassuring her that they were here and were going to get her out. Regina glanced around at the wreckage of trees and rocks.

“Hook, watch out. I’m going to get the rocks off her.”

He nodded and bent to protect Emma’s head with his arms. Regina flicked her wrist to move the boulder and debris, making sure to send it flying away from them. She heard Emma whimper as the weight came off her leg. She ran over to crouch beside her, laying a hand gently on her leg.

“Emma! Can you feel my hand?”

Emma nodded, but she was clearly in a lot of pain.

“OK, don’t move. I’m going to try to heal your injuries.”

Regina looked pointedly at Hook, who dutifully moved aside to give her more space. She pulled her magic up, careful to keep it mostly light, and set about healing Emma’s broken bones and lacerated skin. When she finished she was satisfied to hear Emma sigh with relief. Hook helped her sit up.

“Better?” asked Regina.

“Much.”

“Be careful, though. You’ll probably still be very sore.”

Emma nodded, and let them help her up to standing. She sagged a little, but recovered, leaning her weight on Hook’s shoulder.

“I’ll get us home,” said Regina, and without waiting for a response, enveloped them with magic and brought them back to Emma’s house. She and Hook got her into bed, left her some water, and tiptoed out of the room when she fell asleep almost instantly.

“Thank you for finding her, Regina,” said Hook when they’d gotten downstairs.

Regina nodded, not sure what to say. Another few moments of awkward silence passed, and then Hook spoke up again.

“Look, I know you two haven’t quite figured things out between you, but I just want you to know that I’m really grateful that she has you in her life. You’re good for each other, I think, and she’s always calmer when she’s had time doing magic with you.”

Regina’s mind went blank. Not that she didn’t believe Emma when she’d said that Hook was supportive, but there was something about hearing him say it himself that sunk in on a different level. She managed to choke out a simple “thank you,” and excused herself before she fell to pieces right there in front of him. He saw her out with a promise to call if anything changed.

Regina arrived home and hugged Henry for too long before telling him what happened. She reassured him that Emma was fine, although she didn’t quite believe it herself. So she was secretly grateful that he was the one who suggested they make dinner to take over to his other mother. Regina had kept her distance these past few days to give herself time to think, but watching Emma get hurt pushed all thoughts aside except that she wanted her close and well cared-for.

So an hour later they arrived at Emma’s door with armfuls of food. Hook walked them into the kitchen and disappeared. Emma had just woken up, he told them, and he wanted to go check on her. Regina pulled down plates and utensils – she ate here often enough that she knew where everything was. She set everything on the counter, not sure if they’d all eat together or take it in shifts. But then Hook and Emma came down the stairs together, and Henry was fussing over her and making sure she didn’t exert herself, so Regina moved dinner to the living room, where they could all settle in comfortably.

When they’d sat down and started eating, Regina ventured a real look at Emma. She looked fine, in fact. A little pale maybe, but none the worse for wear. She let out her tension a few more degrees and happily joined in the conversation, which had turned to speculation about the upcoming town council elections. After dinner, nobody wanted to move, so they settled in to watch a movie. Henry decided they needed something relaxing, like Star Wars, and Regina didn’t even bother to argue. She knew she’d be out-numbered on it anyway.

As she sat there, she watched Emma out of the corner of her eye. Emma and Henry were on the couch, with Hook in the armchair to Emma’s right, and Regina in the chair on the other side of Henry. Emma had her arm on the couch behind Henry, not touching him, but close enough that he knew she was there. Emma was great with Henry this way – letting him be a teenage boy who didn’t want to cuddle with his mother, while also acknowledging that their teenage boy was still a sensitive and loving kid, and wanted to feel loved and protected.

Regina smiled to herself, all of her complicated feelings about Emma fading away in this moment, subsumed by this feeling of family, of connection and home and warmth. She looked up to see Hook watching her watch Emma. She blushed fiercely and started to look away, but he just nodded at her, and when she nodded back, he winked at her with a genuine smile. She smiled shyly back at him, and then turned back to the movie.

Somewhere in the middle of the second movie, Henry started yawning furiously, and finally tilted his head back on the couch. Emma prodded him.

“Hey, kid. Why don’t you head upstairs to bed?”

He looked at Regina to make sure this was OK. She just nodded at him, and he kissed his mothers, gave Hook a quick side hug, and slumped up the stairs to his room. Emma turned off the movie, and Regina was about to get up to leave when Hook stood up and announced he was going to clean up the kitchen. He leaned over to kiss Emma’s head, saying “I’ll leave you two to talk for a while.” She smiled at him as he went, and then turned her smile on Regina.

“Hey,” said Emma, scooting to the side of the couch closer to Regina. “How are you?”

Regina squirmed in her seat. She knew that Emma was going to ask her for an answer about their relationship, and she still had no idea what to say. So she deflected.

“I’m fine. We should really talk about what happened today, though, with your magic.”

Emma sat back and narrowed her eyes. “We should. But we should also talk about when you’re going to give me an answer.”

Regina cringed. She really didn’t want to be put on the spot like this. Emma shifted closer to her and continued, her tone softening, “I’m sorry to push you on this Regina. I know you needed time to think, but I have to know. You can tell me either way, I’m just … there’s so much going on right now, with our magic, and I need to know how to approach you while we figure this out. Because you’re right – we do need to talk about what happened today. But I need to know where we are with each other, first.”

She reached out a hand, and then swiftly pulled it back, changing her mind mid-motion. Regina’s heart ached at this gesture. She looked at Emma. Her eyes were pleading but her body was language carefully neutral, clearly giving Regina the opportunity to answer either way, while making it clear what she wanted. And something about this care for her well-being made Regina do what she seemed to do with Emma a lot these days – trust her.

“I know, Emma. And I want to give you an answer. But honestly I don’t even know what saying yes would mean.”

Emma reached out and this time didn’t stop herself from grabbing Regina’s hand. “That’s something we’d have to figure out together. And saying yes to me now doesn’t mean we’d jump right into anything. We’d need to talk about a lot of things, probably with Killian, too. But Regina, I know we could make it work.”

Regina looked at her. “I just don’t want this to hurt Henry,” she whispered.

Emma squeezed her hand. “It won’t. We won’t let it. You and I have worked so hard to put him first and do what’s best for him. And I’d like to think we’ve gotten pretty good at it. That doesn’t change just because our relationship changes.”

Regina nodded and placed her free hand over Emma’s. She looked down, the question she wanted to ask floating just out of reach, until she gathered her courage and pulled it down. “What if it doesn’t work? What would happen to our family?”

Regina felt Emma’s hand pull her chin up, and she reluctantly raised her eyes to meet Emma’s. She fought against her instinct to lash out, pull away, stop this madness right now. She knew that instinct was just fear talking, but it was talking so loudly it almost sounded like truth.

“Regina,” said Emma, her voice surprisingly stern. “This isn’t some whim I’m indulging, and I don’t think it is for you either. And because we’re not taking it lightly, I trust that whatever happens, we will handle it like adults and make things work. Regina, I’m closer to you than anyone except my husband, and there are things that you and I share that he and I never will. What we have is already real, and not simple, and we’ve had to work for it. What I want, what I’m asking for you to consider, is to deepen that connection, and to let it grow. Yes, I want it to be physical, but I also just want to have permission to lean into how I feel about you.”

Regina knew she was about to cry as she asked, “Which is how?”

“How do I feel about you?” Emma placed a hand on her cheek. “Like I want to know everything about you. I see the passion and the fierce love you have, and I want to understand how it drives you, and what it feels like to have it directed at me.”

Emma stopped, and Regina let the tears fall from her eyes freely. She had no idea Emma wanted her like that. And she knew that she wanted Emma the same way, despite all of her attempts to disguise it as something else. There was some spark, some connection between them that didn’t make any kind of sense, but also couldn’t be denied. And to hear it coming from Emma, how could she say no to that?

Emma brushed her tears away and tugged on her hand, murmuring “come here.” Regina got up and moved next to her on the couch. They sat looking at each other for a moment, and Regina could feel her whole being reacting to their proximity. Her physical, emotional, and magical self leaned towards Emma, and she realized that she already knew her answer.

She slowly brought their joined hands up to brush her lips across Emma’s fingers. “Yes,” she whispered. A slow smile spread across Emma’s face, and Regina knew she didn’t have to elaborate. She kissed Emma’s fingers again, not taking her eyes off the piercing green eyes watching her closely.

“Can I kiss you?” Emma asked softly.

Regina didn’t answer, she just leaned forward and brought their lips together. The kiss was slow and easy, their bodies fitting together like they already knew exactly how to. Emma pulled back to look at Regina, her smile quieter but eyes still dancing.

“I know there’s a lot to talk about,” she said. “About us, and about magic. But for right now, I’m just really really happy.”

Regina melted a little at her words and rubbed her hands up Emma’s thighs until she could wrap her arms around her waist to pull her close. “I’m happy too,” she murmured, kissing Emma lightly. “But we really should talk about what happened with your magic today. You really scared us.”

Emma stroked her cheek softly, and Regina’s eyes fluttered closed almost involuntarily. Emma chuckled at this reaction before replying more seriously. “I know. And I’m so glad you found me.” She looked up suddenly. “How did you find me? I didn’t even think to ask that before. How did you even know something was wrong?”

“I felt your dark magic go haywire,” said Regina simply.

“You did? How?”

“I’m not entirely sure. It was kind of like when the barrier spell was pulling dark magic out of us, but it was very clearly yours – it felt cold and empty, just like you’d described. And I just knew something was wrong. Hook and I found you pretty quickly with a locator spell.”

“That’s really weird.” Emma started to say something more, but was overtaken by a yawn. She smiled sheepishly at Regina. “I’m sorry. I’m still pretty wiped out after everything today. Can we save the theorizing for tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Regina kissed her cheek and stood up. Emma grabbed her hand as she turned away, though.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” she asked. Regina’s face must have shown her confusion, as she quickly added, “the couch is pretty comfortable, and I have lots of pillows and blankets.”

She rubbed a thumb over Regina’s hand. “I just don’t want you going home to an empty house and overthinking things.”

Regina smiled. “I won’t. I promise.”

She thought, but didn’t say, “And you offering that is exactly why I want this.”

Instead she offered, “How about I come over for breakfast and we can talk magic?”

Emma nodded and stood up, pulling Regina into a tight embrace. Neither said anything more, as there seemed to be nothing more to say.

***

When Regina got home, she took a long, hot shower, and let her mind wander. She did indeed try to overthink things, but as she looked at herself in the mirror, something shifted inside of her. She shook her head, wrapped herself in a bathrobe, and went immediately downstairs to her desk. She took out paper and a pen, and, after pausing for a moment, began to compose a letter to herself. She told herself all the reasons she’d said yes to Emma, all the reasons she felt pulled towards her, and all the reasons why this time she wasn’t going to walk away from happiness. She knew she’d need to read this letter over and over again, so when she was done she brought it upstairs and stashed it in her bedside table. There were still a hundred ways this could go wrong, but she was going to make damn sure her own self-sabotage wasn’t one of them.


	7. Investigation

The next morning when Regina showed up for breakfast, fruit salad in hand, the kitchen was bustling with activity. All three of them were working on making French toast, and it … wasn’t going very well. Regina poured herself a cup of coffee and sat back to watch, her eyes twinkling. Hook was clearly in charge, and Henry was doing a far better job than his mother at following directions. Emma caught Regina’s eye as she turned around, smiling broadly and winking. Regina blushed far deeper than she should have, which only made Emma’s grin wider. She lingered there for another moment, their gazes fixed together but not saying a word, until Henry called Emma back to the stove. Regina drank more of her coffee and tried to pull herself together.

Breakfast was just as loud and messy as the preparation, with Hook and Henry goofing off and making dumb jokes the whole time. Regina managed a few withering looks before she joined in the laughter. She had to admit it felt good to let down her guard like this, and more and more she was able to relax with her family and let things be disorderly. Honestly, it was good to see Henry laughing like this. He had grown up very quickly, and been through so much with all of them, that she treasured these moments where he got to act like a kid. Emma and Hook brought it out of him, and frankly her as well, and for that she would always be grateful.

When the dishes had been cleared and the kitchen cleaned as well as it was going to be, she and Emma sat down to talk magic, while Henry and Hook headed upstairs to get themselves ready to go out sailing.

“Alright,” Regina began. “Tell me everything that happened yesterday.”

Emma thought for a moment. “Well, I woke up around 7:30, and I think we made eggs for breakfast. Henry was off to school by 8, and…”

“Emma,” Regina warned. “We need to do this for real.”

Emma heaved a sigh that sounded exactly like Henry when he got like this, and when she repeated his favorite phrase, “you just don’t get it!” Regina realized that she was joking. She rolled her eyes and said, “Like son, like mother,” her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Emma laughed. “Sorry, couldn’t resist. He gave me that ‘you don’t get me’ speech this morning when I tried to ask him about this girl he clearly has a crush on. Just thought I’d share the misery with you.”

She looked behind her to make sure nobody else was downstairs, and leaned in to kiss Regina’s cheek quickly. Regina felt her annoyance evaporate, replaced immediately by affection, and smiled softly. Emma placed a hand over hers on the couch and sighed.

“Alright. Let’s do this.” Her tone was all business now. “I’d been noticing a pull on my dark magic for a couple of days, kind of like before, but nowhere near as strong. So I figured my balance must be off, like yours was in the other direction. So I went into the woods to practice using only dark magic, to kind of jump-start it. Well, the first spell I tried just didn’t work at all, and the second one, well, you saw the result of that.”

“What spells did you try?”

“The first one was just teleporting, and it didn’t work.”

“As in, you didn’t move, or you went to the wrong place?”

“I didn’t move.”

“Hmmmm. And the second one?”

“The simplest thing. I tried to light a fire.”

Regina thought for a moment. “The explosion that trapped you – was it fire?”

Emma shook her head. “That’s what was so weird. It didn’t work either. I tried to light a fire, and instead I got blown back and this wave of energy just exploded beside me.”

Regina narrowed her eyes as she put together the pieces. “When did this start, the pulls on your dark magic?”

“I don’t know, a couple of days ago.”

“Was it right after our spell with my light magic?”

Emma looked at her sharply. “Maybe. I didn’t notice it until later, but maybe.”

Regina was silent for a moment. Emma sounded worried when she asked, “Why? Do you think we somehow messed up my balance by fixing yours?”

“It’s possible.”

“Well, what can I do about it?”

Regina laughed softly. “Patience, Miss Swan. I’m still putting together a theory.” She placed a hand on Emma’s knee. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

Just then the boys came bounding down the stairs and shouted a farewell as they disappeared out the door. Regina shook her head. “What the hell did you feed them this morning that made them so energetic?”

Emma laughed. “I have no idea. 20 bucks says Henry crashes first, and Hook has to deal with the sullen teenager all the way home.”

“I’ll take that bet,” said Regina, smiling. “I say Hook turns into the sullen teenager and Henry drags him home early so he doesn’t have to keep listening to him.”

Emma stuck out her hand. “It’s a bet.”

They laughed as they shook on it, and then didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Regina turned Emma’s hand over and bent to kiss her palm. She looked up to see Emma’s eyelids heavy at the tender touch.

“I have an idea,” said Regina.

“Mmmm, does it involve kissing me like that again?”

Regina raised her eyebrows. “I meant an idea about magic.”

“Oh.” Emma looked sheepish, and Regina’s insides twisted with the desire to give in and kiss her again, and again. But she knew they had to deal with this before it got any worse. Besides, there was plenty of time for that. Now that was a wonderful thought; that she would get to kiss and cuddle with Emma many more times. Magic, she thought sternly. We’re here to discuss magic.

She squared her shoulders and tried to look serious while she took one of Emma’s hands in both of hers. “Now, go ahead and ignite a flame with your light magic.”

Emma concentrated, and a small wisp of flame appeared above her palm. Regina probed at it to see if she could feel anything amiss. She didn’t, so she instructed Emma to let it go. Then she asked her to do the same with dark magic, and braced herself. But nothing happened. No flame appeared, no explosions rocked the house. Emma tried again, and this time Regina felt her own dark magic respond, and a flame appeared above Emma’s hand. She looked at her.

“I wonder….” Regina took her hands away, and the flame disappeared.

“Try again now.”

Emma nodded and tried to ignite the flame. Nothing happened. Again she tried. Again, nothing. On the third try, Regina reached in and gently touched her hand as she worked, and the flame sprouted with ease.

“What the hell?” said Emma. “I can’t do dark magic unless you’re touching me?”

“Maybe,” said Regina, thinking hard. “I think it’s more complicated than that, though. Here, try this.” She took Emma’s hand again and pushed her light magic into. She nodded to Emma to ignite the flame. Nothing happened. Regina switched to pushing dark magic into her, and the flame burst to life.

“Huh. It’s like you’re channeling my dark magic to access your own.”

“Is that why you could feel it when something when wrong?”

“Must be. Hmmm, OK, this is starting to come into focus. Try one more thing for me. Try to physically draw my magic into you while you light the flame.”

Emma closed her eyes. The flame burst to life, and a small shockwave went out from their hands. Regina quickly counter-acted it and checked to make sure Emma was alright. She was fine, but intensely frustrated.

“What the fuck is going on, Regina? Does this make any sense to you?”

Regina placed a soothing hand on Emma’s knee. “It’s starting to. I think that the shockwave we just felt was your dark magic reacting against mine. And when you tried to light a fire in the forest, you were thinking about heat and flame, which characterizes my magic. Perhaps you did actually access my magic, in fact, which is why I could feel yours at the same moment.”

“I mean, yeah, that sounds right, but it still doesn’t actually make sense. How is our dark magic connected, especially when I’m miles away from you?”

Regina gasped, understanding dawning on her. “Gold’s spell. He tied us to the town’s magic, but he also tied us together. More powerfully than we’d realized, I’d say.”

“Then why isn’t he showing up every time one of us uses dark magic?”

“That I’m not quite sure about. Although, maybe he knows exactly what’s going on but just didn’t want to discuss it with us.”

Emma nodded. “That’s totally possible. Alright, so that tells us why you could feel what happened to me, and why things exploded. It doesn’t tell us why I can’t seem to use my dark magic on my own.”

Regina thought for a moment. “No, it doesn’t. I need to do some research. There’s got to be something written about this.”

Emma smiled at her.

“What?”

“You’re adorable when you’re concentrating on your research.”

Regina blushed furiously and looked down, embarrassed that Emma would think about her in such a way, but also secretly pleased.

“That is neither here nor there,” she said, although she couldn’t keep the smile out of her voice.

Emma scooted closer to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in a gesture that Regina was coming to realize was her way of expressing affection. She leaned her cheek into Emma’s hand.

“Can we take a break?” asked Emma quietly.

Regina nodded, so thoroughly distracted by their physical connection that she couldn’t have continued to brainstorm if she wanted to.

“Can I kiss you?”

Regina smiled. “Yes.”

Emma kissed her softly, their lips meeting and holding together for a precious moment before opening to each other as tongues and teeth met and explored and nipped and sucked. They pulled apart after a long while, both out of breath and grinning widely.

Regina leaned her weight forward and hummed into Emma’s neck. “You know you don’t have to keep asking if you can kiss me. If we’re alone, you can just do it.”

Emma pulled her head back and sought out Regina’s gaze. “That’s good to know. But I’m probably going to keep doing it for a while. I don’t want to push us into anything to fast, and I want to make sure you’re OK with where we are.”

Regina’s heart glowed, and she looked down. Emma’s care for her quieted the anxieties that crept up about their situation. Once again she reminded herself of that letter she’d written with all the things she wanted out of this relationship, all the things she dreamed it could be. Because there were just as many ways for this to be wonderfully satisfying as there were ways for it to go terribly wrong. And just once, she’d like to focus on those possibilities, and not wait for the inevitable catastrophe.

Regina didn’t have any idea how to put all of that into words, so she simply whispered, “Thank you,” and pulled Emma into her arms. They held each other for a long moment, and then Regina shook herself and sat back.

“Well, let’s head to my vault and do that research that turned you all affectionate. Maybe I’ll even let you help.” She winked, and was gratified to see Emma grin in response. She did very much enjoy getting to flirt like this.

 

***

Regina paged through a book and stopped, her eye catching something interesting. As she read, it was as if the puzzle pieces fell into place and she could see the whole thing.

“Emma,” she whispered. When there was no response, she looked up to see the woman in question dozing in the corner. Regina looked at her watch. They’d been here for almost two hours, and at some point she had completely tuned out everything happening around her to concentrate fully on the task at hand, honestly relieved to have that ability to focus again. She’d left Emma to fend for herself, and clearly she was not cut out for this kind of deep dive research. Regina smiled softly at her, noting the way her hair fell lightly across her knees, which were tucked up in front of her. She narrowed her eyes, though, as she realized that normally Emma would have gotten antsy and interrupted her or left to go do something else. She must still be exhausted from the accident yesterday. This worried Regina, even though she knew better than anyone how long it took to fully recover from something like that. It’s just that Emma was usually so resilient.

As if she could hear her thoughts, Emma stirred and blinked up at her.

“Did I fall asleep?”

Regina came and sat next to her, brushing her hair away from her face. “I guess so. I got so engrossed I didn’t even notice that you’d gotten quiet.”

Emma smirked at her sleepily. “Is that comment on how loud I usually am?”

“Why, Miss Swan, I hope to find out exactly how loud you usually are.”

Emma blushed as she laughed. She caressed Regina’s arm and replied, “Oh, I hope so, too.”

Well, maybe she was fine after all. Regina stood up, offering a hand to Emma and leading her over to the book she’d left open. “I found something. I was thinking about how right from the beginning of all of this, our dark magic seemed to be related. Remember? That night on the ship, you were cold and I was hot, and they seemed to cancel each other out when we touched each other.”

Emma nodded, peering over Regina’s shoulder at the book, which was likely incomprehensible to her.

“Well then I read this.” Regina pointed to a section on the page. “It’s a theory about dark magic, and how it’s all sourced from the same place, but takes on the characteristics of the person who wields it. And I wonder if you’re not able to access your dark magic now because for the first time it’s actually yours.”

Emma looked at her blankly. “What do you mean it’s actually mine? I was the Dark One. I used dark magic in more ways than I can count.”

“Yes, but don’t you see? It wasn’t properly your magic that you were using. It was the Dark One’s magic. And Emma, your light magic is so strong, that the darkness really never took shape in you, other than to mimic the shape it already had. I think that’s why it felt so cold and empty to you. Like you felt the absence of light, rather than the dark itself.”

Emma leaned down on the counter and rested her chin on her hands. “Huh. I suppose that makes some sense. So when I’m trying to access my dark magic, it’s not working because I don’t know what it actually feels like?”

Regina nodded eagerly. “And this is where it all fell into place for me. When Rumple tied our magic together with the town’s, all of a sudden you had access to my magic, and his. His is the Dark One’s, and probably feels familiar. So probably when you’ve been using dark magic, you’ve actually been accessing that without knowing it. But when we tied our light magic together, you got more attuned to me, and you started to try to access my dark magic.”

Emma’s face lit up with understanding. “But I was trying to use it like the Dark One’s magic, and it’s not the same. So it backfired!”

She grabbed Regina’s arm. “You’re a fucking genius, you know that?”

Regina rolled her eyes, but it didn’t have quite the effect she was going for as she was also grinning from ear to ear.

Emma’s face fell and she shook her head. “But wait. Does that mean I’ve never accessed my own dark magic? Do I have my own?”

“You must, otherwise Gold’s spell to bind us to the barrier wouldn’t have worked.”

Emma thought for a moment. “I think I just don’t really understand how magic works, actually.”

Regina laughed. “That’s because you used magic intuitively before you were ever taught it. So the magic you use is the magic you were born with.”

“Savior magic.”

“Exactly. But remember, magic is magic, and you were born with the potential for both light and dark. Which means that the ability to work dark magic is in you.”

Emma started to pace. “So, does this mean I have to re-learn how to do this? I mean, that spell is going to keep pulling at me until I keep my dark magic balanced with my light, right? So I need to learn how to access my own dark magic, without accidentally pulling from yours or Gold’s?”

“I think so.”

Emma stopped in the middle of the room and turned towards her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“I just … if I’ve never used it for real before, what if I can’t control it?”

Regina smiled. “Then we’ll do some sex magic to stabilize it.”

Emma stared at her for a moment before her mouth curled up into a smile. “OK, good point. So you’ll teach me?”

“Yes, Emma I’ll teach you. Although I imagine your mother may have a heart attack when she finds out that I’m teaching you dark magic.”

Emma laughed and pulled Regina into her arms. “It is pretty funny that this is where we ended up, after all those years fighting the darkness.”

Regina sighed. “Funny is one word for it.”

Emma hummed and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for figuring out what’s going on. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Regina brought a hand up to Emma’s face and smiled at her. She leaned in and kissed her deeply, their bodies pressing together tightly before breaking apart reluctantly. They were due back at Emma’s to meet up with Henry and Hook, and Regina insisted that they not arrive late and disheveled. Emma pouted until Regina kissed the pout off her face, promising to make it up to her the next time they had time together. This seemed to placate her, and they packed up to go back to their family. They still had a bet to settle as to who annoyed whom on the sailing trip.


	8. First Fight

The next few weeks saw Regina blossoming open as her relationship with Emma deepened. It was as if she’d found the missing piece of the puzzle in her life; the affection and touch, and yes, sex helped her open up and settle into herself. Not to say it wasn’t hard. For one thing, she’d forgotten what it felt like to lie to people all the time. While there was something exciting about sharing this secret with Emma, it was hard not to feel like she was hiding something shameful. Some days she’d feel full of light and hope, and other days she’d be dragged down by worry and confusion over her situation. Of course the rest of her life was going just fine, but somehow whatever she was feeling about Emma had a tendency to take over her thoughts.

When Regina took a step back and thought about her life, sometimes all she could do was laugh. She was currently standing in a field with The Savior, who she was sleeping with, teaching her how to use dark magic. Ridiculous. Or rather, she was trying to teach her to use dark magic. After nearly a month, Emma still couldn’t get a hold of it. Every now and then she’d make progress, only to have it quite literally blow up in her face the next time she tried. Both of them were frustrated to the point of wanting to give up, but they kept at it.

Regina had tried the academic approach, but Emma very quickly reminded her that that hadn’t worked the first time she’d tried to teach her magic, and it certainly wasn’t going to work now. So they’d moved on to trying to coax her dark magic out of her. At the moment, Regina was in fact conjuring fireballs and tossing them in Emma’s general direction to try to get her to match the energy. She didn’t think it would work, but at this point she’d try just about anything.

One of her fireballs got a little too close, and singed Emma’s jacket as it went past.

“Regina! Watch it!” Emma complained as she jumped back.

“You watch it!” she snapped back. “You’re supposed to be reacting to them, not just watching them pass by.” Regina could feel her frustration rippling upwards, and she tried to get a hold of herself. Emma’s whining didn’t help.

“Face it, Regina, it’s not working.” Emma slumped down onto the hood of her car, which was parked on the edge of the clearing.

Regina followed her. “You can’t just give up, Emma! You have to be able to do this.”

“I know! I’m trying! It’s just not working. I’m starting to think Killian was right.” She grumbled this last bit to herself, but Regina heard her.

“Do tell, what wisdom has your pirate decided to impart about dark magic?”

Emma glared at her. “Oh come on, Regina, don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“He’s allowed to have opinions about this, even though he doesn’t do magic.”

“By all means, enlighten me.”

Emma huffed. “You know what, fine. He thinks you’re going about this all wrong. That there’s some reason I’m not accessing my dark magic, and instead of trying to beat it into me we should be figuring out why I’m not doing it on my own.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Sure. Soul searching will definitely help,” she said with every ounce of sarcasm she could muster. “Now tell me, who knows more about magic, me or him?”

Now Emma was angry. She stood up as she replied, “Of course you know more about magic, Regina, but he knows more about me, and I think it’s time I started to listen to that.”

Regina froze, the words sinking in and rousing every fear and anxiety about Emma and about their relationship that she’d ever had, bringing all of them right up to the surface. Her mind turned “Hook knows me better” into “you don’t know me at all,” and that was quickly followed by “you’re not really part of my life,” and “you don’t mean anything to me.” Regina struggled to take a breath as she took a few steps back.

When she did manage to inhale, it was just enough to choke out “Well then by all means, go figure it out with him. Clearly you don’t need me for anything.”

And with that she poofed away before she broke down any more.

She landed in her vault, and sank to the floor in tears. She wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened, but she did know that it seemed to confirm all of her fears and insecurities. Because really, what did Emma need her for? Magic was the only thing she had to offer that Hook didn’t. And to hear Emma say that she didn’t want even that, well, it made Regina feel like she’d been emptied of all warmth.

She curled into herself and sobbed, too upset to listen to the small corner of her mind that wondered if she’d over-reacted. As hard as she tried to focus on the positive, she’d still been waiting for the inevitable disaster, and Emma’s frustration with her today just confirmed what she’d assumed would happen eventually – that Emma had gotten sick of her.

All of a sudden a swirl of white smoke appeared in front of her. Emma looked around her before finding Regina sitting on the floor. She started to walk over to her, but Regina stood up and stopped her.

“What are you doing here, Emma?”

“Can we talk about what just happened?”

Regina couldn’t stop herself. “No! Get out! I don’t want to talk to you!” she yelled. And before she could think twice, she’d waved her hands and sent Emma back to the clearing. Her hands shook as she cast a quick protection spell around the vault, not wanting any other unexpected visitors.

She sank back down on the ground and finished crying. Eventually her breath evened out, and she sat up, pulling her knees to her chest. She put her head down and sat there as still as possible. What had happened today?

Regina eventually got herself up and out for a walk. While she wandered the woods, her emotions went from sadness to anger and back again. She raged at Emma, she raged at herself, she cried, and finally she came home, exhausted and mercifully unable to string together coherent thoughts anymore. Thankfully Henry was at Emma’s for the night, and Regina thought angrily about how Emma probably passed him off to Hook so she could sulk in her room. Or at least, Regina hoped she was sulking. She hoped Emma hadn’t just gone about her business as if everything were fine.

Regina made herself eat something and take a shower before she got into bed. It was only 8:30, but she couldn’t face any more of this day. She willed herself to go to sleep, and after a few hours of tossing and turning, she finally did.

 

***** 

 

In the morning, Regina woke up feeling foolish. Her brain had sorted through the events of the last 24 hours, and she couldn’t believe that she’d kicked Emma out of her vault when she’d chased her down like that. Leaving aside the fact that Emma had only asked to talk about things, at the time Regina hadn’t even wondered how Emma knew where to find her. The fact was, Regina always went to her vault when she was upset, and Emma probably knew that. That or she’d traced her with a locator potion, but Regina highly doubted that given how quickly she’d found her. Emma knew her so well, and probably hadn’t meant to say the thing that made Regina’s emotional landscape implode.

She rolled out of bed and grabbed her phone to text Emma before she did anything else:

<<I’m so sorry Emma. Can we talk?>>

She lay back on the pillows and put her phone down. She had just decided to get up and make coffee when it beeped at her.

<<Meet me at the docks in an hour. Usual bench by the water.>>

<<And thank you for texting me.>>

Regina breathed a sigh of relief. That sounded promising.

<<I’ll see you in an hour>> she responded, not wanting to get into anything over text.

 

Emma was already there when Regina walked down the dock to the bench closest to the water. She turned as Regina walked up and gave her a guarded smile.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Regina responded as she sat down, careful not to sit too close. She had no idea what Emma was thinking or feeling at this point.

Regina glanced over at her, and then back down at her lap. she had promised herself this morning that she would be honest, so she took a deep breath and started with an apology.

“I’m so sorry, Emma. I was really upset yesterday, but I should not have treated you like that. And I shouldn’t have run away, either.”

Emma’s shoulders visibly relaxed and she turned to face Regina. “Thank you,” she said softly. “And I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to be so dismissive of you, but I was, and I’m sorry.”

Regina’s breath caught in her throat as her hurt began to melt away just a bit. She didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded in acknowledgment of Emma’s apology.

“But Regina, can we talk about this?” Emma continued. “I don’t want you to run off every time we fight, or think that because I’m angry with you that I’m somehow done with you. I’m not just going to walk away from this, Regina. And besides, couples are supposed to fight – it’s how you know you’re being honest with each other and dealing with the things that matter.”

Regina bit her lip as she finally looked Emma in the eyes. “You think of us as a couple?” she asked timidly.

“Of course!” Emma hesitated. “Don’t you?”

“I… suppose so.” Regina shook her head. “I don’t know what I think we are to each other, but I guess whatever it is you could call us a couple.”

Emma shifted in her seat and looked away. “I know. I know this isn’t easy. And, well, if it’s getting to be too complicated, just tell me, OK?”

Regina instinctively grabbed Emma’s hand.

“No, Emma, it’s not that. I mean, yes, this is complicated and it’s really hard sometimes, but I like what we have. It’s just…” she sighed and reminded herself that she’d promised to be honest. “A part of me honestly doesn’t believe I’ll ever get to be happy. Or that I don’t deserve to be happy. And that part is always going to see the worst in things, and assume the worst from people, and make me hear what I expect to hear: that I’m not worth it.”

Emma started to say something, but Regina stopped her. “Wait. That’s what happened yesterday, and it’s why I got so upset. But it’s not the whole story. I’m trying really hard to focus on what’s good, and not what’s wrong. And I reminded myself of that this morning.”

Regina took her hand back from Emma, who had covered it with both of her own while she was talking. She closed her eyes for a moment and summoned the letter she kept in her bedside table. She unfolded it carefully and scooted closer to Emma so they could both read it.

“I wrote this letter to myself after our first night together. It’s supposed to remind me why I said yes to you, and what it could mean to let myself have this relationship.”

Emma scanned the letter quickly, but then looked up at her. “Read it to me?” she asked.

Regina swallowed hard but agreed.

“Regina,” she read, “You’re about to start something that could be the thing you’ve been missing in your life. Let it be that. There’s a reason you and Emma have been growing closer over the past few years, and there’s a reason you both want this. Let it grow into something even better than it already is.

“Emma understands you; she gets that the dark and broken parts will always be there, but that they don’t define you anymore. Emma makes you smile and laugh like you thought you never would again. Emma makes you feel welcomed and safe. Let her in.

“This relationship is complicated, but it’ll be worth figuring out if you let it. And it will be good for you to have someone like her. Someone who doesn’t need you to be any more than you are, and will fill the lonely places without taking up too much room.

“Remember that your happy ending is feeling at home in the world, and that you already do. This relationship is going to add to that, so let it be what it will be, and let yourself grow and change with it. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy.”

She finished and folded the letter into her pocket before looking at Emma. She was shocked to find her with tears in her eyes. Emma took her hand again and squeezed it firmly.

“You do deserve to be happy, Regina. And I feel so lucky that you want me to be part of that happiness.”

Regina looked down at their joined hands and ran a finger over Emma’s wrist. “I’ll try not to run next time,” she said quietly.

Emma smiled at her. “And I will make sure you know how much you mean to me.” She sought Regina’s eyes. “Promise me you’ll talk to me if something isn’t working between us.”

“I promise.” Regina looked down, gathering her strength to be brave one more time and ask for what she wanted. “Actually, there’s something that’s been on my mind.”

“Tell me.”

“I want you to sleep over sometimes. I want us to wake up together. That’s the one thing that always makes me jealous – when you go home at the end of an evening together and I’m left alone.”

Emma’s breath caught as she looked at her. “Of course,” she said quietly. “God, I feel like such an idiot for not suggesting that myself. I’ll need to talk with Killian about exactly how we want that to work, especially with Henry, but we’ll make it work. Thank you for telling me.”

Regina blinked back tears. When had she gotten so weepy?

“Can I hug you now?” Emma asked.

Regina laughed. “Yes. Please.” And they wrapped their arms around each other.


	9. Who We Are Together

It was a week later, almost 6 weeks into this relationship adventure, that Emma, Regina, and Hook finally all sat down together to talk about things. It was possibly the most awkward hour of Regina’s life, but even she agreed that it was worth doing. She was surprised to hear Hook express his concerns about Emma not telling him things that she’d told Regina. It was helpful to see that this was new and strange for all of them. Regina had felt like the intruder so often, but sitting down together helped her see that all of them were getting used to the new dynamics of their various relationships. There was something calming about being on the same page, even if that page was confusing as all hell. Really she was shocked that this worked at all, and yet every time she and Emma talked things through it seemed to work better and better.

After that intense conversation, Emma had decided that they all deserved a break, and she had also decided that that break would be out on a tiny, rickety sailboat on the harbor. Regina had agreed only after a truly impressive display of pleading and cajoling on Emma’s part, which Regina found utterly endearing, and ultimately irresistible. So here she was, stepping into what could charitably be called a sailboat, but looked a lot more like a hunk of plywood with a scrap of fabric tied to a stick.

“Why is it,” she said irritably, “that every time the three of us spend time together, we are in a boat? What is it with the two of you and watercraft?”

Hook and Emma looked at each other and laughed, and then looked at Regina holding onto the sides of boat and laughed harder. Emma moved to sit behind her, while Hook pushed them off the dock and pulled the rope in.

“Look, Regina,” said Emma casually, “If you fall for one of us, and I know you have, you have to learn to love being on the water.”

Regina swung her head around to glare at Emma, although she knew she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the same time, so she was sure the effect was lost on her. Emma had been throwing this kind of language into conversation all day, and Regina was loving it. She hadn’t realized how much keeping things secret made her feel more anxious about the relationship until she was in a space where she could talk about it openly, and everything felt easier. Hearing Emma talk about her like this to Hook felt even better.

“Besides,” Hook sat down in front of her and stretched his legs out, obviously very comfortable here, “I don’t think you should be Mayor of a seaside town if you don’t get out on the water every now and then.”

Regina rolled her eyes, and he laughed. “Fine. But next time we all get together, we’re doing something I want to do.”

“Such as?” Hook prompted.

“Sit by the fire and read a book?” Emma answered for her.

The two of them laughed at her again, but this time Regina relented and joined in.

“Why not?” She said. “That sounds like a perfectly lovely evening to me.”

Conversation carried on casually as they sailed out into the harbor. Once Regina got used to the rocking of the waves and had successfully learned to duck when Emma yelled out for her to do so, she found she could relax and enjoy the sunshine. And as much as she hated to admit it, she found herself really enjoying Hook’s company. She reminded herself that she and Hook weren’t in competition with each other. In fact if anything, they now had something very important in common, and that could bring them closer if she let it.

Regina gazed out at the water, a smile playing on her face. But then she noticed Hook nodding at Emma, and when she turned her head to look at Emma’s face, she could tell the two of them were up to something.

“Regina,” Emma said slowly, a teasing note in her voice.

“Whatever you’re planning, Miss Swan, I can tell I’m not going to like it.”

“Me? Planning something?” Emma exaggerated her incredulity.

“Yes, you. I know you, Swan.” Regina reached back and swatted at her knee. Emma grinned and grabbed her hand, squeezing it for a moment. Hook roared with laughter from the other end of the boat.

“Fine, I’m planning something. I want to teach you how to sail.”

“What?! No way.” Regina looked at Hook, who was grinning at her, too.

“Come on, Regina. Don’t tell me you’re scared?” She raised her eyebrows at him. If he really thought that would work…

But then Emma was climbing onto the seat next to her, and pulling Regina’s hand so she would switch places with her, and she had to do it, otherwise no one would be holding the sail lines, so in the spirit of self-preservation she moved back and sat down. Hook had moved up to sit next to Emma, his arm around her back, and they were both grinning at her with such adorably hopeful expressions, that all she could do was smile and roll her eyes.

“Fine. Tell me what to do.”

Emma coached her through the basics, and Regina had to admit the feeling of the wind catching the sail was pretty exhilarating. When it came time to do her first jibe, though, she panicked. She pulled the wrong rope, the sail came hurting towards her, and she lurched to one side to get out of the way. Emma made a grab for the sail, but their collective movement tipped the boat to one side, dumping all three of them unceremoniously into the water. Regina surfaced, spluttering, to see the boat completely upside down in the water, and her sailing companions treading water next to her, laughing their heads off. She didn’t find any of this remotely funny, and shook her head as she righted the boat with magic, bringing herself, and only herself, back into it.

“Cheater!” Yelled Emma from the water. “Capsizing on your first try is part of the fun!”

“Clearly we have very different ideas about what constitutes fun.”

Emma smirked at her, and then swam closer. Regina put out her hand to help her into the boat, realizing at the last second what was going to happen. And yes, Emma pulled her right back into the water. She screeched and splashed Emma like a child. Emma splashed her back, and pretty soon all three of them were screaming and laughing and splashing around, and Regina forgot to be embarrassed about how they’d all ended up there.

“See? Fun!” Emma said when they’d calmed down.

“And really, for your first go, it wasn’t that bad,” added Hook, kicking over to the boat and attempting to hoist himself in.

Regina and Emma watched him struggle for a minute, before Regina took pity on him and whisked all three of them into the boat with magic.

“Thanks, love. It’s terribly convenient to be able to do that, isn’t it?” He said, shaking the water out of his ears.

Regina just hummed in agreement as she wrung out her clothes. “And once you get used to it, it’s really hard to go back,” grumbled Emma.

 Regina smiled at her, not willing to let go of the playful atmosphere they’d created. “Oh, poor Emma,” she teased. “Your mean old magic teacher won’t let you use any magic until you learn to use it correctly? How sad.”

Emma pouted at her, but her eyes sparkled. Hook, meanwhile, watched them with an expression of amusement that Regina privately took pride in. She hadn’t realized how much she needed him to see how she and Emma interacted as a couple until he was there watching. She got to see the two of them together often, and it occurred to her that he was hardly ever in that situation. Emma was definitely right to bring the three of them together like this.

So she turned back to Emma, still looking at her with those ridiculous puppy dog eyes, and leaned in close. “You just need a good incentive to practice,” she purred. “I’m sure if we think about it, we can come up with something you want badly enough to motivate you.”

The expression on Emma’s face told Regina she’d achieved her goal, and she turned away to figure out how they were going to get back to shore. But Emma grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss before she could get very far. The kiss was brief, but made Regina shiver. When she looked up, she caught Hook grinning from ear to ear at them. She blushed deeply and retreated to the seat at the stern of the boat.

“Don’t be embarrassed, love!” Hook called to her. “She is quite fun to tease, isn’t she?”

“Hey!” said Emma indignantly, but the pleased flush on her face told Regina she was delighted with this turn of events.

Regina just took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She wasn’t used to this at all, but despite her initial discomfort, she was still very much enjoying herself.

“Alright, sailors,” she said, changing the subject. “Who’s going to show me how to get us back to shore?”

***

They somehow made it back to the dock in one piece and without capsizing again. They had driven there, so even though Regina wanted to just use magic to get home and dry, Emma insisted on piling into her yellow bug, sopping clothes and all. Regina couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so relaxed and free. She was consistently amazed at herself for how much she enjoyed letting Emma draw out this side of her. She didn’t know she wanted that until it was there staring her in the face, insisting that she learn how to sail. She and Emma had a deep connection, and in many ways their close relationship was based on a shared understanding of what it was like to be slowly healing the broken parts of their hearts. And yet she relished the opportunities that seemed to come up more and more often to laugh and tease and have fun.

Regina leaned her head back on the seat and watched Emma brush her hand against the back of Hook’s neck. Regina smiled to herself. Their situation may not make a whole lot of sense, and there was a lot that still felt tenuous about it. But after their intense conversation and the playful afternoon they clearly all needed to recover from it, Regina was once again feeling hopeful.

They got back to Emma and Hook’s house, and took turns showering and changing into dry clothes. Emma found something that Regina could wear, and when she put on Emma’s clothes, Regina’s heart glowed a little brighter. This was what she’d needed – to feel like she was part of Emma’s life, and not some dirty little secret. She shook her head. A few months ago she could never have imagined that this was the piece of her life she’d felt like was missing. She really had been quite content for the most part, if a little lonely and more than a little sexually frustrated. And now she was negotiating how she fit into her best friend’s life with her husband. Regina laughed out loud. Life had a funny way of sneaking up on you.

“Regina?” Emma knocked on the bathroom door, which was ajar, and came in. “You OK?”

Regina turned and wrapped her arms around Emma, burying her face in her neck for a moment. “Much more than OK. I didn’t know how much I needed this time with the three of us today. Thank you for making it happen.”

Emma hummed and pulled her close. “I can’t believe how lucky I am,” she said into Regina’s hair. “Now come on, Killian’s making us a picnic on the living room floor.”

Regina laughed and shook her head. “You two…”

 

Regina’s smile brightened even more when she walked into the living room. With cushions and blankets on the floor, and candles set around the coffee table, it looked just like that night on the Jolly Roger, which Regina now understood to be the night that all of this began. It seemed fitting, and she realized that in many ways the three of them had gotten back some of the ease and flow of that night. This time, though, she knew exactly where she stood with both of them, and wasn’t at all nervous.

The evening passed comfortably with the three of them laughing and talking, mostly about nothing, sometimes about Henry, and only once or twice about any of the big relationship things that had come up earlier. Regina sensed they all needed a break, and stayed away from the topic of magic as well. She was worried about Emma and why she didn’t seem to be making any progress in her dark magic attempts, but that could wait for tomorrow.

As the night wore on, Regina stretched out on the couch, lying face up with her head on a pillow, enjoying the conversation with her eyes closed. Emma was sitting on the ground and Hook had his head on her lap. During a lull in conversation, Regina opened her eyes and looked over at them. Emma was playing with Hook’s hair absentmindedly while she finished the last of her wine. Regina looked more closely at him, and then asked quietly “Is he asleep?”

Emma looked down at her husband and rolled her eyes. “Uh huh. The man can fall asleep anywhere, any time, while anything is happening around him.”

Regina dropped her head back down to the pillow. “I wish I could do that.”

“Me too,” Emma replied. “I’m always lying in bed awake forever after he’s drifted off. It’s really not fair.”

Regina turned on her side to look at Emma. “You have trouble sleeping, too?” she asked, not sure why she didn’t already know this.

Emma nodded and eased Hook’s head off her lap. She came over and picked up Regina’s legs to sit under them, scooting closer to her so she could take her hand and intertwine their fingers. Regina brought her free hand up to scratch Emma’s head lightly, smiling as Emma’s eyes fluttered closed.

“I used to think someday I’d grow out of the insomnia,” Emma said with her eyes still closed. “But I haven’t yet. And really, I think at this point it’s just not going to happen.”

“Does your mind race, or is it more about your body not relaxing?” Regina asked, all too familiar with both of these experiences.

“Mostly my mind,” said Emma. “It got way worse after I became the Dark One, which added nightmares to the whole glorious experience.”

Regina hummed as she continued to tangle her hand in and out of Emma’s hair. “What are the nightmares about?” she asked. And then quickly added, “If you don’t mind talking about it.”

“I don’t mind.” Emma looked down and started fiddling with the hem of Regina’s pants. Well, her pants, currently on Regina’s legs. “Most of them are just a vague impression of a dark, cold void. Or I’m trapped in some kind of cave and I can’t see anything. Occasionally it’ll be something oddly specific, though, and I finally figured out that they’re actually memories of what various Dark Ones have done. Those are the worst.”

Regina knew the feeling. She dreamt about what she’d done in the past more than she cared to admit. And in fact in this moment she didn’t want to admit it, so instead she pulled Emma closer to her, maneuvering until she got the two of them lying down face to face, barely fitting on the couch. She put an arm protectively around Emma’s waist, and whispered to her, “What do you do when you have nightmares?”

Emma snuggled closer. “Honestly? I think about Henry. I try to remember all of the silly things he’s said lately, or the sweet things he does for all of us. It helps.”

Regina chuckled lightly and found Emma’s hand sandwiched between them. “I do the same thing.”

“You have nightmares too?”

Regina hesitated before answering simply, “Yes.”

Emma must have sensed her hesitation, and didn’t ask about it further. Regina thought about their son, and the unbelievable spirit of optimism and joy he brought to everything. It anchored her to think about him when she was overwhelmed by memories or fears. Even when he was nowhere near her, the thought could keep her sane. It was like a touchstone.

Suddenly her mind made a connection, and she gasped.

“What?” said Emma, tensing.

“I just had an idea about your magic.”

Emma sighed.

“No, hear me out. I was thinking about how we both use memories of Henry like a touchstone when we’re scared. What if we gave you something like that to hold on to when you try to access your dark magic?”

“A touchstone?”

“Something to help remind you that you won’t get lost there. Something to bring you back to balance if you start to go too far into the darkness.”

Emma was quiet for a moment. Then she said slowly, “Maybe you’re right. I think I know where that darkness is inside me, and I’m afraid to go into it because I’m afraid I won’t get out. And I think I’ve known that for a while, I just couldn’t admit it. Killian as much as said that to me weeks ago, but I couldn’t hear it.”

Regina untangled her hand to bring it up to Emma’s face. She stroked her cheek gently. “It’s OK that it took you a while. I understand. And you won’t get stuck there, I promise. We’ll find something that will help you feel safe, and that will get you back if you need it.”

Emma nodded and turned to kiss Regina’s palm. She looked back at her and held her gaze.

“I love you,” Emma whispered.

Regina’s heart beat faster, and her skin began to tingle, but before her brain could catch up with her body, Emma put a finger to her lips.

“Shhhh, you don’t need to say anything. I just want you to know that I do.”

Regina let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and nodded. She didn’t know what to think or say, but she did know that her heart was glowing with warmth, and so she leaned forward and kissed Emma, hoping she could feel that glow even if Regina wasn’t ready to put any of it into words. Emma kissed her back with a tenderness that made Regina positively melt into her. Emma pulled her hand out from between them, wrapped both arms around Regina, and pulled them closer until every part of their bodies were touching. She kissed along Regina’s cheek and then scooted up and under her, repositioning them so Regina was mostly on top of her, her head resting on Emma’s shoulder. They both sighed as they settled in to this position, and Emma stroked Regina’s hair gently.

Regina meant to say something, anything, but as Emma’s hands massaged her scalp, her body relaxed and she drifted easily off to sleep.

***

 

Regina woke with a start the next morning, her eyes flying open and her body going rigid. But when she remembered where she was, and felt Emma’s reassuring touch on her back, she relaxed into the arms that held her. She looked up just in time to see Hook kiss Emma’s forehead and walk out the front door. Regina buried her head into Emma’s neck and groaned softly.

“What time is it?”

“No idea,” Emma replied, running her hands along Regina’s back. She hummed contentedly.

“That’s nice.” Regina nuzzled into Emma and kissed her neck a couple of times for good measure.

Emma laughed. “Is this what you’re like in the mornings?”

“No,” said Regina into her collarbone. She sighed. “Not at all, actually.”

Emma squeezed her tighter. “That’s too bad, because this is a great way to wake up.”

Regina resumed her feather-light kisses along Emma’s skin, and Emma’s hands wandered down to her lower back. They both sighed.

“I know this isn’t exactly what you meant when you said you wanted to wake up together, but I’d say it’s a good start,” said Emma, moving her hands back up to push Regina’s hair out of her face. Regina bent to kiss her, reveling in the feeling of their sleep-warm bodies pressing together.

When they came up for air, she sat up and stretched her stiff limbs. “Yes, I’d say this is a pretty good way to wake up,” she said through a yawn. Emma shifted and stretched as well.

“Next time, let’s sleep together in an actual bed, though,” she said, kissing Regina on the cheek before getting up to stretch more.

“Agreed.” Regina looked around, finally awake enough to wonder where Hook had gone. She asked Emma, who grinned widely before answering: “He’s getting us breakfast from Granny’s.”

Regina laughed at her. “I can see you’re easy to please.”

“You would know,” came the retort, and Regina blushed fiercely at the implication. Somehow she was more embarrassed by the flirtatious banter now that they were actually physically intimate with each other than she had been before. Probably because her mind conjured very specific images when Emma joked about how Regina pleased her. Delicious, specific images that made Regina’s stomach drop and her legs clench together.

Before she could decide what to do with her arousal, though, Hook walked back in with breakfast.

“Coffee with 2% milk and a croissant for the lady,” Hook said as he handed her each item.

“And black coffee with a donut for my wife,” he said, handing Emma hers. Emma grinned at him and stole a quick kiss before sitting down at the table.

Hook pulled his own coffee and bagel out and sat across from Emma. Regina eyed him.

“How do you know what I like for breakfast?” she asked.

“I ran into Henry and asked him.”

“What?!” Emma and Regina burst out at the same time, talking over each other.

“You talked to Henry?” “What did you say to him?”

Hook waved a hand to calm them down. “Relax. I just told him you were coming over for breakfast so you two could work on magic. He thought it was nice that I’d offered to buy breakfast.”

Regina sat back and sipped her coffee. She looked at them, the glow of the morning beginning to wear off.

“We’re going to have to tell him at some point, aren’t we?” Emma asked the room.

Regina chewed on her lip. She hated lying to her son, and sneaking around was starting to get cumbersome, especially as the three of them were spending more time together without him. But how in the world would they explain this? And was it really right to let him in on the intimate details of his mothers’ relationships?

“I know it’s not really up to me,” said Hook after a moment. “But the lad sees more than we think he does. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some questions already.”

Regina knew he was right. Henry watched people, his family in particular, and understood things intuitively before anyone else. She was sure he had some sense that things had changed, but hadn’t brought it up out of respect for his parents.

“What do we tell him?” she said finally. “I mean, how much? We could just say that you and I have been getting closer, or something.”

Emma furrowed her brow. “I mean, yeah, we could. But he knows when we’re lying to him. And he already knows we’re closer – that’s obvious to everyone. I say we tell him the truth, but without a whole lot of details.”

Regina imagined this conversation and laughed, shaking her head. “Things I never thought I’d say to my son: Henry, I’m dating your mother.”

Emma smiled at her. “We need to come up with a good way to put this. I mean, not that the labels matter that much to us, but he’s going to need to understand what this means for him, for all of us.”

Regina thought for a moment. “I think it should be you who tells him,” she said.

“Why?” said Emma, looking at her sharply.

“Because if it’s me, he’ll think that there’s something wrong in your marriage.”

Emma shook her head. “No, I think we should do it together.”

“I agree,” said Hook, quickly adding “again, not that it’s up to me, but it’s probably easiest if he can ask all of his questions at once, instead of waiting until he sees the other one of you.”

“Yes, but I meant all three of us,” said Emma.  “Like you said, he’s going to have a lot of questions, and I don’t want him cornering you after the fact.”

Hook conceded this would be something Henry would do.

“But what do we say?” asked Regina. She really didn’t want to go into this without a solid plan.

Everyone fell silent and looked at their plates. Finally, Emma offered, “Look, let’s think it over for a while. We can meet up again next week and make a plan.”

Regina and Hook agreed, and the room fell silent again. Emma looked up at each of them in turn.

“We had such a good day together yesterday. Just … promise me you’ll remember how that felt while we try to figure this out, OK?”

She held a hand out to each of them. Regina took her hand and smiled up at her shyly. She looked at Hook, who nodded at her.

“Don’t worry, Emma,” she said. “We’ll still be here when the dust settles.”

****

 

In the end, Henry surprised all of them when they finally sat down to have a family meeting. They’d barely gotten out “Henry we need to tell you something,” when he interrupted.

“Are you guys finally going to tell me what’s been going on between the two of you?”

Regina and Emma looked at each other, baffled.

“What do you mean?” Regina asked.

“Oh come on Mom, you two have been acting weird for a while now, and we haven’t had all-family dinners for weeks now. I know something’s up.”

Regina shifted in her seat. Emma gave her an encouraging look, so she took a deep breath and tried to remember the words they’d carefully chosen the night before.

“Well, yes, there is something we want to talk to you about.” She took Emma’s hand, the move choreographed in their plan to provide a visual aid, but also exactly the reassurance Regina needed at the moment. “Your mom and I have recently changed the terms of our relationship. We’ve been a lot of things to each other: rivals, co-parents, friends. And now we’re exploring what it means to be more than friends.”

Emma picked up the next piece. “Killian and I are still happily married, and he’s totally on board with all of this.”

Hook nodded from the corner, but let Emma and Regina do the talking.

Emma continued, “We didn’t tell you for a while because we wanted to make sure it was going to work first.” She looked at Regina and smiled. “But it’s working really well, so we’re telling you now.”

Henry looked at them for a moment, and then grinned, practically bouncing in his seat. “This is awesome! I figured it was something good, with the way Mom has been smiling all the time, but this is way better than I thought!”

Regina did an honest to god double take. “Really? Just like that, you’re completely fine with this situation?”

“Yeah, Mom,” said Henry cheerfully. “I just want you to be happy, and you clearly are. Besides, when has our family ever done anything the usual way?”

They all laughed at that, and Regina stood up to wrap Henry up in a hug. “I love you so much, Henry,” she said. Emma joined her in the hug, and motioned for Hook to come in, too. They three of them squished their boy until Henry finally wriggled away.

“Is there… anything else I need to know?”

Emma laughed “I think that’s enough big news for one family meeting, don’t you?”

Regina turned to him. “Although, actually, Henry, I could use your help with something that I’m working on in my attempts to teach your mother to use her dark magic. Can we talk about that this afternoon?”

“Of course! Anything I can do to help.”

“Well,” said Emma standing up, “Killian and I need to get to the station. We’ll leave you two to talk magic.”

Emma kissed her son on the forehead and shook her head at him, smiling. “You’re the best, kid. You know that?”

He ducked his head, trying to hide the pleased flush that crept into his cheeks. Hook ruffled his hair as he walked past, and Regina caught him give Henry a wink. She narrowed her eyes as it occurred to her that maybe Henry had been prepared for this conversation by more than just his intuition. She should be mad, but really she was so relieved to have this out in the open, that she just couldn’t bring herself to question it.

She turned to her son. “Thank you, Henry.”

“For what?”

“Being so open and enthusiastic about all of this. Honestly, it took me a lot longer to come around to the idea myself.”

“Yeah, but it takes you a long time to come around to anything.” He must have seen the look on her face and quickly added, “It’s OK, Mom! It’s not a bad thing, just who you are.”

She smiled at him. “Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good.”

He grinned. “So, what’s this magic assignment you need my help with?”


	10. In the Middle of the Night

Regina and Emma burst through the door of Regina’s bedroom, hands grabbing at clothes and lips and tongues tangling as Regina walked them back towards her bed. Emma flopped down on her back, pulling Regina on top of her and yanking her shirt open at the same time. Regina helped her get it all the way off, reaching back to unclasp her bra, suddenly desperate to feel Emma’s skin on her own. She wrestled Emma out of her shirt and bra as well, and bent immediately to attach her lips to the smooth skin over her collarbone. Regina knew how much Emma liked it when she used her teeth and was a little rough with her, so she was doing just that, biting and sucking and soothing with her tongue.

Emma sighed audibly, and Regina smiled against her chest, their hands finding each other as she continued downwards with her mouth. When Regina got down to the perfectly alert nipple, she paused, wanting to take a moment to admire the view. As she did, she noticed a splotchy bruise on the top of Emma’s right breast. It was very clearly a hickey, and Regina sat up to take a better look. She reached out and touched it, pressing gently.

Emma groaned, her eyes snapping open and taking in what was happening. “Oh shit,” she moaned, sinking back down onto the pillow, “I totally forgot about that.”

Regina just chuckled, her fingers still caressing the spot. Emma sat up onto her elbows to look at her.

“Is this weird for you?” She asked, suddenly serious.

Regina didn’t look up as she answered. “A little,” she admitted. “It’s just something to get used to.”

Emma sat all the way up so she could tuck a finger under Regina’s chin to make her look at her. “And you still want to get used to it?” she asked pointedly.

Regina nodded right away. “Yes, Emma, I do.” She took Emma’s hand and pulled them together into a sweet embrace. “After all of the processing we’ve done and telling our son, you really think a little reminder of who else you have sex with is going to drive me away?” At that, Emma squeezed her tighter, and they found each other’s lips again.

The kiss quickly deepened into passionate and then the hunger for each other’s bodies was back, causing Regina to push Emma down roughly, kneading her breasts with firm hands. Emma moaned, and the sound sent Regina’s arousal through the roof.

Emma’s eyes flew open, and she bit her bottom lip, a mischievous look in her eyes. “Mark the other one,” she said, her voice low and seductive.

Regina blinked. “What?”

Emma pulled Regina’s hands over to her left breast. “I want a mark from you, too,” she explained.

Regina smirked, but her insides quivered. She very much wanted to bite and suck on that skin until it was bruised. Even more she wanted Emma to feel it the next day and think of her. And yes, she knew that Emma would have a similar conversation with Hook later, when he discovered her mark. The thought was disconcerting at first, but then she thought about their afternoon out on the water. She had felt a kind of camaraderie with him then, as she started to understand that he really just wanted Emma to be happy. Why not let him see evidence that she was doing just that?

Regina looked down at Emma’s eyes, and saw pure desire looking back at her. She moaned and without another word brought her mouth down to Emma’s breast, licking a circle around her nipple before finding a spot just off to the side to bite and then suck and then bite again. Emma grabbed at her hair and writhed underneath her, making the most deliciously obscene sounds until Regina finally let up, blowing on the spot to sooth the skin, and admiring her handiwork. She didn’t have long to look, though, before Emma pulled her face up for a searing kiss.

It was unbelievably erotic to Regina the way that Emma let her raw desire drive her. Anytime they started kissing, Emma’s hands would be under her clothes, pulling her close and holding her tight. Regina loved it. She loved it when they were desperate to touch each other, to get as close as they possibly could.

Regina pulled herself away from the kiss, chuckling as Emma whined at the loss of contact. She quieted, though, as Regina raked her hands down her front to unbutton her pants. She peeled them off as fast as she could, taking Emma’s panties with her. She started to climb back on top of the now naked woman below her, but Emma stopped her, insisting that she strip herself as well. Regina locked eyes with her as she pulled her own trousers off readily, leaving her panties on for now.

Satisfied, Emma leaned back, pulling Regina on top of her. They both sighed at the skin to skin contact, and Regina leaned down for another passionate kiss. She dragged her hand up and down Emma’s side, finally coming to rest on her breast, squeezing gently and then harder as she heard Emma’s breathing speed up. Emma’s breasts were incredibly sensitive, and Regina was always happy to lavish attention on them. Tonight, however, she wanted her fingers elsewhere. She pushed a knee between Emma’s legs, smiling when Emma gasped. Regina could feel how wet she already was.

“I want to touch you,” she murmured. “I want to bury my fingers inside you.” It was phrased as a statement, but she meant it as a question. Emma got the message, and breathed out “yes” as she let her knees drop open. Regina braced herself on one arm to drag the other down the center of Emma’s body. Emma shivered and held her breath in anticipation. When Regina’s fingers dipped gently into the glistening folds between her legs, she closed her eyes and threw her head back with a breathy sigh. Regina felt her heard skip a beat. How was it possible that she got to make this woman sound like that?

She leaned over to kiss and nip at Emma’s neck while her fingers worked firm circles around her sensitive flesh. When she pushed a finger gently inside, Emma moaned in earnest and her hands flew up to grasp at Regina’s back. Regina moved her mouth to Emma’s collarbone as she added a second finger inside her. She swirled her tongue over her now salty skin as she pushed her fingers in as far as they would go, twitching the ends up just a bit to find that sensitive spot inside her. Emma gasped, gripping Regina harder with her arms.

“Yes, Emma,” Regina moaned. “Hold me tighter.”

“Regina,” breathed Emma, as she wrapped her legs around her, too. She pulled her close with arms and legs, the extra pressure driving Regina’s fingers even deeper. Emma moaned and whispered Regina’s name again. Regina rested her weight into Emma’s pelvis and started to pulse her fingers as best she could with her hand trapped between them. She pulled her thumb up and felt around for Emma’s clit, grinning when the volume of her moans let her know she’d found it.

Regina pushed and rubbed, kissing and licking and sucking any part of Emma’s skin she could reach. Emma panted and gasped and pulled her closer and closer as she spiraled up. When she came, it was loud and long and intense, and Regina just drank in the sound of it. She kept her fingers where they were, but still, letting Emma ride out the aftershocks that shivered through her body. When she finally relaxed her arms and legs down to the bed, Regina slowly pulled her fingers out. She sat up, and brought them up to her mouth to suck them clean. She’d found she loved the taste of Emma’s arousal on her tongue, and gave herself every opportunity to enjoy it.

Regina’s eyes had closed as she savored the feel of the slickness in her mouth, and when she opened them she saw Emma watching her with rapt attention. She grinned around her fingers, pulling them out slowly and noting the way Emma’s eyes followed her movements. On a whim, she sat back and brought her fingers down inside her own panties, gathering up the wetness she found there. She willed her eyes to stay open and locked to Emma’s as she pushed her fingers inside herself and then pulled them out again. She brought her hand up, intending to suck her fingers clean again, but Emma grabbed her wrist before she could get there, and brought Regina’s fingers into her own mouth. Regina couldn’t help the whimper that passed her lips as she watched that gorgeous mouth close around her fingers. She loved the feeling of being inside Emma, inside any part of her. It was erotic and welcoming, and so incredibly hot.

Regina leaned down and pulled her fingers out of Emma’s mouth, replacing them quickly with her tongue as she kissed her with all the passion and desire she was feeling. Emma clasped the back of her head and leaned up into her, then quickly flipped them over so Regina was under her. Emma kissed her way down Regina’s body, stopping briefly to look up at her when she reached her hipbone. Regina nodded quickly, and Emma ripped her panties off of her and brought her tongue to her pussy, moaning as she made contact. The vibrations and the incredible feel of her mouth had Regina twitching on the bed. Emma scooped her hands under Regina’s hips to hold her to her mouth. Regina lost all coherent thought as her awareness zeroed in to the physical sensations coursing through her body.

Regina came quickly, as she always did when Emma sucked on her like that. And as usual, Emma stroked her gently for a moment before ramping her up again. After discovering that Regina could orgasm multiple times in quick succession, Emma never left her with just one. This time she pushed her fingers inside her, readjusting until she found that perfect spot that reduced Regina to a panting mess. She gasped and thrashed around as Emma did her best to hold on, sucking on her clit and pushing with her fingers until she finally came again, arching off the bed in her passion and collapsing back down. Emma kissed her thigh, then crawled up to drape an arm and leg over her. Regina rolled into her, trying to slow her racing pulse.

They stayed connected like this for a long while, gently caressing each other’s skin. Eventually, Emma broke the silence, kissing Regina’s forehead as she murmured “I’m so happy we get to do this.”

Regina hummed. “Me too, Emma.” She nuzzled into Emma’s neck and held her tight. Emma had arranged to stay the night, and that meant Regina didn’t have to let go of her anytime soon. She sighed. Her body being so relaxed and open made her feel comfortable trying to put into words what she was thinking.

“I didn’t expect this to work so well,” she started. Emma laughed.

“I’m serious. I thought at some point I’d start to resent having to share you. But I don’t.”

Emma shifted so she could look at Regina, her fingers tracing slow circles on her back as she listened.

“I mean, I know I needed reassurance that what we have is important to you, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t need you all to myself for it to be real, and strong, and good.”

She smiled, tracing Emma’s face lightly with her finger. “It’s like with Henry, really. I thought that he couldn’t possibly love me as much as he had if he also loved you like that. But he does. And I think he loves each of us more because we let him have both of us.”

Regina snuggled just a bit closer to Emma as she continued, “And I see that with us now, too. Our relationship doesn’t take away anything you have with Killian, and vice versa. Really it just makes all of us closer and more open.”

Emma’s face lit up. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me, Regina. And you called him Killian. You never do that.”

Regina blushed. Honestly she hadn’t realized she’d done that, but she had begun to think of him differently lately, so she supposed it was only fair to start actually using his given name. They’d only known each other a few decades…

She smiled back at Emma, then leaned in to kiss her. Emma immediately opened her lips, swiping her tongue against Regina’s mouth. Regina responded in kind, moaning softly as Emma sucked her tongue into her mouth. Emma broke away from the kiss to roll on top of her, and Regina bit her lip as she saw the desire return to Emma’s eyes. She rolled her hips up and brought her hands to tangle in Emma’s hair as they immersed themselves in each other’s bodies once again.

 

Eventually they tired themselves out, and lay there wrapped in each other’s arms. Regina heard Emma’s breathing even out just before she herself dropped off to sleep. Sometime later, she woke with a start as Emma’s arm jerked off of her hip where it had been resting. Regina turned over and called her name. Emma was muttering and whimpering in her sleep, and her legs twitched fiercely. Regina sat up and called her name again, shaking her shoulder firmly.

“Emma, wake up!”

Emma gasped as her eyes flew open, her whole body rigid. She swept her gaze around the room and finally saw Regina. She breathed out and melted back down into the bed.

“Regina,” she whispered. “I had a nightmare.”

Regina lay down and coaxed Emma back into her arms, putting her head on her shoulder and holding her tight.

“I figured,” Regina said softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Emma shook her head.

Then Regina smiled, knowing what she should do. “Do you remember that time maybe three years ago when Henry and Grace decided to go sledding out by the pond?”

Emma smiled and closed her eyes. “They thought the pond was frozen but it wasn’t.”

Regina laughed, remembering the look on Henry’s face when his foot went right through the thin ice. “Remember how Grace nearly hit him as she came down the hill, because he was stuck with his foot in 6 inches of water?”

Emma nodded, her shoulders starting to relax down.

Regina continued, “And as I remember it, you were laughing so hard you couldn’t even help him get out for a good five minutes.”

She rubbed Emma’s back as she smiled. This was one of her favorite family memories that she used to drive away her own dark nightmares.

“I was so afraid one of you was going to get frostbite from that.”

“I know,” said Emma, her voice slightly muffled as she burrowed into Regina’s shoulder. “You insisted on poofing everybody back to your house to change clothes immediately. I don’t think anyone minded once you brought out the hot chocolate, though.”

“And everyone kept all their toes, too.”

Emma chuckled. “That was a good day.”

They lay there in silence for a few minutes. Regina continued to rub Emma’s back soothingly as she considered which other memories she might bring up if Emma needed them.

But it was Emma who spoke next: “Do you remember how it felt to have our magic intertwined while we did that sex magic spell together?”

Regina took in a breath as her limbs tingled at the mere suggestion of that feeling. “Yes,” she managed to say. “Yes I do.”

“I think about that feeling sometimes, when I can’t sleep,” Emma said, turning her head so she could look up at Regina. “The way your magic felt inside me, and the way my magic felt as it went into you. I’ve never felt anything so…”

“Intimate.” Regina finished for her. Emma nodded, and turned over, pulling Regina’s hand over her chest. Regina pulled her in close, fitting her hips perfectly in line with Emma’s. They lapsed into silence.

Just as Regina was wondering if she had fallen asleep again, Emma said quietly, “You have nightmares about what you did as the Evil Queen, don’t you?”

Regina immediately tensed, but willed herself to calm down and answer honestly. “Yes,” she said, not really wanting to elaborate.

Emma twined their fingers together. “It’s OK. You don’t have to talk about it. But I want you to know that you can, if you need to.”

Regina took a deep breath. She thought about that feeling of their magic mingling together, the power of their combined light magic driving the darkness back more surely than ever before. She squeezed Emma’s hand.

“How did you know?”

“You said you had nightmares, and I just kind of put the pieces together.”

Regina thought for moment. “I know that I’m not that person anymore,” she said finally,  “And sometimes I think I’ve forgiven myself for what I did, but when it comes back to me so clearly in my dreams, it’s hard to hold on to that.”

Emma brought her hand up and kissed it lightly. “I get that. You don’t just forgive yourself once and move on. It’s more like a constant process.”

“Yes,” Regina breathed. “It’s never done. And I guess I’ve mostly come to peace with that, but every now and then in the middle of the night I wish I could just make it go away.”

Emma turned over to face her again. She pushed Regina’s hair out of her face and kissed her lightly. “You’re the strongest person I know,” she whispered. And Regina couldn’t explain why it was the perfect thing to say, but it was. She gazed at Emma for a moment before kissing her and wrapping her tightly in her arms.

Emma closed her eyes, and Regina felt her relax and begin to breath evenly again.

She called Emma’s name softly, and when she got no response, she whispered, “I love you.” She put her head down, and finally fell back asleep.


	11. The Touchstone

Regina and Henry had finally set everything up for the touchstone spell for Emma. Regina had chosen a small rock from the beach to be the physical stone, which she enchanted to be able to collect light magic, and gave it to Henry to bring to everyone around town. 

Ever the diligent helper, Henry brought it back to her later that day, so Regina called Emma down to her vault to complete the spell. She’d promised Killian that he could be there when Emma tried her magic again, in case anything went wrong. But Regina needed to do this part in private, with just the two of them.

Emma walked down the stairs looking more anxious than Regina had seen her in a long time. She went over to her and immediately pulled her into a hug.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hi,” came Emma's nervous response.

Regina pulled back and smoothed Emma’s hair back from her face. “You don’t need to be nervous. I know this is going to work.”

Emma nodded but didn’t say anything. Regina picked up the stone and showed it to her. She hadn’t told Emma much about the spell, just that it would serve as an anchor for her light magic, much as their sex magic spell had anchored her own.

“This is your touchstone,” she explained, holding it out and gesturing for Emma to take it. She did, and her eyes widened as she looked up at Regina.

“It’s powerful,” Emma said quietly.

“Yes, it is. That’s light magic collected from everyone in this town who loves you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I put an enchantment on it so that it recorded the light magic created as everyone said that they love you. Henry went around and got people to say it today.”

She put her hand underneath Emma’s, where the stone still rested on her open palm. “Your community, your family, your son, your husband – all of them put their love for you in here. It’s just missing one last thing.”

Regina waved her other hand over the stone, which began to glow. She caught Emma’s gaze and held it as she leaned her lips forward to whisper “I love you, Emma.”

Tears began to roll down Emma’s cheeks, and Regina brought her hand up to wipe them gently away. She took the stone back from her.

“Are you ready to do the anchoring spell?”

“Yes,” said Emma, her voice quiet but steady.

Regina placed the stone on her outstretched palm, and took one of Emma’s hands in her own. 

“Bring up your light magic into my hand.”

They both sighed as Emma’s magic hit Regina’s hand. There really was nothing like the feeling of magic intermingling like this. Regina willed herself to stay focused, though. She took the thread of magic from Emma, letting it mix with her own, and wrapped it around the stone. The stone glowed brighter and brighter, until it flashed so bright they both had to close their eyes, and then the light receded back into their hands. Emma took a deep breath and took the stone from Regina, closing her palm around it. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them, looking like herself again.

“I feel it,” she said decisively. “I’m ready to try it.”

Regina smiled. “Let’s go, then.” 

She turned to grab her bag, and felt Emma follow her. Emma wrapped her arms around Regina from behind, and then turned her around to kiss her deeply.

“I love you,” Emma said, leaning their foreheads together.

Regina gazed up at her, bit back the fear that threatened to steal her words, and whispered, “I love you, too.”

Emma’s eyes sparkled and she smiled. “Let’s go do some dark magic,” she said, and Regina couldn’t help but laugh.

*****

They picked up Hook and drove out to the field where the two of them had been working on magic for the past few weeks. Emma had a determined look in her eyes, but Regina seemed to have inherited her nerves. She tried her best to hide it, though. She did think this would work, but if it didn’t, she was completely out of ideas.

Regina stopped the car and they all walked the last bit in to the center of the clearing. Hook gave Emma a quick kiss, and then stepped back, out of harm’s way. Regina turned to Emma.

“You have your touchstone?”

Emma nodded and showed it to her before stuffing it back in her pocket.

“Alright. Remember, if you need to, you can just pick it up, and it should give you that burst of light magic you need if it gets to be too much.”

“I know. I’m ready.”

Regina smiled at her. “I know you are. Now, reach into that dark place inside you. You know where it is. Pull on it, and let it rise to the surface.”

Emma closed her eyes in concentration. She put out a hand and furrowed her brow. The smallest wisp of fire sprang to life in her palm. She opened her eyes, and the flame disappeared.

“That was a good start,” Regina encouraged. “Try again.”

Emma closed her eyes again, and again the tiny flame appeared, still small, but steadier this time.

“Good,” said Regina, “now add some intensity.”

Emma took a deep breath, but as she did, Regina felt a tug at her own magic, and immediately reacted to stop the shockwave that went out.

Emma looked around her with wide eyes. “Everyone alright?”

Regina nodded. Hook, from several steps away, called out, “What happened?”

“I used Regina’s magic again,” said Emma, frustrated. She shook out her arms and legs. “OK. Let’s try this again.”

She tried again. And again. And each time she found her own magic, but couldn’t bring it up any farther than the basic level before she grabbed Regina’s and they had to stop. After the fifth or sixth attempt, Emma got angry. She stomped away, growling, and kicked at the ground. Regina sighed. For how angry Emma was, this should be working. 

Emma stalked back to her and took her hand. She visibly got her emotions under control, and then looked Regina in the eyes as she said, “Regina, I can’t do this with you standing right here. Your magic is too familiar to me now, and it’s incredibly distracting to have it right here next to me. I think I can ignore it if you’re farther away.”

Regina knew she was right, even though she hated the idea of leaving. But she willed herself to answer steadily and calmly: “Of course, Emma. That makes sense. Please just keep me updated, alright?”

Emma pulled her into her arms briefly as she agreed to call with updates. And before Regina could second guess any of it, she had poofed back to her house to sit and wait.

She sat. And she waited. And her phone did not ring. She got up and busied herself in the kitchen, cleaning and then prepping for dinner. And her phone did not ring. She swas standing uncertainly in the dining room, and was just about to pick up the phone to call Emma when Henry walked in the door.

He smiled when he saw her, and the muscles she hadn’t realized were so tense loosened themselves just enough.

“Hi Mom! I didn’t think you’d be home. Weren’t you guys trying out the touchstone spell today?”

She smiled sadly. “Emma’s doing that right now.”

He eyed her as he pried off his shoes and came to sit next to her. “Then why are you here?”

“She kept pulling from my magic, so we thought it would be easier if I … wasn’t right there.”

“Gotcha. Did it work?”

“I don’t know yet. She was going to call with updates, but I haven’t heard anything.”

“Are you worried?”

She looked up from her phone, which she had been pushing around on the table. “Why would think I’m worried?”

He looked pointedly at her fidgeting fingers. She quickly withdrew them and put them in her lap. OK, yes, she was worried. It had been over an hour. She sighed, and without answering Henry, picked up the phone.

Emma answered after the first ring, yelling so loud that Henry could hear her.

“Regina! It worked! I can do it!”

Regina breathed a sigh of relief, but even as she did, she felt her anger rise. If everything was fine, why hadn’t she called? Emma launched into all the details, though, and Regina found herself caught up in it.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Emma finished. “Seriously. I hate that you didn’t get to see it. I’ll have to work up to doing it in front of you, I think.”

“Of course, dear.” Regina could hear the formality creeping into her tone, and she tried to stop it. “Come over for dinner tonight? Henry and I can cook.”

Henry nodded enthusiastically, and she hung up the phone after Emma assured her they’d be there. 

“So it worked?” Henry asked eagerly.

“It worked.” She tried to smile but couldn’t quite get there.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

She sighed. Sometimes she wished her son were a little less perceptive. She’d gone from telling Emma that she loved her to being banished from this incredibly important moment in their lives, and she felt that contrast weighing heavily on her heart. But this wasn’t something she could say to Henry, even if he would understand. He was still her son, and he didn’t need to get involved in this. So instead she shook her head and put the feeling away for later.

“Nothing, Henry. I just don’t like sitting here not being able to help. But she’s alright, and the spell seems to have worked, so everything is fine. What do you want to make for dinner?”

*****

The next day, Regina walked in to work, hoping it would help her clear her head. She had barely slept the night before, tossing and turning and wishing with everything she had that Emma was there to hold her. Regina hated that she slept better with Emma over. It made everything about this whole relationship arrangement harder.  She’d gotten used to the idea of not being exclusive with someone she loved, and for the most part it worked for her. All of their lives were intertwined in various ways, so it wasn’t like she ever went very long without seeing Emma, even if it was sometimes longer than she wanted between date nights. And now that Henry knew, spending time with their bizarre little four-person family had become one of her favorite things. By unspoken rule, the three adults left the physical part of their various relationships aside when the four of them had family dinners, and instead ended up acting like the three old friends that they in fact were.

But in the middle of a sleepless night, when Regina knew that Emma was snuggled safe in Killian’s arms, she felt the sting of jealousy.  And she didn’t know what to do with that. She didn’t want Emma all to herself, but what was she supposed to do with herself when she needed her, and she wasn’t there?

Regina sighed as she rounded the corner, trying to put these thoughts out of her head for the work day. She was just walking in to town hall when Mr. Gold caught up with her.

“Congratulations,” he said, matching her stride. She stopped and looked at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Your pupil finally mastered her own dark magic.”

Regina faltered. How did he know that? The last thing she wanted to do was to give him the satisfaction of ruffling her feathers, though, so she schooled her features and responded as haughtily as she could.

“Yes she did.”

He grinned. “I knew it was only a matter of time.”

Regina closed her eyes. Against her better judgment, she had to find out what he knew.

“Have you been watching us?”

“Watching you? No, dearie, I have much better things to do with my time than spy on the Mayor and the Sherriff. I’ve simply been paying attention to the magical balance in town. When Miss Swan stopped borrowing from my magic, I assumed she had started borrowing yours. And when I finally felt her own join the mix yesterday, I could only imagine what you had to do to coax it out of her.”

Regina seethed. “Why would you think I’d have to resort to that,” she snapped. “What I did was find a way for her to carry some light magic with her while she uses dark.” She stopped herself before she elaborated any further. Two steps from explaining why that would work was the spell Emma had found for her, and she wanted to stay as far away from that topic as possible.

Gold gave her a knowing smile. “Well it seems to have worked, so like I said, congratulations. Good day, Madame Mayor.” He walked off, leaving Regina confused and angry, her usual state whenever she had to deal with him. She reached for her phone to call Emma, and stopped herself. This was part of the problem, wasn’t it? Whenever anything happened, her first instinct was to call Emma. But shouldn’t she have other people she could talk to about things? But really, who else did she have? Snow? Zelena? As much as she loved her sister, she hadn’t breathed a word about any of this to her. She was still sore about being without magic, and Regina just knew she wouldn’t understand what she was doing with Emma.

Regina walked into her office, closed the door behind her, and sat down heavily. She had other people in her life, of course she did. But Emma always seemed to come to mind first, and to stay in her mind longest. As she thought about that, she could feel the panic rising in her chest, and she took deep breaths to steady herself. What was going on? Why was she suddenly so afraid of this? Sure, there were some things to work out, but this panic was more than just discomfort or confusion. Was it because she’d finally told Emma she loved her? As her palms got sweaty and her breathing shallow at the mere thought of that moment, she laughed ruefully. Clearly she had her answer. But why? Emma had said it to her weeks ago, and she didn’t panic like this. She needed to talk about this, but not with Emma. She picked up her phone and dropped her head back on the chair behind her. The solution was obvious, if potentially a very bad idea. But she’d promised herself she wouldn’t let her fears overpower her, so she squared her shoulders and dialed.

“Hook? It’s Regina. Can we talk? In private?” 

*****

Regina’s mouth was dry and her stomach was doing backflips, but she stilled her body to open the door and welcome him into the dining room. Somehow that felt easiest – he was over at her house for dinner all the time, so that part at least felt familiar. But as soon as they sat down with coffee between them, she nearly bailed and told him to forget it. She looked down at her mug and tried to get a hold of herself. This was Hook. _Hook_. In no world was Regina Mills intimidated by a conversation with Killian Jones. ‘Ugh, except the one where I’m sleeping with his wife,’ she thought. But the thought was funny enough to break her out of her anxious thought spiral.

“Thanks for coming,” she began.

“Of course, love. Although I have to say I was pretty surprised to get your call. I don’t believe you and I have ever, uh, socialized without Emma or Henry.”

Regina smiled. OK, if this was weird for him, too, they were at least on equal footing. 

“I know,” she replied. “I would say I’m sorry for that, but we both know it would be a lie.”

He laughed, and the tension in the room reduced significantly. When they’d both taken another sip of coffee and quieted down again, Regina launched into the reason for inviting him.

“Can we talk about Emma?”

He raised an eyebrow but nodded.

“Is this … what it’s going to be like for the rest of our lives?” she asked, figuring she’d just cut to the chase.

“How do you mean?”

“You two are married. You’ve taken vows. You plan on being together, well, forever. How do I fit into that?”

He eyed her. “I really think this is something you should talk about with her.”

She looked down. “I know. And I will. Humor me.”

He shifted around before putting his coffee cup down. “Alright. Can I be totally honest?”

“Please do.”

“I didn’t expect you two to last.”

Regina raised her eyebrows.

“Not that you two would ever not be in each other’s lives, but I thought once things got … physical a few times, you’d get it out of your system and things could settle down.”

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I thought you were the one that encouraged this whole thing?”

“I was. Because I thought she needed to get it out of her system.”

Regina gazed at him, realizing with a start just how much he loved his wife. He loved her enough to suggest something that would make her happy and potentially complicate things for him. 

“And now?” she prompted.

“Well clearly that didn’t happen.” He paused and looked at her significantly. “Emma said you finally told her you love her.”

Regina’s whole body tensed. Of course she knew they talked about her, but she felt incredibly uncomfortable imagining this conversation. She looked at her hands.

“Yes, I did.” She said quietly, and sighed. “That’s really what this is about, actually. I love her.” She laughed, shaking her head. "I can’t believe I’m saying any of this to you, of all people.”

“Yes, well, who else would understand what loving Emma is like?”

 Regina held her breath for a moment, and then let it out in a gust. “I suppose that's true." She laughed mirthlessly.  "In the most perverse twist of fate, you are the only one I can really talk to about her.”

“Well maybe that’s the problem,” he said, his voice surprisingly tender.

“What is?”

“That you can’t talk about any of this. That all of us have to keep your relationship secret.”

And just like that, the panic she’d been feeling was illuminated. Beyond living something of a double life, what was the thing that had ruined her life and set her spiraling down the darkest of paths all those years ago? The telling of a secret about someone she loved. In saying to Emma that she loved her, Regina had upped the stakes on this secret, and could feel her heart constricting at the implications.

She nodded imperceptibly. “Yes, perhaps it is.”

They sat in silence for a moment until Regina finally found the words to elaborate, at least on one part of the problem. “I can’t live the rest of my life in secret,” she said quietly. “Besides, people will find out. This town is too small for them not to.”

She stopped, but in her head she kept going: ‘And when people find out, it’s going to stop working, and I’ll be the one left with a broken heart. Again.’

Hook looked like he’d read her mind, though, and he said gently, “I don’t imagine she wants to live that way, either.”

Regina felt like she was going to cry, and took deep breaths to stop the tears. She was getting far too weepy these days. As she fought to keep her tears at bay, she felt her emotions pivot and suddenly she was angry. How could Emma lead her down this path without any idea of what it might look like if it actually worked?

Hook seemed to sense her shift in demeanor, and asked tentatively, “Regina? Are you alright?”

“No,” she spat. “I’m not. What the hell did she think she was doing, making me fall in love with her and then just hoping it all works out?” 

She stopped. She absolutely had not meant to say any of that out loud, but with her emotions running high, she just couldn’t seem to stop. The way Hook was looking at her with pity made her even angrier, though, and so she went on.

“It’s taken me so long to learn to love someone again, and it’s so complicated that I can’t even enjoy how good it is.” She slammed her hand on the table and leapt out of her seat, pacing around behind the table while she opened and closed her hands.

Hook stared at her for a second, and then leaned back in his chair. “Don’t I know it,” he said, following her movements with his eyes. “Don’t think for a second you’re the only one thrown off by all of this.”

Regina stopped walking. “I thought you were just happy she was happy,” she said icily.

“I am happy she’s happy. That doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes wish it was simple – just me and her on my ship on the open ocean.”

Regina rolled her eyes, earning a grin from him. She relaxed enough to sit down again.

“But it’s not simple, Regina,” he continued. “And if I’m honest, it never has been, and it never will be. But that’s not why I married her. I married her because I love her, and I’m willing to stick it out through anything that comes our way.” He winked. “Even you.”

 Regina heaved a sigh and put her head in her hands. “Now what?” she said through her fingers.

“Now you say all of this to Emma,” he said without missing a beat. 

She knew he was right, so she just nodded, not lifting her head quite yet. As her emotions simmered down, she was left with a profound embarrassment at having opened up to him like that. Mercifully, Hook took this as his cue to leave.

“Well, I’d better be off,” he said, putting down his coffee mug and standing up. “Look, Regina, I’m glad you called me. I know I didn’t really make anything better, but ... if I’m honest, it’s good for me to get to talk about this, too. Let’s … let’s do this again.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks for coming over, Killian.” At her use of his given name, he broke into a wide grin, and Regina gave him a half smile. She did trust him, and he knew that. He trusted her as well, and that was a good thing, despite everything else.


	12. Complicated love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting lots of writing done this week. Still figuring out how this is going to end, but I wanted to move things along anyway.

When Emma knocked on the door not half an hour later, Regina was no less nervous than when she’d invited Hook in. She had no idea if he and Emma had spoken, and she wasn’t entirely sure she knew how she was going to say what she needed to say. But she opened the door and tried to act natural.

Emma brushed past her as soon as the door was open, pushing it closed behind her. She didn’t say a word, but instead scooped Regina into a hug, burying her face in the crook of her neck and sighing deeply. She kissed her neck a couple of times, and then brought her lips up to Regina’s, kissing her with a passion that took Regina’s breath away. When they finally parted, Emma grinned at her and led her over to sit on the couch. Regina was too flustered to do anything but follow.

“What was that for?” she said breathlessly.

“For leaving when I asked you to yesterday, even though I could see how much it hurt you to walk away.”

Regina felt herself blush, and a part of her heart sang to know that Emma had noticed that she was upset. “I saw you for dinner three hours later,” she pointed out, but they both knew that wasn’t the same.

Emma leaned in close. “I know, but I didn’t get to kiss you then.” Regina smiled and closed the distance, kissing her back, more tenderly this time.

Emma leaned back into the couch, fiddling with Regina’s hair with one hand and resting the other on her knee. 

“How are you today?” she asked quietly.

Regina hesitated. Half an hour ago she’d been ready to yell at Emma as soon as she walked in. But her loving presence and the way she looked at Regina with absolute adoration made everything hazy. But she needed to do this.

“I invited Killian over for coffee this afternoon.”

“You did?” Emma’s surprise was so genuine, Regina knew she hadn’t talked to her husband yet. Good. She wanted to be the one to relay that conversation.

“I did.”

“How was that?”

“It was good.” Regina smiled, and began to trace little circles on the inside of Emma’s wrist. Emma shivered at the touch. “We mostly talked about you.”

Emma narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know whether to be flattered by that or nervous.”

Regina laughed. “You should be flattered.”

“What did you talk about?”

Regina took a deep breath. “Well, a lot of things, actually. But mostly about how none of us know what this is going to look like long term. And how hard it is to have to keep it all secret.”

Emma squeezed her knee, but made no attempt to say anything, so Regina went on.

“And … well, it helped me realize that I need to tell you how I feel. Sometimes … sometimes I miss you, especially at night. And I have no idea what to do with that, but there it is.”

Emma’s face twisted in concern, and she sat back, keeping her hand tangled in Regina’s hair. 

“Regina,” she whispered.

But before she could say another word, a swirl of red smoke wound down and none other than Mr. Gold appeared right in Regina’s living room. Regina jumped up, ripping herself away from Emma as fast as she could.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

But he just grabbed her arm and said “I need your help.” 

She tried to say something, but found herself immediately enveloped in his magic, and deposited in the back of his shop. Emma had been brought over, too, and they both opened their mouths to berate him, but he stopped them and pointed to the cot in the corner.

His son, Gideon, now just under two years old, lay there with his head on his mother’s lap, pale as death. Regina forgot everything else as she rushed to the child’s side.

“What happened?”

“He got a hold of this.” Gold held out a wand, and Regina’s heart sank. 

“What is that?” Emma stepped over and took the wand.

“It’s the Black Fairy’s wand,” said Gold, his voice expressionless. 

“You kept it here?” Emma hissed. “Why would you do that?”

Gold started to answer, but Regina stopped him, putting a hand on Emma’s arm. “Now is not the time. We need to act fast to save Gideon.”

Emma knelt down next to her. “What do we need to do?”

Regina put her hand on the boy’s chest and focused in on the magic radiating from it. It was the darkest of magic, and it was eating away at him slowly but surely. She turned to Emma. 

“Give me your hand. Just let me tap into your magic, OK? I’m going to see if I can siphon it out of him.”

Emma nodded and grasped Regina’s hand. Regina closed her eyes and pulled at the dark magic surrounding the boy. It responded, traveling up her arm and into her system. She gasped and broke the connection. That was some powerful dark magic. Emma squeezed her hand, and she nodded, trying again. This time she got it as far as her palm where Emma’s hands were joined, but as soon as it touched Emma it rebounded and the shockwave blew both of them back.

Gold immediately grabbed Regina’s shoulder. “Don’t you dare make this worse,” he growled.

“I am not making this worse, Rumple. I’m trying to pull the darkness out of him. Give me some time.”

“He doesn’t have time! I can’t help him – it has to be you. Do something," he snarled.

Regina ignored him and turned to Belle. “I need you to get him out of here,” she said pointedly. Belle looked from Regina to Rumple, and then eased herself out from under her son’s head.

“Come on, Rumple,” she said gently. “Let’s let them work.” She turned and kissed Gideon, then took Emma’s hand for a moment. “Please, save my son,” she said, her voice breaking. 

Emma nodded, and ushered the two of them through the curtain. She walked up behind Regina and placed a hand on her back.

“Tell me what to do.”

Regina turned to her. “I need you to pull the magic out of him with me. And it needs to be done using your own dark magic. I don’t think it will respond to light magic – it’s too dark.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Emma whispered.

“You have to, Emma. Do you have your touchstone?”

Emma nodded.

“Hold tight to it. This is the darkest magic I’ve ever encountered. And what we need to do is pull it out of Gideon, and funnel it into something.”

She looked around, and saw the wand still sitting on the ground. She picked it up. Might as well put it back where it came from.

She and Emma sat on either side of the boy. Regina decided it would be better if she didn’t touch Emma, to give her a better chance at accessing her own magic. They looked at each other, nodded, and then each put a hand on Gideon and closed their eyes.

Regina pulled at the magic settling itself in the boy’s body, and coaxed it out of him, luring it with her own darkness. She felt a small trickle heading the other way, and knew that Emma was doing the same. But soon she felt her magic surge towards Emma, and the resulting shockwave tossed both of them back against the wall. Regina climbed back over to make sure Gideon was alright, and then she whipped her head around to Emma.

“Concentrate, Emma. You need to make this work. I need you – I can’t do it alone.”

“I’m trying!” Emma shot back at her. She got up from the cot and started to shake out her body. “Just give me a minute, OK?”

Regina sat quietly and watched her pace around the shop. She felt her instinct to go and comfort her war with her instinct to keep yelling, so she concentrated on sitting perfectly still. Eventually Emma sat back down, and glanced over at Regina.

“OK, I’m ready. Let’s try this again.”

Regina looked at her and nodded. She placed the wand between them, made sure Emma had her touchstone, and closed her eyes to follow the magic now swirling closer and closer to the young boy’s heart. She pulled at it, and felt it funnel through her hands into the wand. When she heard Emma gasp, Regina extended her awareness and could tell that the magic was moving out through her, too. Satisfied that this was working for the moment, she focused in more closely on the task at hand. 

Her hand began to shake, and the flow of magic slowed as she fatigued. With a final push, she sealed the dark magic into the wand, and opened her eyes. Emma’s eyes were screwed shut, and her whole body vibrated with the effort she was exerting. Regina longed to put a hand on her, but knew that would only backfire, literally. So she waited. But eventually her worry got the better of her, and she called Emma’s name. She got no response. She tried again, louder this time. Again, no response. 

She looked down, and saw that the touchstone had slipped from Emma’s palm. Suddenly panicking, Regina picked up the stone and held it directly over Emma’s heart, using her light magic to send its power into her. Emma’s eyes flew open with a start, and she yanked her hands away from Gideon, breathing heavily and looking around her with a wild look on her face. When her gaze finally focused in on Regina’s hand on her chest, she clapped both of her hands over it, and pressed into the stone as hard as she could.

“Emma?” said Regina again.

“I’m OK,” she whispered, swallowing hard. “I’m OK.” She sat there for a moment more, catching her breath. “Thank you,” she said finally.

Regina nodded, and then tentatively brought her hand up to brush Emma’s hair out of her face. “Did you take all that dark magic in?” she asked.

“I… I must have.” She loosened her hands and slipped one under Regina’s palm to take the stone from her. “I dropped my touchstone, and I think I just sucked all the darkness right into me.”

Regina picked up the wand. “First things first, then. I want you to funnel as much of it as you can into this wand. I’ll seal it back up once you do.”

Emma nodded, and took the wand in the hand that didn’t have the stone in it. She closed her eyes again, and her hand began to shake. Regina could see the dark magic sliding out of Emma’s palm. When the stream slowed to a trickle, she murmured “that’s enough,” and waved a hand to seal the magic in place. Next she placed a hand on Gideon, and found that his system was clear. When she looked closer, she could see a little color returning to his cheeks.

She took Emma’s hand. “Stay here. I’m going to get his parents.”

“Is he OK?”

“Yes, Emma. We did it. He’s going to be OK.”

When Regina returned with Rumple and Belle, Emma had gone. She assured them their son was going to be fine, and left as soon as she could. She walked up and down Main Street, but Emma was nowhere to be found. She pulled out her phone to call her, but stopped when she spied a flash of blonde hair walking towards the docks. Regina hurried over and eventually found Emma sitting on what she’d come to think of as their bench, for how many times they’d sat there together.

She walked up and sat down without a word. Emma immediately turned away, and Regina could see that she was crying. So Regina just put a hand on Emma’s and sat in silence. She knew that for as close as they were, Emma didn’t have an easy time talking about things when she was upset like this. It’s why the deepest and most meaningful conversations they had were late at night with the light off. There was something about the cover of darkness that made them both feel more comfortable saying what really mattered. 

Eventually Emma pulled her hand away to wipe her eyes. She turned to Regina and wrapped her arms around her, putting her head on her shoulder. Regina didn’t react for a moment. They generally didn’t touch each other in public. But she mentally shook herself and pulled Emma closer. She nuzzled gently into her hair and held her. 

“How do you do it, Regina?” Emma mumbled into her jacket.

“Do what?”

“Keep the darkness in check?”

Regina glanced around to ensure that nobody was around, and placed a quick kiss on Emma’s head. “The same way you do. It’s a matter of being intentional about using it, and always keeping an eye on it.”

“I thought I knew how to do that.”

“You do, love. You just lost it for a moment.”

Emma pulled her head up and looked at her inquisitively. “One afternoon with Killian and now you’re talking like him?”

Regina blinked at her, running over what she’d said in her mind. She blushed and didn’t respond. Emma smiled finally, though, and she reached down to take both of Regina’s hands in hers.

“Thank you for bringing me back,” she said quietly.

“I’m going to make a necklace for that stone,” said Regina. “And you are never going to take it off.”

Emma laughed. “Good idea.”

She turned to look out at the water, pulling Regina’s hands into her lap. “I heard what you said earlier, you know,” she said.

“We don’t have to talk about that right now, Emma,” Regina cut in. They did need to have that conversation, but watching Emma succumb to the darkness like that, not to mention the sight of that little boy on the brink of destruction made her want to just hold her family close, in all of their complication and challenge. So she just inched closer to Emma until their whole sides were touching and leaned into her.

Emma turned to look at her, her eyes misty again. “But I will come back to it, Regina. I want you to be happy, and I want to be part of that happiness.”

Regina nodded and leaned in to kiss her. As soon as their lips met, though, she remembered where they were and tried to pull away. But Emma put up a hand to her face and gently drew her back. 

“Nobody’s around,” she said, and leaned forward to kiss her sweetly. 

Regina closed her eyes and sank into her. This: this closeness, this love, the spark of their magic always under the surface when they touched. This had brought her to life more than she’d ever expected. And Regina knew that it was indeed worth all of the processing and figuring out. Yes, she also wished that sometimes it could be just her and Emma and Henry. But like Hook had said, nothing with them had ever been simple, and simple wasn’t what she’d signed up for.

An idea popped into her head, and she stood up suddenly, grabbing Emma’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go get Killian and Henry and go out on the water. I think we need our family around us this evening.”

Emma’s eyes misted over again even as she smiled. She stood and pulled Regina into her arms one more time. “I love you,” she murmured.

Regina’s breath hitched. “I love you, too, Emma.”

***

After assuring Henry and Hook about ten times that they were both fine, all four of them walked down to the docks and boarded the Jolly Roger. Regina smiled to herself, remembering that first night on the ship all those months ago that had left her beyond confused by Emma's attentions. That confusion hadn't entirely dissipated, but right now she was just content to have the people that mattered most to her close at hand and happy to spend time together. 

Hook and Emma had been teaching Henry how to sail, and he was taking to it much faster than Regina. So much faster, in fact, that after a few minutes of her trying to be helpful, he very kindly but pointedly suggested she "just take it easy, after the long day you've had." Ignoring the fact that Emma had been through the same thing, Regina agreed and settled in to watch her family scurry between the ropes, Emma's magic holding things together just enough to let them be successful, without taking over entirely. Regina sighed. Emma was so good with Henry these days, and frankly so was Hook. They were great parents of a teenager. Regina narrowed her eyes. She had never thought of Hook – Killian – as a parent. He often acted more like an older brother than a father figure. But that didn't mean that he didn't fill that role in Henry's life in certain ways. 

"Lost in thought, babe?" Regina jumped as Emma's voice sounded right behind her. She laughed softly.

"I suppose I was."

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina, standing behind her and just off to one side so she could lean her chin on her shoulder as her fingers came to rest just above Regina's heart. Regina hummed and leaned her head back into Emma's.

"What are you thinking about?" Emma asked quietly.

"Henry," Regina said with a smile. "And how lucky he is to have so many people who love him."

Emma squeezed her a little tighter. "He really is."

They stood there in silence for a minute, gazing out at the waning sunlight as the ship picked up speed away from the harbor. Regina reached out her hands to steady herself. She would never have "sea legs" like the rest of them; she laughed out loud at this thought.

"What?" Emma asked.

"I'm just thinking about how comfortable all three of you are on this ship. And how terrible a sailor I am."

Emma joined in her laughter. "It's true, you really are terrible."

Regina swatted her hand. "Hey!"

"Luckily, that's not why any of us love you." Emma kissed her cheek sweetly.

"Nice save," Regina replied, but she couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice.

The two of them turned as they heard Hook approaching, and Regina was surprised when Emma didn't let go of her. She unconsciously settled back into her arms and smiled shyly at him.

"Henry and I were thinking we could sail for a bit, and then weigh anchor and get some star gazing in. Sound like a plan?"

Regina nodded. It sounded like a perfect plan, in fact.

"Are you good for a little while without me?" Emma asked.

"Sure, love," Hook replied. "Though when we tack I'll need you again."

"Just holler." She held out a hand to him, the other one still wrapped around Regina's shoulders. He took it and kissed her fingers gallantly. All three of them laughed. 

"Love you," Emma said as she brushed a finger over his chin playfully. He grinned and turned to join Henry back at the wheel.

Emma resumed her position behind Regina, kissing her neck gently as she did. 

"Thank you," Regina murmured, not specifying but assuming Emma knew what she meant.

"Of course, Regina." Emma moved one hand down to trace slow circled on Regina's stomach. Regina shivered under the delicate touch.

"I want you to know how important you are to me," Emma continued, and Regina stopped breathing for a moment. 

"I know, Emma," she said finally. "And it means a lot that you'd choose to be here with me right now."

"To be honest, right at this moment, the thought of letting go of you feels unbearable. So I'm glad it makes you happy, because I'm here entirely for selfish reasons."

Regina laughed. "I would hope so. I don't want you around out of obligation."

Emma unclasped her arms to turn Regina towards her. She traced a line down Regina's cheek and then placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

"I choose you, Regina, every time I show up at your door. I want you to know that."

Regina's voice caught in her throat, so she just nodded. Emma's words settled into her heart and she told herself to remember this feeling for those times that she hesitated to call and interrupt Emma, or when she started to think she was deluding herself as to how strongly they felt about each other. She leaned into Emma and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Thank you," she said again. "I … needed to hear that. And I still have questions about how we're going to make this work long term. But …" she took a deep breath and tried to find the words to say what she was feeling. 

None came, though, so instead, she threaded her fingers into long wavy hair and brought her lips to Emma's. Her heart glowed as they kissed, and when she pulled back to take a breath, she realized with a start that in fact her heart was literally, physically, glowing. She gasped and stepped back, the glow subsiding as she did. 

"What just happened?" Emma asked warily.

As Regina got over the shock she smiled and took a step back in so she was touching Emma again. "Light magic," she whispered, and leaned in to kiss her again. This time, she intentionally brought her magic up, and felt the little shock of electricity as Emma's rose to meet hers where their lips touched. Emma moaned and pulled her closer.

Regina heard Hook's voice carry over to them from the aft deck, asking for Emma's help with the main sail. Regina pulled her magic back in, and stepped back, ignoring how quickly her body missed the contact as she did. Judging by the way Emma swayed towards her, she was feeling the same way. So Regina just smiled.

"Go help," she said, and this time it was Emma who couldn't speak and answered only with a nod before she walked away. Regina wandered over so she could watch the flurry of activity as they tacked the ship and changed directions, content to sit back and observe while providing commentary that made everyone else laugh and occasionally glare at her. Henry and Hook only got encouragement, though, while Emma got "helpful" suggestions. She thought Emma would appreciate the teasing attention, and if the blush creeping up her pale cheeks was any indication, she was right.

They finally weighed anchor and settled down under a sky full of stars, nestled among the cushions that Killian once again brought up from below deck. Regina sat down next to Henry, and Emma came to sit beside her. Killian closed their little circle by plopping down between Emma and Henry. An easy silence descended as they gazed up into the twinkling night sky.

At some point, Killian started to point out constellations, which turned into Henry asking about celestial navigation, which took the two of them back up to the aft deck to break out the sextant and star charts. Emma shifted closer and laid her head on Regina's lap as they chuckled about "the boys." Regina stroked her hair contentedly.

"Can I come home with you tonight?" Emma asked after a while.

It was out of the blue, and Regina faltered for a moment before responding. "Of course," she spluttered. "Yes, please," she tried again with more conviction. After that kiss and feeling their magic entangle, she couldn't imagine going home alone, and she was beyond grateful that Emma brought it up first. 

After a few minutes, they stood up to check on the navigators, and Emma let Killian know she was going home with Regina. Regina noted that it was very much a statement, not a question. 

"You know what," he said, looking at Emma and then Regina in turn. "Why don't Henry and I spend the night out here? We could work on those navigation skills and then get ourselves back to shore in the morning."

Henry's eyes lit up and he was bouncing on his toes as he looked at his mothers eagerly. "Can I, moms?"

Emma turned to Regina, and they nodded at each other. "Sure, kid," she replied. "Killian, you remember how I rigged things last month?"

He nodded, and Regina chose not to ask. She trusted him enough at this point to keep their son safe, and she knew she wouldn't understand if she asked them to explain anyway.

"That should do nicely, love."

Emma walked away to cast some enchantment on the ship to make it easy for two people to sail.

Killian turned to Regina.  "You want us to get you back closer?" 

Regina shook her head. "No, I'll be fine to just poof us home."

Henry laughed.

"What?"

"You've been spending too much time with Emma. You said 'poof us home.'"

Regina rolled her eyes as Emma returned, grinning sheepishly. "You, Miss Swan, are a bad influence on me."

"The worst," Emma replied in a low voice, and Regina took her leave of the rest of the family as quickly as possible, as that tone tugged at her insides in an incredibly arousing way.


	13. Sex with magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly smut. With some feelings. And magic. Because I wanted to.

Regina pushed open her front door, and went about the usual coming home things – kicking off her shoes, putting her keys in the bowl by the door, gathering stray items from the entryway and putting them back in place. She didn’t quite notice that Emma was doing the same thing until she turned around in the kitchen to see her prepping the coffee maker for the next morning. Regina just stood and watched for a moment, a faint smile playing on her face.

“When did you get so comfortable in my kitchen?” she asked finally, coming over and snaking her hands around Emma’s waist. She kissed her shoulder, and Emma hummed contentedly.

“I dunno. Sometime after I started waking up here a few times a week.”

“Mmm.  I like it when you wake up here.”

Emma turned around in her arms and threaded her fingers together behind Regina’s neck. 

Regina pulled her closer. “And I like it when you’re naked in my bed,” she said.

Emma laughed. “Is that an invitation?”

Regina just nodded, and Emma leaned in close until their faces were inches from each other. “Well then, I accept,” Emma whispered before capturing Regina’s lips in a passionate kiss. Regina kissed her back hungrily, nibbling on Emma’s lip as she pulled away. She took Emma’s hand and led her up the stairs. Emma grabbed her arm with her other hand and rested her chin on Regina’s shoulder as they walked. Regina smiled at the easy way they fit together like this. After so many months of learning each other’s bodies, she felt like Emma was familiar to her in a way very few people had ever been.

Emma stopped off in the bathroom, leaving Regina to tidy her room and try to breathe normally. As easy as it was to be together, the anticipation of what she wanted to do tonight was making her heart beat faster.

As soon as Emma came back, Regina grabbed her by the hands and led her to sit on the bed. Regina swept Emma’s hair back and peppered her neck with sweet kisses until Emma was sighing and running her hands up and down Regina’s back. Regina sat back and found her gaze.

“I want to do this with magic tonight,” she said, deciding that no preamble or explanation was necessary. Emma’s quick intake of breath told her she was right. That kiss they’d shared on the ship had awakened desires in her that went far beyond the usual sexual arousal, and, judging by her reaction, Emma felt the same way.

“Not the actual spell we did,” Regina clarified. “Just, adding magic in like we did earlier.” 

Emma nodded eagerly. “That was incredible, that kiss. I want more of that.”

Regina laughed. “And I want to give you more of that.”

Emma’s eyes darkened at that, and she melted forward to capture Regina’s lips once again. Regina pressed her backwards, both of them shifting until Emma was stretched out on her back with Regina lying on top of her. Regina braced herself with one hand as she brought the other up in front of her. Emma brought her up as well, so that their palms were touching. Regina felt Emma's magic begin to glow between them. She matched it with her own, pushing it gently down into Emma’s arm, as she coaxed Emma’s into her own body. They both sighed as their magic began to flow freely between them. 

Regina laced their fingers together, bending down to touch her mouth to Emma’s fingers for a moment before kissing her on the lips. As before, the kiss caused a surge of magic to run through them, and Regina was grateful to be lying down this time, as it made every part of her tremble for a moment. She could feel Emma doing the same, so she broke the kiss and looked at her.

“You OK?”

“Yes,” Emma breathed. “Kiss me again.”

Regina did so, gladly. This time their magic was already pulsing in waves through both of their bodies, so the extra jolt when their lips met was more manageable. 

As they kissed, their hands started to wander along each other’s bodies, slipping gently into and underneath clothing. Every time their skin came into contact, a little burst of magic accompanied it. It was delicious, really, not knowing where the next one would come. They were in no hurry this evening, so happily let this go on for a while. 

Eventually, though, Regina wanted more. She pushed her fingers decisively under Emma’s shirt, pulling her lips away at the same time so she could slip it up and over Emma's head. As she sat them up to get her bra off, she was a little surprised to see that they were, indeed, glowing with magic. It was subtle, and could easily be mistaken for moonlight coming through the window. But she knew what it was, and it made Emma’s skin look even more beautiful and enticing to her. Regina bent and kissed her way along her chest, down her belly, and gently but eagerly pulled her pants off. 

As she ran her hands up those strong legs, she heard Emma murmur her name above her. Regina bit her lip. There really was nothing quite like hearing her lover say her name like that. It made her stomach drop and her temperature rise. She coaxed Emma’s panties off her, delighted to see how wet they were already. She knew hers were as well, and she suddenly needed more than anything to feel their naked bodies pressing together. So she sat back and practically ripped her clothes off. Emma reached out a hand to help, but ended up just resting it on her sternum while she moved around. 

When she was finally out of all of her clothing, she crawled back over Emma, pushing her down to her back. Regina fitted one thigh between Emma’s legs and then rested her weight down. Her breasts lowered onto Emma’s ribcage, and they both moaned at the contact. Emma’s hands flowed up and down her back, pressing her closer, then skimmed over her ass, lightly at first, and then digging into it as they both moaned again. 

Regina could feel herself getting lost in the sensation of their bodies pressing together, magic rippling just under the surface. And she made no attempt to pull back. This was everything she wanted. 

She shifted her weight up so she could attach her lips to Emma’s collarbone, sucking gently on that one spot she knew would drive her wild. Emma did not disappoint, and Regina grinned as her moans got louder and louder. Regina let up on that spot and kissed her way down the side of Emma’s ribcage. As she did, she whispered what could be called sweet nothings, but at this moment felt like everythings: “you’re beautiful,” “your skin feels so good,” “I love you.”

“Regina,” breathed Emma, grabbing the back of her head. “Regina, more. Please.”

Regina hummed into her skin and turned her attention to Emma’s breasts. She ghosted a hand over each, earning a groan. She gave in, licking a slow path from the base of one all the way up to the top. When she got there, she closed her lips around the already alert nipple and sucked. Emma cried out above her, and jerked so hard, Regina got worried and sat up.

“Too much?”

Emma’s eyes fluttered open. “No,” she panted. “No, it’s … a lot, but it’s not too much.” She groaned. “I think I just need to make noise tonight.”

Regina chuckled. “Please do. I love the noises you make.”

Emma flopped her head back on the pillow and pulled Regina back down onto her chest. Regina took the hint and returned her attention to her breasts, this time flicking her tongue out to tease her a few times before sucking hard on her nipple. She could feel Emma’s magic skittering just below the surface as she worked her mouth along the sensitive flesh. Regina concentrated for a moment to bring up more of her own magic, letting it play along the connection between their bodies. Emma’s moans and cries got even louder when she did this, and Regina wondered for half a second if someone walking by could hear them. She quickly let that thought go, though, focusing back on the landscape of skin beneath her hands.

Regina took her time, covering Emma with kisses and caresses, lighting up every surface of her body with magic as she went. She could feel the magic sparking in her hands and lips, which tingled with the sensation of touching. It was unlike anything they’d done before. It was sexual, of course, but it was more than that; it was playful and deep and real and everything their relationship was based on, in physical form. 

By the time Regina got her fingers between Emma’s thighs, it almost felt irrelevant to try to work her up to an orgasm. But as soon as she touched the wetness that was dripping down Emma’s legs, and heard the way Emma practically wailed as she did, she knew they had only just gotten started. Regina rubbed slow circles through her folds and watched with delight as Emma suddenly got quiet. She started to pulse her hips, and Regina took the hint and pushed two fingers into her at the same time as finding her clit easily with her thumb. It only took about a minute, during which time Emma practically held her breath. And then she suddenly arched completely off the bed, letting out a moaning cry that sent shivers through Regina’s body as well as she felt Emma’s magic vibrate within her. Emma kicked and jerked around as she rode through the orgasm, Regina doing her best to keep her fingers where she wanted them. When Emma finally collapsed down to the bed, she immediately grabbed Regina’s face for what could be called a kiss, but felt a lot more like panting into each other’s mouths. 

“Regina,” she said, catching her breath and starting to kiss her face, her neck, her chest – anything she could reach. “I’ve never felt anything like that.”

“I know.”

“I want you to feel that.”

Emma reached her hand up between Regina’s legs, but though she was more than ready for her touch, Regina stopped her.

“I want…” she said quietly before trailing off. She was still shy about asking for what she wanted, even though Emma had told her over and over again that she found it an incredible turn-on to hear Regina say what she wanted to do during sex. 

Emma turned her head to kiss her forearm. “Tell me what you want, baby,” she said, deliberately looking at the stop she was kissing, and not at Regina’s face. This willingness to let her be shy about it but still encourage her made her bold enough to say it.

“I want your tongue on me, and mine on you at the same time.”

Emma blinked at her for a moment, then understanding flashed through her eyes and she bit her lip.

“Oh fuck yes,” she breathed, guiding Regina up to straddle her face. Regina leaned down to bury her head between Emma’s thighs, breathing in deeply. She found Emma’s scent intoxicating, and delighted in having her in her mouth like this. She flicked out her tongue, and at the same time felt Emma’s mouth make contact with her cunt. Regina moaned and lost all coherent thought. She sucked and licked and held on tight, aware that she was bucking her hips wildly, but unable to spare any attention to stop it. 

As they spiraled up together, Regina could feel their magic running through their bodies like a circuit. It was exhilarating, and, had she been able to think twice about it, a little frightening. Her body hummed with a higher energy than it ever had before. It didn’t take long before it coalesced into an orgasm that made her shudder, but did nothing to relieve the ache that had built up. She ground her hips down onto Emma’s mouth as she moaned wantonly, needing more but no longer able to string words together to ask for it. Emma sucked on her hard, only letting up when she, too, cried out in ecstasy. 

Regina lay her head on Emma’s thigh and tried to catch her breath, still almost painfully aroused. Emma recovered quickly, took one look at Regina, and sat up behind her. She pushed on the backs of her thighs a little.

“Scoot down, baby,” she murmured. Regina complied, collapsing down onto her elbows with her ass in the air. Normally she might feel embarrassed about this position, but at the moment all she could think of was getting Emma’s mouth and fingers back on her. Emma obliged, pushing two fingers in and then quickly replacing them with three. Regina could feel how incredibly wet and open she was, and she pushed her hips back to meet Emma’s hand as she thrust into her. Emma reached her other hand around her hips, feeling around until she put a finger on Regina’s clit. Regina screamed and pushed herself into Emma's hand, rocking her hips back again and again.

“Yes, Regina, yes.” Emma chanted, and the sound of her name took Regina over the edge. She collapsed down onto the bed, writhing and panting and moaning, until all of a sudden she was sobbing. Emma had pulled her fingers out and was resting her head on her back when she figured out what was happening.

“Regina?” she said, her voice concerned.

Regina just kept crying. It was as if everything she’d been feeling over the past few weeks came up and out in great shuddering sobs.

“Oh, baby, it’s OK. Come here.” Emma practically picked her up to turn her around, and Regina wrapped her arms around her as soon as she’d gotten settled sitting across her lap, crying even harder as she did.

“Regina,” Emma’s voice was firm now. “Give me your hand. I’m going to get our magic back into our own bodies, OK?”

Regina just nodded and presented her hand. Emma took it. “Just relax. I’ve got you.”

Regina closed her eyes and felt the fever pitch of magic fade away. Emma’s magic flowed out of her while her own returned. She took a deep breath as it settled back down, slowly collecting below her heart where it usually sat, leaving her limbs feeling heavy. She took another deep breath and felt her tears subside. Right. Sobbing uncontrollably wasn’t something she did. And yet somehow with their magic and the physical sensations of her body vibrating so intensely, it had felt like the only thing she could do. She looked up as Emma leaned in, kissing her cheeks and wiping away the tears.

“You OK?” Emma asked gently.

Regina nodded. “I’m sorry. That was … very intense. And I’m not quite sure what happened.”

Emma laid her cheek against Regina’s. “Don’t apologize,” she whispered. “It was very intense. And kind of overwhelming. I don’t blame you at all for crying.”

Regina stroked her hair and pressed their faces together more firmly. “But a good kind of intense, right?”

“Absolutely.”

They stayed like that for a moment, just breathing.

“Regina?”

“Hmmmm?”

"I want us to figure this out. I want us to find a way to make this work long-term."

Regina shifted so she could look at Emma.

"I do, too, Emma. So much." She put her head down on Emma's chest, needing to look away to feel comfortable bringing up what she knew she wanted to say.

"I can't hide out in secret like this for the rest of my life," she said quietly. "I think you and Killian and I can work out how to be … whatever we are to each other, but I just don't know how we would ever tell anyone. But I also can't keep pretending we're just friends everywhere we go."

Emma ran her hand lightly over Regina's back, which was still slightly sweaty and warm. 

"I know," Emma said. "I don't like pretending, either."

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

"I don't know what the solution is, Regina," Emma said finally, "but I have to believe there is one."

Regina nodded and kissed the spot on Emma's chest that her head was resting on. "Right now, I believe that too."

"But you don't always?"

Regina hesitated. "No. I don't. Sometimes I think I've gotten myself in too deep, and I should just get out now before it gets any harder to walk away."

She looked up into Emma's brilliant green eyes and smiled sadly. "But sometimes I think it's too late, and that I've already fallen for you."

"Regina," Emma whispered as she bent her head forward. "I fell for you a long time ago."

Regina leaned up to kiss her, and let herself relax into the warmth of their bodies pressing together. Shortly afterwards they lay down again, and despite the thoughts and fears still running around her mind, Regina drifted quickly off to sleep.


	14. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I had abandoned this work and now I'm back with an actual idea of how to end it! But for now, you get pretty much pure fluff as I write more.

Regina supposed she should stop being surprised by odd invitations coming her way from the Swan-Jones household. But really, a night out with Killian and his drinking buddies was out there, even for them. Who would ever look at Regina Mills, the former Evil Queen herself, and think “I’d like get drunk and play darts with her”? Apparently Killian Jones had. Or maybe he felt sorry for her, after their heart to heart a few weeks back. Whatever the reason, he’d done it, and despite a million reasons not to go, Regina was at this very moment trying to decide what in the hell to wear to such an evening. Standing in her underwear in front of her closet, she eventually gave up and called Emma.

“Hey you!”

Regina sighed. The sound of Emma’s voice so happy to hear from her would never get old.

“I have a highly embarrassing question to ask you,” she said warily.

“Ooh, fun.”

Regina rolled her eyes and sighed. “Don’t get too excited. I can’t decide what to wear tonight.”

Regina sighed again while Emma chuckled. She heard Killian in the background, and then Emma’s voice, slightly muffled, repeating her question.

“Emma!” she hissed. “Don’t ask him!” But it was too late.

“Killian says to just wear something comfortable, although I don’t think he has any idea how unhelpful that is.”

Regina was in the middle of complaining that Emma wasn’t supposed to be making this harder when Emma cut in with “Hold on, I’ll come over.”

She hung up, and in the next moment appeared in Regina’s bedroom in a swirl of smoke. Regina raised her eyebrows. “You could have just told me what to wear over the phone,” she said, trying not to sound whiny, but clearly failing, if the amused look on Emma’s face was anything to go on.

Emma grinned and stepped forward to wrap her arms around Regina.

“Where’s the fun in that?” she murmured, kissing Regina’s neck a few times.

Regina sighed, but it was a contented sound this time, and she slipped her hands under the hem of Emma’s shirt, just to hold her for a second.

“I feel so silly,” she admitted. “It’s just … nobody invites me out for things like this. I really don’t know how to approach it.”

Emma kissed her cheek. “Just relax, you’ll be fine. Besides, I happen to know you have excellent hand-eye coordination. I wouldn’t be surprised if you cleaned up at darts tonight.”

Regina huffed and pulled herself away from Emma and towards her closet. “We’ll see,” she said. “Now what in the hell do I wear?”

 

***

45 minutes later, Regina arrived at the bar in her carefully curated “comfortable” outfit, which ended up consisting of a pair of skinny jeans, a simple black tank top, and one of Emma’s button-down shirts that she was always leaving at Regina’s place, buttoned only halfway. She felt decidedly uncomfortable in the outfit, but she knew she at least looked the part, and that was something. Killian and his buddies were just starting on their first round, and he greeted her warmly. The others had clearly been prepped, because nobody batted an eye when she showed up, although most of them still gave her a wide berth. They weren’t rude, just wary, and she figured that probably had more to do with the fact that half of them were town employees who technically worked for her than anything else. Which was fine. A couple beers in, everyone stopped caring so much.

And it turned out that Emma was right - she was exceptionally good at darts, and she pretty quickly got a queue of men eager to try to beat her. When she beat Killian solidly, he stayed by her side, quietly calming any hurt feelings from men who didn’t like to lose. By the time she’d beaten every single one of them at least once, the general feeling had shifted, and they all seemed keen to claim her as one of their own. Somewhere around the fourth round of drinks, Regina realized she was drunk. Somewhere around the fifth drink, she realized she didn’t care. There were more darts games, a couple of feeble attempts at arm wrestling, and far too many lewd songs she didn’t know, but clapped along with anyway. Eventually, the liquor started to catch up with them, and one by one they made their exit.

Regina and Killian decided to walk home - she didn’t trust her magic any more than her driving at this point. He was still singing, and about a block away from the bar she turned to him.

“Teach me that!” she said, much louder than she’d meant to. “I want to be able to sing along next time.”

“Aye!” he almost yelled back. “Repeat after me, m’lady.”

And she did, all the way back to her house. They were still singing when she walked in, kicked off her shoes, and flopped on the couch. When she realized she’d brought them to her house and not his, she started laughing and couldn’t stop.

“What?” he asked. “What’s so funny?”

“I didn’t mean to take you home with me.”

He looked around, and did a double take, as if just noticing where he was. Regina laughed even harder. Who knew Captain Hook was so funny?

“Wouldn’t be the first time I accidentally ended up in a beautiful woman’s house,” he said with a wink.

She snorted. “I bet you were quite the ladies man in your day.”

“My day? How old do you think I am?”

“Old,” she deadpanned. “You’re an old married son-of-a-bitch.” She burst into giggles again, and this time he laughed along with her.

“Ah yes, the old ball and chain,” he said in an exaggerated tone of frustration. 

“Hey!” Regina said in mock anger. “That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.”

This time it was Killian who dissolved into laughter. “My wife … is your girlfriend!” he said between peals of laughter. Regina joined right on in. 

“I’m dating your wife!”

Just then Killian’s phone went off, and he answered it without looking. Only one person would be calling this late at night.

“Wife!” he yelled into the phone. “I’m here with your girlfriend!” 

And they dissolved into laughter again.

“Put it on speaker,” Regina said with a grin. He looked at her blankly. She grabbed the phone and tapped the button just in time to hear Emma say the word “drunk.”

“Errr, yes. Quite drunk, in fact,” Killian responded.

“Emma, your husband got me drunk,” Regina growled towards the phone.

“I can hear that,” Emma said, clearly amused by the situation. “You’re both OK? Where are you?”

“We’re at Regina’s place,” Killian answered. “Want to join us?” He dropped his voice, and Regina couldn’t help but splutter into giggles at it.

“Uh, no. Thanks. I think I’ll stay here with our son,” Emma said, with a strong emphasis on the word ‘son.’ “You two have fun.”

“Oh we will,” Regina responded, her voice low like Killian’s had been. He laughed at her and tossed his feet up onto the coffee table.

“OK, not too much fun,” Emma said. “And for God’s sake drink some water before you go to sleep. I am NOT nursing both of your hangovers tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am,” Killian said at the same time Regina responded, “Good idea.”

When they both started giggling again, Regina could practically hear Emma rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone.

“OK, I’m going to sleep. Don’t do anything stupid. Love you both!”

And with that she hung up.

“Did you hear that, Captain?” Regina said, leaning her head back and staring up at the ceiling. “She loves us both.”

“Aye,” he said.

The mood in the room shifted, and Regina picked her head up to look at him. “We’re in this together, right?” she asked.

He nodded, understanding what she meant. She let her head drop back again.

“Good.”

Silence descended for a moment, and the fog of alcohol began to weigh on Regina. She really should get up and drink some water before she fell asleep right there. She was just mustering the strength to do that when Killian spoke up again.

“I think we should tell people,” he said.

Regina stopped what she was doing. “About us?” she asked.

He nodded, keeping his eyes closed as he spoke. “Maybe just a few at a time, but I think you two need that. And …” he opened his eyes to look at her. “As much as I appreciate what you and I have, I want to be able to talk about my family without hiding.”

Regina leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. “Really? Captain Hook wants to talk about his feelings with his friends?”

He smirked at her. “Don’t get any ideas,” he growled good-naturedly. “It’s not even that. I told some of the guys about teaching you to sail, and they just didn’t get why the three of us spend so much time together. It’s why I invited you out tonight. So they see that we’re friends. We are friends, right?”

Regina smiled at him, and it might have been the most genuine smile she’d ever thrown his way. “We are. I think we’re a lot more than that, but underneath it all, we’re friends.”

“Good.”

He closed his eyes again. Regina took the opportunity to stand up and sway towards the kitchen for two glasses of water. She deposited his on the table next to his feet, and nudged his knee to wake him up. She pointed at the water, which he gulped down with a nod of thanks.

“I have a guest bedroom, or you can sleep on the couch,” she said.

In answer, he turned so his feet were stretched out on the couch. She laughed, and turned to go upstairs. He reached out and caught her hand, pulling her gently back towards him.

“You’re a good woman, Regina,” he said quietly. “I see what Emma sees in you.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Likewise,” replied. 

He nodded and dropped her hand, and she turned and went upstairs. She drank another glass of water and crawled into bed. She wasn’t so drunk that she wouldn’t remember this in the morning, but even so, she went over that moment with Killian a few times until she’d committed the details to memory. Somehow she sensed it was important, and that something had shifted between them tonight, for the better.

 

***

Regina woke up to smell of bacon and coffee, which was at first delightful, and then immediately nauseating as her hangover caught up with her. She groaned and rolled over.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Emma’s voice floated over to her.

“Emma?” Regina mumbled into her pillow. “What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you’re both still alive,” Emma said as she pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed next to Regina. Regina hummed when Emma draped an arm around her and pulled her gently into her body. “Did you have fun?” she asked quietly.

“Last night? Yes. This morning? No.”

Emma chuckled. “That’ll happen with those guys.”

Regina rolled over to face her, cuddling into her chest and breathing deeply. There was something so comforting about the way Emma smelled, she thought, and then groaned at herself internally for being so love-struck.

“I heard they’re calling you the Dart Queen,” Emma said.

Regina smiled. “They better, after I wiped the floor with every single one of them.”

Emma laughed out loud this time. “That’s my girl.”

Regina peered up at her. “No,” she said. When Emma just looked puzzled, she clarified, “I may be your girlfriend, but I am definitely not ‘your girl.’”

Emma blushed and ducked her head. “Sorry,” she mumbled. 

Regina kissed her cheek. “It’s OK. I still love you.”

Emma smiled up at her. “You two were hilarious on the phone last. I don’t think I’ve ever heard either of you giggle that much.”

Regina smiled at the memory. “Killian started teaching me one of his lewd sea chanteys, and then we started laughing about how I’m dating his wife, and then, I don’t know, everything was funny.”

Emma shook her head. “Henry and Killian are making breakfast. You should come eat something.”

Regina groaned. 

“I know, baby, but I promise you’ll feel better once you do.”

Regina pouted up at her. 

“Sorry,” said Emma. “Is ‘baby’ OK?”

Regina bit her lip. “I like it,” she admitted, “but only when we’re alone, OK?”

Emma kissed the tip of her nose, making Regina smile even wider. “You got it.”

Regina dragged herself out of bed, and gratefully accepted the steaming mug of coffee that Emma poured for her. She perched on a stool and tried to will her head to stop pounding. After managing a few bites of toast and bacon, and a full glass of water she was feeling better enough to actually talk to the rest of her family, all three of whom found it hilarious how awful she looked. She tried to glare at them, but found she couldn’t stop herself from smiling, so the effect was completely lost. And she didn’t care one bit. Everything about the last 24 hours made her heart glow and feel like maybe, just maybe, this was all going to work out OK.

“OK, I gotta go to work,” Emma announced, glancing at her watch. She nudged Henry with her elbow. “You’ve got Nick’s birthday party tonight, right?” she asked.

Henry nodded, his mouth still stuffed full of food.

“I’ll see you back home no later than 11, then, OK?”

Henry rolled his eyes and nodded again, and Regina found her chest fairly bursting with pride over this interaction. Emma turned to Killian, placed a quick kiss on his lips, and mumbled a goodbye. Then she turned to Regina, and did the same thing. She then turned and sauntered out of the kitchen, leaving Regina flustered, happy, embarrassed, and still so incredibly hungover that she just sat there, waiting to see if anyone would comment on what just happened. Nobody did, but Henry was grinning over at her so intensely, that she eventually shook her head fondly and went over to give him a hug.

“I’m really happy for you guys,” Henry mumbled into her shoulder. Regina stood back and looked up at him - when did he get so tall? - forcing her eyes to focus for long enough to tell him she loved him. She then retreated upstairs with her coffee to take a shower.

In the shower, she let the water run over her body, making her feel more human by the minute. One word kept playing over and over in her head - family. Whatever else they all were to each other, this was her family, and she loved them fiercely. A picture of what life could be like for them started to form in her head, and she began to think it through piece by piece, a new determination to carve out a space for them settling into her bones. They were going to make this work.


	15. Now What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading even though I don't update with any sort of regularity! We're closing in on some kind of resolution here. Probably two or three more chapters.

The next time Killian and Regina went out with his friends, Regina paced herself better on the alcohol. As fun as that first night was, she despised being hungover, and these guys seemed to have the alcohol tolerance of, well, pirates. And besides, she had just as good a time while not regretting it the next day. She marveled at her newfound ability to actually relax and have fun - something she definitely didn’t know how to do until Emma, and now Killian, showed her how. And the feeling lasted. Unlike other times when she’d be on a high from spending the night with Emma and then would find herself moody and brooding until the next time, these social gatherings had a way of carrying her for days.

She realized that in fact she had started to consider quite a number of people in town actual friends, something she had never had. Sure, she and Kathryn had been friends under the curse, but that was … by design, and not at all genuine. Now when she saw a group of people she knew at Granny’s, she went over to say hello. And every now and then they invited her to join them.

On this particular Thursday she found herself sitting down to lunch with a couple of the guys from Killian’s circle, along with Belle, who apparently had made friends with them during one of the many disasters that hit the town. She was thoroughly enjoying herself, in fact, until the conversation turned to Emma.

“What is Emma up to these days?” Geoffrey asked. He was an almost comically tall and skinny man, folded into the corner of the booth. Regina liked him - he was the one who first started calling her The Dart Queen.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen much of her lately,” Peter agreed with his mouth full of french fries. If he had been someone she knew better, Regina would have said something, but as it was she just shared an amused look with Belle, who rolled her eyes.

“Well, we haven’t had any major disasters lately,” said Belle. “I’m not surprised The Savior wants a little quiet time with her family.”

Regina felt her cheeks turn pink as her inner monologue replied that Emma was anything but quiet. She bit her lip to stop herself from smiling too much.

“She used to come out drinking with Killian, though,” Peter replied. “Was a time she could drink him under the table.”

Geoffrey laughed. “And the rest of us, too.” He turned to them suddenly. “You don’t think she’s pregnant, do you?”

Regina didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, as she felt the pit of her stomach drop and her mind start to race. When had she last seen Emma drinking? Could she be pregnant? Did they want to have kids? What would happen to her if they did?

“Regina?” Belle’s voice filtered into her consciousness, and she shook her head to clear the thoughts away. 

“Sorry - I remembered something I have to do at the office,” she said, and excused herself before anyone could ask any more questions.

She walked slowly back to the office, turning the conversation over in her mind. Once her initial panic had worn off, she realized this was something that she needed to talk to Emma about, but also that she was dreading it. Because what if Emma did want more kids? What if she had been biding her time until she got pregnant, and then as soon as she was, Regina would be back to her lonely life, watching Emma and Killian enjoy  their perfect little family. She heaved a sigh. She knew she was spiraling, but she couldn’t help it. OK, she could help it, but at this point she was already in the midst of it, and she wasn’t going to get out until she talked to Emma.

Regina stopped, closed her eyes for a moment, and then mustered her courage to turn around and head towards the Sheriff station instead of her office. If she couldn’t stop herself from going into the spiral, at least she could prevent it from festering for much longer. She found Emma there on the phone, and Charming was dealing with one of the dwarves who had some complaint about parking. Emma smiled at her and motioned her to come sit by her desk while she finished up the call. Regina tried to stop twisting her fingers around her scarf, with moderate success. She caught Emma watching her, and forced herself to sit still. When Emma finally hung up, she leaned forward onto her desk to catch Regina’s eye.

“Hi,” Emma said gently. “What’s up?”

Regina swallowed past the lump in her throat. This was a terrible idea. But she was already here, so…

“Can we talk? In private?”

She watched the worry creep into Emma’s gaze and instantly regretted her choice of words. But Emma just nodded, gestured to her father that she was taking a break, and led Regina out of the office. “Where do you want to go?” she asked as they walked out the doors.

Regina hesitated for a moment. “Home,” she said eventually. As much as she would prefer to take a walk or something, she wanted total freedom to have this conversation without prying eyes. She took Emma’s hand and quickly flicked her fingers to bring them into her living room with magic. She shrugged her coat off, and Emma did the same. Neither of them spoke. Regina went to sit on the couch, and reached her hand out to Emma as she followed. She took Emma’s hand and squeezed it probably harder than she’d meant to. Emma waited for her to start, and finally Regina found her voice.

“I had lunch with Geoffrey and Peter today,” she said. “And well, they were wondering why you don’t go out to the bar with Killian anymore.”

Emma looked at her as if trying to decide if she was going to say more. When she didn’t, Emma responded, “Well, I uh, I wanted you and Killian to have someplace to hang out, without me. And so I stopped going so you two could have some fun together. I’ll get together with Geoff and Pete soon, though. They’re right, I haven’t seen them for a while.”

Regina wanted to just let that be that - because it was an incredibly sweet thing to do - but she HAD to bring up the spectre that had appeared in her mind. She sighed, and looked down, letting her words come out in a rush.

“One of them thought you might not be coming out drinking because you’re pregnant, and I realized I don’t know if you and Killian want to have kids, and if you do what will happen to us?”

When she looked up, Emma was looking at her with a mix of pity and amusement, which was disconcerting to say the least. Emma scooted closer to her on the couch, and pulled their joined hands into her lap.

“That’s ridiculous, Regina. I’m not pregnant, and I definitely would have told you if I was.”

Regina closed her eyes as one level of worry dissipated. 

“But actually, that’s something that Killian and I have been talking about for a while,” Emma went on, making Regina’s stomach drop yet again.“And honestly at some point I thought I did want to have another kid.” She reached over and cupped Regina’s cheek with her hand. “But now I don’t think that’s really what I want, and he was always a little nervous about the idea. Because yeah, having another kid could be amazing, to get to experience all the things I missed with Henry. But it would also be a shit ton of work. And I’m happy with my life. I”m happy being mom to a teenage son, and having these two incredible lovers, and my parents and little brother. So no, you don’t have to worry about any of this, Regina.”

The relief that Regina felt almost drowned out the profound embarrassment she felt at having jumped to so many conclusions over the random conversation of guys at a diner. Emma chuckled.

“I see you getting lost in your own thoughts, Regina,” she said, and kissed Regina’s cheek lightly. “Stop worrying. I’m not going to make any big decisions about my life without talking to you first.”

Regina bit her lip. “You mean that?” she asked in a small voice.

“Of course I mean that! I love you, Regina.”

Regina sighed and wrapped her arms around Emma, laying her head on her shoulder. “I know,” she whispered. “And I love you, too. I guess I just got worried that, well, you’ll get tired of all of this and just want something normal.”

Emma laughed and rubbed soothing circles on her back. “When has my life ever been normal?” She sat up to look Regina in the eye again. “What do you need from me to feel like you can trust that I’m not going anywhere?” she asked.

Regina blinked at her as she thought about it. “I … don’t know,” she said.

“Well, think about it,” said Emma. “And tell me when you know, OK?”

Regina nodded.

“Can I kiss you now?”

Regina smiled. Emma had mostly stopped asking this, but she had a tendency to do it when Regina was feeling unsure. It was incredibly calming, and reminded her that their relationship was all about communication now. She nodded, and leaned forward to kiss Emma’s lips softly. Emma tangled her fingers into Regina’s hair, not pulling, just anchoring them together. Regina slid her hands down Emma’s back and pressed into her body. The kiss was comforting, and sweet, and exactly what she needed to calm her lingering anxieties.

Emma pulled back eventually and smiled at her. “I should get back to work before my Dad starts to worry that you’ve kidnapped me.”

Regina grinned. “Maybe I should,” she teased. “I could lock you in my bedroom until you begged me to let you go.”

Emma groaned. “Believe me, if I was begging you for something in your bedroom, it would not be to let me go.”

Regina kissed her again, but quickly, so neither of them got caught up in anything.

“I love you,” she murmured into Emma’s mouth. Emma murmured it back, and Regina’s heart glowed for the rest of the afternoon.

***

That glow faded quickly, though, when Regina ran into Gold as she was leaving Town Hall for the evening. He was clearly waiting for her, and she begrudgingly followed him back to his shop when he asked her to. They exchanged pleasantries about their children, which told Regina that whatever he wanted was something about magic. He generally kept that hidden away these days.

Sure enough, the moment the door swung shut, he turned to her, and pulled out an opaque crystal that was swirling with multicolored clouds. She eyed it, not recognizing what it was.

“So,” he said far too casually. “Miss Swan is going to have another baby.”

Regina rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help feeling smug that for once she knew something he didn’t. “Don’t tell me you believed that rumor, Gold,” she said, barely suppressing a smirk. 

He raised his eyebrows. “Rumor? I think not. She clearly has two magical signatures in her body right now.” He gestured to the crystal that he’d put on the counter.

“Excuse me?” Regina said, taking a step closer. “How exactly do you know that?”

He picked up the crystal, and then reached into his pocket for a small vial containing a strand of hair. When he touched the two together, the smoke inside the crystal coalesced into two intertwining lines of bright white and a deep lavender. “I have samples from each of us,” he said by way of explanation. “So I could keep tabs on how the magical balance was going.”

Regina swallowed, trying to maintain her steely expression, but her stomach had dropped. He knew. He had to know. Or if he didn’t yet, he was about to.

She swallowed again, and cleared her throat. “She’s not pregnant, Gold,” she said as evenly as she could. “I asked, and she’s not.”

He looked at her, clearly unmoved by this. “Well perhaps she herself doesn’t know yet,” he gestured again to the crystal. “You can see the two lines for yourself. That’s generally the only reason a person would have two magical signatures.”

Regina bit her lip. Frankly she’d had no idea that their magic had become so intertwined, but here was the evidence right in front of her, and in about three seconds he was going to put it all together, and her world was going to come crashing down. He stared her down, an amused expression on his face, until it suddenly shifted to something much more gleeful and dark. There it was.

“Your Majesty,” he drawled in mock horror, “you didn’t.”

She held up a hand. “Look, whatever it is you think you know right now, I can assure you you have it entirely wrong.”

He leaned across the counter at her. “So that isn’t your magic in there? And if I looked at your sample, her magic wouldn’t be in you?”

Regina heaved a sigh. “Fine. Yes. It is. And you would. But just - you don’t know the whole story.”

“Spare me the details,” he said, chuckling.

“That’s not what I meant,” she snapped, and then closed her eyes. When she opened them again and he was still grinning at her, she made a split second decision and pulled out her phone. She held up a hand to him as if to say ‘don’t go anywhere.’ He waited.

Emma answered with the same joyful tone she always reserved for Regina, and Regina fought to keep her tone and her voice neutral. 

“I need you to come to Gold’s shop right now,” she said with no preamble.

“Is everything OK?” Emma asked, and Regina heard her shuffling around in the background. 

Regina sighed. “He knows,” she said quietly. 

Emma was silent for a moment. “I’ll be right there.”

Emma materialized right next to her wearing a worried expression. Regina’s heart sank. She should have dealt with Gold on her own and then told Emma. She didn’t need to be dragged into this. But at the same time, just having her next to her made Regina feel calmer. So she took a chance, and brushed her hand against Emma’s. When Emma took it and squeezed, Regina leaned closer to her. They turned to Gold, whose expression had finally taken on more curiosity than glee.

“So,” Emma said. “What the hell happened?”

Gold walked her through his conversation with Regina, and they all looked at the crystal that mapped their magical signatures. Regina’s turned out to be nearly identical to Emma’s, but with her purple line shining brighter than Emma’s white. Under different circumstances it would have been beautiful. As it was, she felt the walls closing in on her, and she clung to Emma’s hand harder than she meant to. Emma rubbed her thumb over Regina’s fingers, though, and Regina let go just enough.

“Well,” Emma said once it had all been explained, “Now what?”

“Now he promises not to tell anyone else until you and I and Killian decide the time is right,” Regina snarled towards Gold.

At the mention of Killian’s name, Gold’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Emma saw it, and responded right away.

“Yeah that’s right - I’m not cheating. All three of us are completely on board with this,” she said. 

Her rigid stance and cold tone practically dared him to argue. And while he continued to look shocked, he eventually shrugged.

“What you do is really none of my business,” he said lightly.

“You’re damn right it’s not,” Regina growled, and she pulled her hand free from Emma’s to lean both on the counter. “You’re the only one outside of my family who knows this,” she hissed, “so if anyone so much as looks at us the wrong way, I’m holding you personally responsible.” Her eyes flickered to the portrait of his own family resting on the counter, the threat clearly legible in her gaze.

He smirked at her. “Now, now, Your Majesty. No need for threats. I have nothing to gain by spreading rumors about your … personal life.”

Regina twitched as if ready to lunge at him for that tone, but Emma put a hand on her shoulder.

“Seriously, Gold,” she said, apparently ready to try the good cop tactic. “The person most likely to get hurt if this gets out in a bad way is Henry. As he is still your grandson.”

Gold’s face softened a little, and Regina relaxed. Emma -  _ her  _ Emma - always knew exactly what to do. Gold nodded once, and Regina whirled around to leave the shop. She almost grabbed Emma’s hand on the way out, but stopped herself when she saw a group of people passing by out the window. When they got outside, Emma glanced behind her, saw that there were people everywhere, and murmured, “Come over in half an hour, OK?”

Regina nodded, and bit her lip as Emma gave her a faint smile before turning on her heel and walking back towards her car. Her heart and her mind and her body were all over the place, and it took a heroic effort to simply stuff her hands in her pockets and do the same.

 

***

Regina refused to let herself think about anything in that half hour as she went home, changed her clothes, and turned around to go to Emma’s. She didn’t trust her mind not to spiral, so she kept it on lock down. But the minute Emma opened her door, everything came flooding back, and Regina fell gratefully into Emma’s outstretched arms. Emma led them to the couch, where Killian was sitting in one corner, his leg bouncing up and down. He nodded to Regina, and draped an arm over Emma’s shoulder when she sat down next to him, pulling Regina gently down with her. Regina sighed, utterly confused as to how the bizarre connection between the three of them could feel so comforting. But it did. And right at this moment, that’s what she needed, so she let herself relax enough to tuck her feet underneath her, and turn towards the other two, her hand inches away from Killian’s on the back of the couch, with Emma tucked lovingly between them.

“So…” Regina started, “What are we going to do?”

Two faces turned to her with sad smiles, and she couldn’t help but reach out to stroke Emma’s cheek gently. “I don’t want to lose this,” she added quietly.

“Me neither,” Emma mumbled. “And I know we’d started to talk about telling people, but now that’s real… I don’t know.”

Regina nodded - that was exactly it. Theoretically she didn’t care what anyone thought, but in practice, she hated the idea of losing the friendships she’d just started to have with people in town. And what about Henry? 

“Look, I know it’ll be hard,” Killian said, “But people might surprise you. Look at how well Henry took it.”

“But Henry’s special,” Emma said, turning to look at him. “And frankly, so are you. Most men wouldn’t take kindly to their wife sleeping with someone else. And they get really mean even when it’s not their wife,” she added.

Killian frowned. “But it has nothing to do with them.”

Emma scoffed. “Yeah, I know. But everybody has something to say when women start sleeping around.”

Regina bristled at the term, and Emma turned, as if sensing her unease. “Obviously that’s not what’s happening, but that’s what people are going to say,” she said, her green eyes starting to darken with worry. 

Regina knew she was right, and she hated it. Slowly, that anger rose to the surface, unlocking the part of her that fought back every time someone tried to put her in her place. She welcomed it, letting it banish the anxiety that had been swirling around her for the last hour.

“No,” she said firmly, “I’m not going to let them. Anyone that has anything rude to say to you - either of you -  I will roast them alive.”

That earned a small grin from Killian’s corner, but Emma shook her head. “You can’t make people accept something they think is wrong,” she said quietly.

“Maybe not, but that’s their problem. Our problem is getting to live our lives without hiding. And they will all just have to get used to it.” Regina knew was simplistic, but she also liked the sound of it.

Emma managed a small smile, but didn’t look convinced. Regina tucked a finger under her chin to catch her eyes. “I know this is going to be hard,” she said. “Believe me, I do. But I don’t think we have a choice, and so I’m going to do everything in my power to make it work, OK?”

Killian sat up and placed his hooked arm protectively across Emma’s waist. “As will I, love,” he said.

Regina caught his eye, and as she did, he moved his hand which was still resting on the back of the couch forward to gently cover hers. She held her breath for a moment at the unfamiliar touch, but then let it out in a rush, turning her palm up to take his hand in hers. Emma glanced over at this, and Regina could see a tentative hope taking root in her gaze. Emma looked at her husband, and then at Regina, and then nodded once.

“OK,” Emma whispered. “But let’s be smart about this. Recruit a couple of allies before it gets out to the whole town.”

“Agreed,” Killian said, and pulled his hand back from Regina.

As if on cue, everyone untangled their holds on each other, and settled into more comfortable positions on the couch to talk through a strategy. Eventually they settled on each of them telling one trusted person, and then reporting back before they told anyone else. Basically a test run to see how things were going to go. Emma was telling her father (NOT her mother, at Regina’s insistence), Killian was telling Smee, who apparently still kept a couple of secrets from the old days so was entirely trustworthy, and Regina, much to her chagrin, was telling Zelena. She knew it had to be her sister - who else? But she also dreaded even the process of bringing it up.

When Killian offered to make dinner, Regina quickly said she’d help, and shooed Emma upstairs to take a shower and relax. As she chopped some vegetables, she glanced over at Killian, who was expertly wielding a frying pan with the curve of his hook while stirring the potatoes with a spoon.

“Don’t you ever want a better prosthetic?” she asked.

He grinned at her. “Nah. I got used to the hook a long time ago. Besides, what would they call me, Captain Hand?” They both laughed as he turned back to sprinkle some more seasoning in. “I’ve actually started to wear it less, though,” he said without turning around, and Regina sensed this was something pretty personal he was sharing. “There were years, decades really, where I never took it off. But I do, now, at home sometimes.”

She smiled to herself. “I always wondered if you keep it on when you two have sex,” she said, and then immediately wished she hadn’t. But he laughed and turned to her with a grin.

“Once or twice at the beginning, but Emma didn’t like it, so off it went.”

Regina felt her cheeks go pink, but she grinned back at him. “Such a gentleman,” she teased. 

“Oh I don’t know about that.”

It was Regina’s turn to laugh out loud at that. They bantered back and forth for a bit while they finished up cooking, and when Emma finally came back downstairs, they were laughing about something that neither of them could fully explain to her, which only made them laugh harder, and Regina was back to that glow that she’d left behind many hours earlier. What a day!

Emma insisted that they were done being functional adults, so they sat themselves down in front of the TV and ate mostly in silence, occasionally commenting on the cooking show they’d put on. When they had all finished, they stayed where they were, gradually migrating back to the positions they’d been in before, with Killian and Regina on either side of Emma, each with an arm on the back of the couch behind her. Emma shifted so her head was on Regina’s shoulder, and pulled her feet up into Killian’s lap. Regina leaned her cheek against Emma’s head, soothed by the smell of her shampoo. 

At some point she glanced up, and Killian had looked over at her as well. He held her gaze, and turned his palm up on the back of the couch behind Emma’s shoulder. Regina hesitated for a second, but then shifted so she could place her hand in his. He squeezed it, and then turned back to the TV. Regina leaned back on Emma and sighed, actively ignoring the thoughts and worries that were swirling in her mind. Later, she thought decisively. Let this be comforting right now. 

Sometime a little while later, Regina felt Killian’s hand slip out of hers, and she turned to see him slumped back against the the couch, fast asleep. Emma chuckled.

“What did I tell you? The man can fall asleep anytime, any place.”

“Bastard,” Regina said quietly, and smiled when Emma laughed. She kissed Emma’s hair a couple of times, wrapping both arms around her now. Emma snuggled closer.

“Would you stay here tonight?” Emma whispered.

Regina hesitated. “With you?” She didn’t like the idea of going home, but she also didn’t like the sound of staying on the couch.

“Mmhmm,” Emma replied. “With both of us.” She paused for a moment. “Like that first night on the ship,” she added.

Regina squeezed her tight, grateful for the clarification. “I’d love to,” she whispered.

Emma barely responded before grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. She pulled herself out of Regina’s arms and sat up, twisting to face her. Emma leaned in and kissed her briefly, then turned and rubbed Killian’s chest gently. He stirred and opened one eye.

“Time to go to bed,” Emma said in the gentle voice that Regina recognized from their own nights together. “Regina’s going to stay, too,” she added.

He grunted out some kind of affirmation, and got up, walking sleepily upstairs without much more interaction. Emma turned to Regina and rolled her eyes. “You should see him when he has the early shift at work. It’s pathetic, really.”

Regina chuckled. “He and Henry certainly have that in common.”

“I know, right? Mornings here are pretty sad.”

Regina felt a flutter of something that wasn’t quite jealousy at the mental picture of Emma waking the rest of her family up in the mornings. And then she felt a pang of longing as she imagined herself into that picture. What would that be like - to wake up with all of her family under one roof? She turned the idea over in her head as they trudged up the stairs and took turns in the bathroom. Emma found her a pair of pajamas to wear, and an extra toothbrush, and Regina realized how odd it was that she still felt like a guest in Emma’s home, while Emma had a drawer of clothes and a section of bathroom counter for her things at Regina’s house. 

But all of that disappeared when she climbed under the covers and wrapped herself around her lover. Killian had already fallen back to sleep, flat on his back on one side of the bed. Emma scooted closer to him to make room for Regina on the other side, and settled into her arms.

“This is nice,” Emma breathed.

Regina nodded. “Goodnight, Emma.”

“Goodnight, Regina.”

Regina closed her eyes. But for how comfortable and warm she was, her mind was still turning over the events of the day, and sleep was clearly not going to come anytime soon. But she didn’t really mind, as being sleepless while in Emma’s arms was far preferable to tossing and turning in her own bed alone. Eventually, though, she twisted around to take a sip of water from the cup on the nightstand, and saw that Emma’s eyes were still open, too.

“Can’t sleep?” she whispered, leaning back down onto the pillow so their faces were inches from each other.

Emma shook her head. 

“Me neither,” Regina said.

Emma smiled at her, a smile that Regina also recognized from their nights together. A smile that meant she wanted to be distracted from her insomnia. Sure enough, Emma trailed her hand down Regina’s side to sit gently on the dip of her waist, and leaned forward to kiss her. It was a quick kiss, just an offer, really. She did it a few more times before lying back on the pillow to look at Regina, who hadn’t moved. She was suddenly keenly aware of her situation, lying in bed with her lover and her lover’s husband, and it was, as Emma would say, freaking her out.

“Regina,” Emma whispered, breaking her out of her swirling thoughts. “I want to kiss you. Like, really kiss you. But only if you’re comfortable with that. So, tell me what you’re thinking?”

Regina took a breath. “I don’t know, Emma,” she said honestly.

Emma smiled, an entirely different smile this time, and pressed a sweet kiss to Regina’s cheek. “Then I won’t,” she said, and turned on her back, pulling Regina in to lie on her shoulder. “That doesn’t have to be something we do.”

Regina buried her face in Emma’s shirt for a moment as embarrassment flooded her system. But as it subsided, she thought about it. Killian probably wouldn’t wake up. And while she certainly didn’t want to have sex with Emma in this situation, she couldn’t deny that the idea of kissing and holding her was appealing. Even with Killian there. But what did that mean? She was firmly not interested in having a threesome with them - that was just too much. But could she be interested in taking her relationship with Emma outside of her bedroom? And could there be some kind of physical aspect to her relationship with Killian?

She propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Emma. “How are you so calm about all of this?” she asked.

Emma chuckled. “You saw me earlier. I’m definitely not calm about it all the time.”

“Yes, but that was about telling people. This - sleeping between your husband and your lover - none of this has fazed you from the very beginning.”

Emma twirled a strand of Regina’s hair that had fallen towards her face and shrugged thoughtfully. “I don’t know, Regina. I just … it just always felt right, you know?” She looked up, as if searching for the words, before looking back at Regina.

“Nothing I did in my life ever felt right,” she said, her tone more serious now. “Until I finally let down my walls and started loving people. It happened with Henry first, and then my parents, and Killian, and now you. And every time I let someone in, it just feels more and more right. And I guess … well, maybe I just used to caring more about what works for me than anything else after taking care of myself my whole life.”

Emma stopped and brushed her knuckles over Regina’s cheek. “I know this has probably been harder on you than any of us - “

“No, Emma,” Regina interrupted, grabbing her hand and kissing her fingers. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like - “

But Emma interrupted her right back, pressing a finger to her lips. “Shhh, Regina. It is hard, especially on you.I know that. I also know if it wasn’t worth it, you wouldn’t be here right now. And you are, so don’t worry about how it sounds.”

Regina sighed. Emma was right. For all of the soul searching, and questioning, and angst that sometimes came up, she was happier than she’d been … maybe ever. She pressed her forehead against Emma’s, and kissed her sweetly before lying back down on Emma’s shoulder and snuggling closer together again.

After a couple of minutes, her mind calmed down, and she was able to check in with what she was really feeling, not what her fear was telling her. Emma’s soft breathing was soothing, as was the faint snore coming from Killian’s side of the bed. There was something so comforting, and so intimate about sleeping with people. Actually sleeping, that is. Sex was one thing, but trusting someone enough to fall asleep next to them meant a lot. So maybe that was enough for now. 

“Emma?” she whispered.

“Hmmm?”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, Regina.”

Regina smiled at how sleepy Emma sounded. As she lay there quietly, she felt Emma’s breathing even out, and eventually a calm spread over her enough that she fell asleep as well.


	16. Telling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally addressing the elephant in the room about whether Regina and Killian are more than just metamours. And I promise you'll like what I've done. Just keep reading. :)
> 
> I haven't forgotten about Emma asking Regina what she needs to feel secure, either. But that didn't make it into this chapter.

Regina and Killian went out with “the guys” that Friday, the day before they were all supposed to tell their people about their relationships. Regina tried really hard not to think of this as her last hurrah before she lost these tentative friendships, but every so often the thought crept through her defenses and left her feeling empty. So, of course, she drank too much. As did Killian, and somehow they once again ended up lounging in her living room at 2am. They steered clear of any meaningful conversation, but Regina could feel the fear emanating from both of them. 

Killian was currently waxing poetic about some new kind of sail cloth he had discovered, so Regina made her way to the kitchen to gulp down some water and prep the coffee maker for the morning. He was still talking to the empty room, but honestly she didn’t think he minded. She shook her head and smiled a little to herself. To think that after all this time of distrust, anger, and, well, jealousy, she could find him endearing? Things certainly had changed over the years. She was lost in her own thoughts and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to startle you,” Killian said. He reached past her and grabbed a glass for water.

“Look at you, drinking water without anyone telling you to.”

“Emma made it quite clear she would have no sympathy if I came home hungover and irritable in the morning.”

Regina chuckled. “Same.”

He smiled at her over the top of his glass, which he chugged before setting down in the sink. He turned back to Regina.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked.

“Hmmm?”

“You seemed lost in thought. What were you thinking about?”

Regina blinked her eyes, which were still a little fuzzy, and answered without thinking, “You, actually.”

Killian smirked at her.

“Oh don’t be like that, pirate,” she teased. “No, I was just thinking about how much has changed. Because against all odds, I actually like you.”

She expected him to banter back at her, but instead his face softened, and he leaned his elbow on the counter. “The feeling is entirely mutual,” he said.

She smiled at him. And then she felt a shift as their eyes locked. The air between them suddenly felt charged, and she took a step towards him. He gazed at her steadily, and stepped towards her as well. Her mind was blank, and she acted on pure instinct as she leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. He responded by opening his mouth just a bit, and kissing her back. As he did, the stubble on his cheek brushed against her, and it was enough to jolt her back to reality. She looked up at him, as if realizing who he was, and instantly began to laugh against his mouth. She pulled back and laughed harder, leaning against the counter as the ridiculousness of what had just happened hit her.

He grinned, and pretty soon began to chuckle, and then laugh right along with her.

“No,” she managed to choke out. “That was a terrible idea.”

“Aye,” he said, wiping his eyes. “It was like kissing my sister.”

At that, Regina lost what composure she’d regained, and pretty soon she was in absolute stitches, holding onto the edge of the counter for fear of losing her balance.  _ Well _ , some part of her thought,  _ that answered that question.  _

Eventually their laughter died down, and Regina finally looked at him steadily. “I don’t know what we are to each other,” she said with a gentle smile, “but it works.”

He nodded. Regina looked down, not knowing what to say after that.

“Fancy a game of cards?” he asked.

She grinned. “Absolutely.”

 

***

Thankfully Regina wasn’t hungover the next morning, as she was meeting Zelena for coffee and the Very Important Conversation. She tugged on her skirt, dusting imaginary lint off of it. She was entirely overdressed for a casual get-together with her sister, but it made her feel powerful, so she was wearing her favorite suit. She’d compromised by wearing flats and only minimal makeup. But of course Zelena wasn’t fooled for a second.

“Headed to work right after, Regina?” she asked the minute she opened the door of the farmhouse. Regina sighed.

“No, I just … felt like looking nice, that’s all.”

Zelena raised an eyebrow but left it alone as she ushered Regina in. But the minute they were settled at the table with a pot of coffee and a plate of baked goods between them, she started right up again.

“So,” Zelena said, “to what do I owe this unexpected visit?”

“I visit you every Sunday,” Regina replied coldly.

“For dinner. I don’t think we’ve ever had coffee just because you wanted to chat. You have some ulterior motive.”

Regina began to fidget with her coffee mug. “Look, I have something to tell you,” she started, and glanced up.

Zelena was grinning at her.

“What?” Regina asked.

“I knew you’d been hiding something,” said Zelena, barely containing her excitement. “And I finally get to know what it is. Ooh, I hope it’s something juicy.”

Regina resisted the urge to flip the table over into her sister’s face and settled for throwing her a withering look. Which did nothing to dull Zelena’s enthusiasm, of course. Why had she agreed to do this again?

She needed to get control of the situation, and get Zelena to understand that this was serious. So she tried a tactic that had worked surprisingly well with her sister in the past - she let herself be completely honest and vulnerable.

“Zelena, I want to tell you this, but I need you to understand how difficult this is for me to even put into words,” she started, looking at her sister with what she hoped was sincerity in her eyes. She certainly felt sincere. “And it’s vital that you understand that I’m telling you this in confidence. Nobody else can know yet.”

It worked. Zelena’s energy focused in, and she put out a hand to touch Regina’s arm gently. “Alright, sis,” she said. “You can trust me. Tell me what’s going on.”

And Regina did. She told her absolutely everything - from flirting with Emma, to the magical barrier disruption that brought them together, to Emma and Killian’s open marriage. Zelena listened, her face going from shocked to intrigued to shocked again as Regina revealed just how intense her relationship with Emma could be at times. She even talked about them sharing magic through sex, although she glossed over the details of course, because it was this that had led Gold to finding out about them.

“Whew!” Zelena replied, leaning back. “Well, I have to say sis, this is certainly better news than I thought it was going to be.”

“You - what?” asked Regina.

“Oh come on, the way you and Emma look at each other? I was pretty much ready to say you were having an affair. Which, you kind of are? But everybody knows about it, so it’s all OK?”

Regina gaped at her. “What do you mean the way Emma and I look at each other?”

Zelena waved her hand at her dismissively. “Most people probably don’t see it, but I know you, Regina. You look at that woman like the sun shines out of her ass. And she looks at you like she’d like to take you home and ravish you,” she added.

Regina felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment, so she buried her face in her coffee cup until she could get her emotions under control.

“So,” she asked carefully, “You’re alright with … everything I told you?”

“Are you asking my permission, Regina?” Zelena scoffed.

“Decidedly not,” Regina replied, matching her sister’s tone. “I’m asking what you think.”

Zelena grinned at her, and Regina relaxed. They’d recently found a good rhythm in conversation, and occasionally retreating to some good old-fashioned posturing generally helped ease any tension that came up.

Zelena’s look softened for a moment, though, and she asked, “Are you happy?”

Regina looked down for a moment, but then nodded. “I am,” she said, and knew that she meant it. “It’s messy and complicated, and, well, that’s OK.” She sighed. “I’ve been trying to decide if there would come a point when I would get fed up with the whole thing. And maybe there will be, but right now, I’m happy. I love Emma, so much. And honestly, I’m starting to love the friendship that Killian and I have, too. When it’s the three of us, it just works somehow.”

Zelena nodded, a gentle smile on her face. The smile then turned into something a little more ... wicked and she leaned her chin on her hand to smirk at Regina.

“You don’t … you know, with the pirate too, do you?” she asked, her tone dripping with innuendo.

Regina smirked back at her. “Funny you should ask that,” she said, and then took a sip of coffee. Zelena’s shocked face was absolutely worth it. “We actually kissed last night,” she said, deliberately pausing for effect, “and decided it was a terrible idea.”

Zelena all but collapsed with a mix of glee and frustration. She swatted Regina’s arm, as Regina laughed heartily at how flustered she was.

“You terrible tease!” Zelena yelled.

“Actually, he said it was like kissing his sister,” Regina said, and leaned a little too far forward. “Care to give it a try?”

Zelena let out an incredibly satisfying shriek before laughing loudly with Regina.  _ Well _ , thought Regina, _ if everyone else was having as good a time as I am, maybe this will work. _

 

***

Everyone else did not have as good a time as she did. In fact, Zelena was the only one who took it well, although Emma’s and Killian’s experiences were quite different. Killian informed Regina that she and Emma were all but guaranteed to be on the receiving end of some quite lecherous comments the next time she went out with the guys or stopped by the docks. Apparently Smee hadn’t bothered to listen to most of what Killian had said, and had instead spent the entire time asking about whether Killian ever watched Emma and Regina in bed. At least Killian had the decency to be furious about it.

Emma, on the other hand, was sitting all too quietly as they recounted their stories. She and Killian shared a look and then both moved closer to Emma, who was curled up in the corner of the couch in Regina’s living room.

“Emma, love?” Killian asked, rubbing her shoulder from one side while Regina picked up her other hand and started to rub her wrist softly.

“I’m sorry,” Emma whispered. 

Regina frowned at her. “what do you have to be sorry about?”

Emma shook her head. “I just … it didn’t go well.”

“I think we’d gathered that, love,” Killian said, glancing up at Regina again. “Tell us?”

Emma sucked in a breath, and held tight to Regina’s hand. Regina pulled their hands towards her, cradling them in her lap, while Killian began to smooth Emma’s hair back from her face. Emma dropped her face, and then a sob escaped her.

“Oh, Emma,” Regina murmured. She and Killian both reached out, and together they held Emma close, letting her cry. When her sobs were subsiding, Regina magicked over a box of tissues, which Emma took gratefully. After she was breathing more normally, she looked up at them with eyes that were still swimming with tears. She rubbed her face and took a deep breath before finally launching into her story.

“I didn’t know what to say,” she started, “So I told him things all inside out. And now I’m pretty sure my dad thinks there was some kind of magical accident that made Regina and I attracted to each other? I don’t know. He kind of stopped listening after he got the gist of things, and I kept trying to explain that the magic thing was just what got us together, but he took it and ran with it.”

Regina rolled her eyes. Typically Charming behavior. Apparently Killian saw her do it, because he smirked at her over Emma’s head. No matter - he knew how she felt about Emma’s parents, and how it was anything but straightforward.

“Anyway,” Emma continued, “He just kept saying that I needed to take some time away from you - “ she looked at Regina - “so I could refocus on my marriage. And no matter how many times I said that I’m happy being with both of you, he didn’t get it.”

“Well, he’ll see that you’re happy eventually, won’t he?” Regina said.

“I hope so,” said Emma. She sighed again. “But there’s more. He already told my mom, and of course he told her all kinds of wrong things, and she found me and was halfway to Gold’s shop to ask him to break the ‘spell you put me under’ before I realized what was happening, and well, it didn’t end well.”

Regina willed herself to focus on Emma. Emma, her lover who needed her. Not Snow White who once again was meddling in her life and making people she loved suffer.

“What happened?” Killian asked, and Regina focused back on the present.

“I told her to go to hell and stormed away from her,” Emma said. “But that’s not the worst part.”

Good God, there was more?

“Henry saw the whole thing happen,” Emma whispered, and began to cry again. Regina’s hand tightened around Emma’s.

“What did he say?” Regina asked as gently as she possibly could.

“I don’t know,” Emma sobbed. “He ran away from me when I tried to go talk to him.”

A weight settled in the pit of Regina’s stomach, and she couldn’t move. The one thing she’d said to Emma every time they hit a roadblock was that it couldn’t hurt Henry. And now it had. she honestly couldn’t think past there. She needed to find Henry. She got up, but Emma didn’t let her hand go.

“Regina,” she said, standing up to meet her. “I’m so sorry.”

Regina was trembling. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to hold Emma, to comfort her, and figure this out together. She wanted to yell at her because she’d promised their son wouldn’t get hurt. So she stood there, frozen in between her two desires until the realization hit that in fact this was one person’s fault, and it wasn’t her, and it wasn’t Emma. It was Snow White. The old hatred flared up in her heart, and she turned away towards the door.

She was surprised to feel not Emma’s hand but Killian’s hook stopping her as she marched past. “Wait,” he said simply.

She looked pointedly down at his hook and back up at him. “Let go of me,” she hissed.

“Regina,” he said, and some rational part of her heard how gentle his voice was. “This isn’t the way.”

It cut through her rage somehow, and she shook her head, as if coming back to her senses. She closed her eyes to focus on her breathing for a full minute. When she opened them again, she saw saw Killian and Emma staring at her with worried expressions. Worried - she reminded herself - about her, not what she could become, or what she would do. She had learned that lesson too many times to go back there. She gave a curt nod, and Killian dropped his hook.

“I’m sorry,” Emma whispered again. And this time Regina’s loving instinct won out. She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Emma.

“It’s not your fault,,” she murmured into Emma’s hair. “I’m angry. I’m not angry at you.”

Emma nodded and clung to her.

“May I … make a suggestion?” Killian asked.

Emma pulled back from Regina, keeping one hand on the small of her back as she took a step closer to her husband and nodded.

“I think I might be able to talk to Henry,” he said. 

Regina was about to argue but he held up a hand. “To get him to talk to his mothers, of course,” he added. “The lad and I have talked about our relationship configuration on a number of occasions, mostly when we went out sailing. I think I could help him understand what happened today.”

Regina was about to snap something defensive, but Emma cut in and agreed that it was a good idea. Killian turned to her.

“Regina? I won’t do it unless you agree, too.”

Maybe it was his willingness to defer to her judgment, or maybe she had actually begun to trust him, but her defensiveness evaporated, and something that felt an awful lot like gratitude took its place. She nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak. Killian nodded back, and leaned in to give Emma a quick kiss. He squeezed Regina’s shoulder amicably as he passed her, and was out the door before anyone said anything else.

Regina heard Emma sniff, and turned to see that she had started crying again.

“God, I’m such a mess!” Emma said as she went back to retrieve the box of tissues from the coffee table. 

“It’s alright” Regina said. She pulled Emma gently back down onto the couch and wrapped her arms around her again. “I very nearly went to fireball your mother. You’re allowed to cry for a while.”

That got a watery laugh, and Regina smiled sadly at her lover as she wiped her tears away. “I nearly fireballed my mother, too,” Emma said. She leaned her forehead on Regina’s shoulder. “What are we going to do?”

Regina rubbed her back and buried her face in Emma’s hair. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I don’t know.”


End file.
